Grant wished them both a good evening and savored the relief and satisfaction all parents felt after successfully navigating a potential crisis. He felt a swell of gratitude as his gaze stretched to the guest room. Grant didn’t mess up and scar his queer child thanks to Royce’s quick thinking. Royce understood how insecure Audrey would feel and made sure they didn’t let her down. Grant rose from his desk and he felt lighter and a smile tickled his lips as he climbed the stairs. His baby girl was spreading her wings and Grant knew she’d be alright. Vanessa and everyone at The Six Beans kept an eye on her and Marcy was already taking care of all the details that made Grant squeamish. Marcy was way more emotionally equipped to handle that, being a well-adjusted bisexual, so he allowed his attention to drift as he turned down the hall. His body tightened and his heart raced as he knocked on the door.
“Enter,” Royce called. Grant heard warning bells again but this time he knew he was the one telling lies and playing games as he pushed the door open. “Everything all right?” Royce asked. His arm was curled behind his head and he was reading something on his phone. Despite being shirtless, there was nothing provocative about Royce’s black joggers or his posture but Grant’s nerves sparked and hummed as he shut the door behind him and leaned against it.
“I wanted to thank you for today,” he said. Royce laughed softly as he set his phone on the bedside table.
“You just needed a moment to catch your breath and catch up but I knew you’d be fine. I think that was one of the best moments of my life, if I’m being honest,” he said as he sat up and pulled his knees to his chest and rested his elbows on them. “I just did what we wished our parents would have done and gave you a chance to bring it home,” he explained. Grant lost his breath as a warm rush of heat spread through him.
“I really miss that,” he whispered.
“What?” Royce asked. Grant hesitated for a moment and wondered if he was sharing something too precious but he found that he wanted to give it to Royce.
“Having a partner, when things get hard or scary with Audrey. It was like when we were weaning her off the bottle or potty training. I’d get tired and need to tap out or I’d come up blank and Chris would take over and give me a chance to catch my breath. Or check the internet,” he chuckled and Royce smiled.
“I think we did pretty well. We make a very good team,” he said then shrugged. “But it was an honor and I hope I didn’t overstep. Are you all right?” Royce asked. Grant nodded and for once, he truly felt like it. He wasn’t worried about Audrey and she wasn’t worried about him. In the morning, Grant would find something to make his brain itch and his stomach clench but at the moment, he felt calm and almost happy. He’d be overjoyed if it weren’t for his concern for the Lees and Sam but Grant decided to set them aside for the night and celebrate being almost happy.
“I’m fine, thanks to you,” he said and Royce smiled.
“Good. It was my pleasure,” he replied. Grant’s teeth scraped over his lip and he shook his head.
“Not yet but I haven’t finished thanking you,” he warned as he pushed off the door and began unbuttoning his shirt as he strode to the bed.
“Will you stay and let me hold you afterwards?” Royce asked as Grant set his hands on the mattress and he paused and his brows fell.
“No,” he stated and gave Royce a moment to consider. Grant was willing to lie to himself and pretend he wasn’t in love but he wasn’t going to damn himself by lingering in Royce’s bed and falling asleep in his arms. It would make the rest of his nights that much colder and lonelier once it was over and Grant was back to his old routine. Royce scrubbed his face with his hands as he muttered a few curses.
“Fine!” He said as he fell back on the bed then lifted his hips as he pushed the waist of his joggers down his thighs. “I’m allowing it, even though I object,” he declared. Grant hummed in agreement as he helped Royce with his joggers then tossed them over his shoulder.
“Your feelings have been noted and I’ll take them into consideration,” Grant joked as he lowered his shoulders and his neck stretched. His tongue reached as his hands wrapped around firm, round asscheeks and Grant was just about to taste ambrosia when Royce’s hand gripped his shoulder, halting him. Grant raised his head and widened his eyes expectantly up at Royce.
“We’re going to have to talk about this soon,” Royce warned. Grant nodded but he’d already dismissed the idea, covered it in denial and shoved it in with the rest of his regrets and fears.
“Later,” Grant lied then made sure Royce couldn’t speak for the rest of the night.
Chapter 30
How can he order coffee and act completely normal? Royce wondered as he stood next to Grant and watched him whisper with Vanessa about Audrey’s date. I should be taking notes, he thought glumly as he left them and went to fix his coffee. He poured sugar into his cup and scowled as he reached for a wooden stirrer. No one would look at Grant and suspect that he could destroy a man with his tongue or that he was capable of extreme acts of cruelty. Royce’s gaze lingered on Grant’s lips and his body ached with need and frustration. The things Grant did to him… Royce stifled a shiver as he sipped his coffee.
Royce was completely shattered and drained when Grant ignored his pleas and abandoned him. He was sated to his toes and exhausted but Royce longed to feel their bodies tangle and taste Grant’s lips. He wanted to taste every inch of Grant’s skin and ride him like a jet ski but mostly, Royce wanted to fall asleep with Grant and wake up with him in his arms. This is madness. He couldn’t focus on the Lees or “Sam” because he was falling apart over Grant but Royce couldn’t declare himself or make any promises until he knew why Waites sent him to Hopkins Creek. Grant wouldn’t be able to look at Royce if he was there to get rid of the Lees, even if they were dangerous. His instincts told him the Lees were good, kind, harmless people but Royce couldn’t shake the feeling that something dangerous was lurking in Hopkins Creek. Royce wanted to promise Grant he’d stay and build a life with him but there was a chance his mission could rip the little community apart. Royce wasn’t just in love with Grant. He was in love with Audrey, Edgar, Marcy, Walter, Vanessa and The Six Beans… He loved everything about the life he was building but Royce might have to hurt everyone in Hopkins Creek to save it.
The connection between them was just as tenuous as Grant’s trust and Royce wanted to nurture it and make the kinds of declarations and promises he deserved but matters were complicated by more than just the Lees and “Sam”. Espionage was nerve-wracking for people with good mental health, not that Royce could think of any, but Grant was holding up incredibly for someone suffering with depression and anxiety. And Grant was coping with the stress of dating and intimacy when he wasn’t truly ready, if they were being honest. Grant only accepted Royce’s invitation to dinner because he’d been pressured by Audrey and Marcy and was ambushed with a flat tire. He was forced into a whirlwind romance because of the Lees and Royce saw the strain it put on Grant but he continued to push himself because he couldn’t let his family and neighbors down. Royce was afraid of adding one more emotional brick to Grant’s already heavy load as he rejoined Grant and Vanessa.