The only other person I told was Stacey.
God, I miss her.
I haven’t been acknowledging that, for fear that I’ll do something stupid, like call her. I can’t. Chad was right. Just like my dad was right. I’m selfish. I do what I want, and someday, I would have just hurt her.
To think, I almost told her I was ready to tell Chad about us. I wanted to give us a real shot, and then … I don’t know.
She never loved me. I saw the way she looked at me as I walked out the door. She was betrayed and disgusted, and she was right. I’m better off, staying away and bedding any other woman who walks in front of me.
What am I even doing?
I’m obviously not a man who deserves her if I’m hiding out and thinking these stupid-ass thoughts.
Grandma isn’t around to help me, and the only other person who I would turn to hates me.
Looking down at the picture of my grandparents, I stare at the man I never had a chance to meet and ask him his advice, “What the hell do I do?”
He doesn’t answer, but something inside me tells me I know exactly what needs to be done.
I reach for my phone and call Laura, Chad and Stacey’s mom.
“Hello, Wesley! How are you?” she sings into the phone, putting my worries instantly at ease.
“I’m good. Thank you for taking my call.” I lean forward on my knees, taking a deep breath.
“Oh, sweetheart. Why wouldn’t I take your call? I’ll admit, I was surprised. Is everything okay?”
A slight laugh escapes my lips. “Have they not told you everything?”
“Quite the opposite actually. Stacey is … well, I can’t speak on her behalf, Wes. I hope you understand.”
I rub my hand down my face. “I do, ma’am. I actually have something else to ask you.” My hand is shaking as I rake it through my hair. Unsure of exactly what I want to know from her, I ask the first thing that comes to my mind, “Why did you take me in all those years ago?”
“Take you in? I’d hardly call having my son’s friend over as taking you in.”
My heart drops into the pit of my stomach. I grab it and let out a hard breath.
Laura sighs. “Do you remember that time you and Stacey tried to save the wetlands?”
“It was for a high school project. We got an A-plus.”
“Not then. Years before. They had put up a sign that there was a new development going up. Stacey was livid. She came home and was ranting and raving about the ecosystem, the animals, the environment. There was nothing I could do to change the mind of my impassioned daughter. So, I took her around the neighborhood to get signatures to stop the development. And would you believe who we saw while getting signatures? This handsome young boy with brown hair and a lopsided grin. You came up to us and asked if we’d sign your petition to stop the redevelopment of the wetlands. Well, Stacey was up in arms because someone else was beating her to saving the wetlands!”
Laura laughs, and the vibration rumbles through the phone. I find myself laughing too.
“She hated me from the moment we met.”
“She loved you from that moment you met. The two of you got five hundred signatures that week. It couldn’t save the wetlands because they were built on years later, but you found a similar desire to do what was right.” With a pause, she lowers her voice and declares, “Wes, I, too, loved you from that moment because I saw a decent, wonderful young man who had the same conviction as my Stacey. When you and Chad became friends, it was easy to welcome you into our family. You were a good kid.”
I smile while disagreeing, “I have a set of parents and some teachers from back in the day who would disagree with you.”
“You’re a good man,” she says firmly, and I sit up straighter. “Wesley, you can come home.”
“I am home. I’m literally sitting in my parents’ house right now.”
“No, sweetie. Your home, the place where you grew up—125 Hickory Lane, Manhattan Beach,” I hear her recite her address, Chad and Stacey’s home. “And not just for Christmas. Anytime. All the time. You always have a seat at this table. The reason I never saw it as taking you in was because you always belonged with us. Any day or night, I was happy to open the door to you.
“Now, I’ve heard the way your father speaks to you, and I’ve never agreed. I can’t change the things he says or does, but I can make right something Shane and I feel but have never said. We have always been proud of you.”
Fuck. I didn’t call her for this. I wasn’t expecting to have my fucking eyes burn as she tells me the words I wish my parents had said to me just once. This isn’t what I wanted.
It’s better.
My heart, the one that’s thumping beneath the surface under my palm, is alive for the first time in years. I can breathe. Gasping big breaths, I take in her perfect words.
“Thank you, Laura. I have to say, I might have messed things up though. Your children aren’t speaking to me.”
She makes a hmm sound, which is laced in disappointment. Maybe she does know the whole story.
“I have to admit, I’m not happy with any of this. My daughter going off to college with her brother was supposed to be a sure thing to tame my anxiety.”
“Led the lamb to the wolf’s den.”
“I could say the same in reverse. My daughter is a bulldozer. When she wants something, she gets it. And she’s always wanted you.” Her quiet chuckle makes me smile. “I had to pay close attention, but I noticed it. Same as I always thought you saw something special in her. I’m glad you finally dropped that wall you’d held up so high.”
“Yeah, but look where it got us.”
“Do you still feel strongly for my daughter?”
“I do. I really do.”
“She’s growing up, and she needs to make her own decisions. And Chad … well, he’s never going to stop having high standards for himself, his family, his friends …”
Her words bring tears to my eyes that I let slowly slip out. All these years, I’ve harbored feelings of abandonment because I disappoint my parents and they don’t deserve my love. Chad and the Brightmores have been everything to me. I hurt them, and in turn, I’m more alone than ever.
“You have no idea what you guys meant to me, growing up. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I feel like I’ve let everyone down.”
“Wesley, you could never let us down. I understand what you’re going through, especially with your parents. But don’t forget; you were here just as much as you were there. You’ve been a part of our family since the first day you and Chad jumped on that trampoline together. Just because that’s where you came from doesn’t mean that’s where you’re going. And if you start to stray, hopefully, we’ve taught Stacey enough to reel you back in.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, letting the sting that sits behind my lids still before more tears fall. We sit in silence as I gather my thoughts.
“Don’t let anyone stand in your way of happiness. Why don’t you reach out to them and talk it out? I know feelings have been hurt, but everyone can mend and find happiness again. Just don’t give up.”
“I can’t do that. They won’t speak to me.”