Grant would always be grateful to Royce for giving him a chance to experience those precious glimpses of happiness and calm. For the first time since he’d lost Chris, Grant laughed and gasped and experienced emotions so vivid and real, they made him breathless and left him shaken but he didn’t shrink away. He held onto Royce and saw sparks and felt goosebumps and for a little while he was new; a man who hadn’t been broken, in some way, for most of his life.
Maybe it was denial. There was a good chance that what was left of Grant’s heart would break again but he couldn’t regret Royce. He was the only one who understood that the weight of the world would still find Grant, even with therapy and a medicine cabinet full of antidepressants, SSRIs and sedatives. Royce understood that being happy could be just as draining as an across town move. Royce took Edgar to the post office and picked up their coffee then crawled back into bed with Grant when he didn’t feel up to it. And Royce would put on a movie when Grant still felt too heavy and tired to get out of bed and wear pants. Royce understood and he gave Grant the space to wallow in his lows then made him tater tot nachos when he was ready to sit up and watch Stranger Things again. There was also a lot of sex. Royce could be gentle and soothing, filling Grant with slow, rocking thrusts when he was fragile. Or, teasing and insatiable when Grant felt brave and hungry. Royce stayed by his side and kept him company and it was the first time Grant felt understood and accepted for exactly who he was. Unlike every other person he’d ever known, Royce didn’t take Grant’s depression or anxiety personally or see it as something that had to be chased away. Grant didn’t have to hide his pain or pretend he wasn’t exhausted to avoid a lecture or a swell of “helpful” suggestions. He could just be his moody, anxious self and Royce still wanted him.
“Grant?” Dr. Beth called and he jumped.
“Hmmm…?” He squinted and blinked as he tried to recall what they were talking about.
“Why haven’t you mentioned the man you’ve been dating? I had no idea until I saw the two of you getting coffee. Vanessa said you’ve been seeing each other for weeks,” she said and he held up his hands.
“Looks like she saved me the trouble,” he pointed out but Dr. Beth gave him one of her “knock it off and quit wasting my time” stares. “Right…” He started and his nerves twisted and his stomach clenched as he shifted in his seat.
“Everyone’s really excited for you and the gossip around town is that you two are getting serious. Why do you look like your hair’s about to fall out?” She asked and he laughed softly then slid her a cheeky grin.
“I’m about to test the limits of doctor-patient privilege and drop the biggest nugget of gossip in Hopkins Creek history,” he warned and she shook her head dismissively.
“You’d be surprised at the stories I’ve heard. Try me,” she dared him and he shrugged then sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
“His name is Agent Royce Bradshaw. The whole thing’s a scam, so he can investigate my neighbors, and I’m scared because I’ve fallen in love with him.”
Chapter 37
The day of the Midsummer Night’s Drink arrived and Royce found himself unusually anxious and preoccupied. His nerves hummed like he was preparing for a fight but there was also a tickle of anticipation and a delightful flipping of his stomach, every time he imagined dancing with Grant and seeing him in his costume. He was nearly ready to jump out of his skin when their costumes arrived but he didn’t get a chance to peek at Grant’s before Audrey confiscated it.
“Is this one for dad?” She asked then pulled the long, flat box out of Royce’s arms and dashed up the stairs.
“Yes, but…” Royce called after her.
“Whatever. I’m almost done with his makeup but I’m keeping him up here until it’s time to go,” she announced and Royce winced.
“I wasn’t planning on doing makeup. I didn’t think he’d be that cooperative.”
“I’ll help you when I’m done with dad,” Audrey promised before a door slammed and Royce brightened.
“Excellent!” He said then carried his costume into the bedroom to get ready. Royce would never be ready, he realized, as he waited in the foyer and Grant finally appeared. Celeste had outdone herself and a Hermes bag wouldn’t be adequate, Royce decided, as Grant strolled down the stairs as the sexiest and most enchanting Oberon to ever grace Fairyland.
“These are surprisingly light!” Grant said as he pointed at his tree branch antlers and Royce nodded weakly in agreement. He was dressed as Puck and his antlers were smaller but made of the same lightweight foam and wire. Royce was more interested in Grant’s tight brown breeches and the fact that he was shirtless beneath his leaf embroidered velvet vest. “What’s wrong?” Grant asked as he paused on the bottom step. “Is it my face? I told you I look like I’m radioactive,” he complained up at Audrey and she stuck out her tongue.
“You look like you’re glowing. I wasted the rest of my good highlighter so you’d better not rub it off the minute you get out of the house,” she warned as she pointed at Grant threateningly.
“It’s too much, isn’t it?” Grant asked and his lips pulled tight as he looked at Royce.
“No!” He gasped as he reached for him. “You look luminous!” Royce insisted as he carefully tilted Grant’s chin back and placed a kiss on his very glossy lips.
“If you say so,” Grant muttered and Royce shushed him.
“You look incredible,” he said then angled his head so he could whisper in Grant’s ear. “I’m looking forward to kneeling before my fairy king later.”
“Don’t!” Grant hissed then risked a quick glance at the top of the stairs before he pulled Royce closer. “You can’t do that when I’m wearing these pants!” He widened his eyes at Royce and his cheeks took on a pink glow. Royce’s eyes dropped and caught on the semi forming in the front of Grant’s trousers. Grant frowned as he stepped back and eyed Royce’s costume.
“What?” Royce asked as he looked down at himself. His green breeches were just as tight and they were wearing similar riding boots. He was also wearing an abundance of highlighter and was looking quite luminous as well.
“Why did you get a shirt? You don’t need one,” Grant complained and Royce’s lips twisted.
“You don’t need one, you look ridiculously sexy. But I am 100% sure you were supposed to have a shirt,” Royce stated and they both turned but Audrey had disappeared.
“Did it have lace and ruffles, like that?” Grant asked as he waved at Royce’s shirt. He’d left the front unlaced so it showed more of his chest and he looked less like a mum but Royce wasn’t thrilled with it either.
“Hold on,” Royce said as he shrugged out of his vest. It had long tails like Grant’s but Royce’s vest was covered in leaf appliqués that sparkled when they caught the light. Royce quickly pulled off the shirt then replaced the vest and held out his arms. “Better?” He asked and Grant nodded faintly.
“Aesthetically, sure…” He said then wrinkled his nose. “But not great for the front of my pants,” he added and Royce chuckled as he reached for Grant and twirled him around the foyer.