I admired you from afar for years, and my secret way of saying so was by calling you Squid. I know it’s silly, but to me, it never was. I meant it each and every time I said it. I know that light might be dim right now, but I hope it will shine brightly again, especially for me.
I close my eyes and press it to my chest as tears run down my face. Wiping them away, I hop in my car and head back to my apartment. When “The Heart of the Matter” by Don Henley plays through my speakers, I tear up as he sings about forgiveness. Talk about a sign telling me what I should do.
When I step in my room, my eyes open wide at the sight of lavender roses covering every surface. On my bed is one single red rose with another note.
Please forgive me.
With all my love,
Wesley Delmont Knight
I cover my mouth, wanting to laugh and cry, just seeing the name I teased him about for years written on paper.
He’s trying, and it’s working. I pick up my phone but know it’s something I want to discuss in person. I know Chad doesn’t want me asking for help, but I don’t know where he’s staying, so I go to his room and knock on the door.
“Yeah,” he yells out.
I open it and stand there in silence, not sure how to broach the question. He grabs a piece of paper off his desk and hands it to me.
“Yes, I know what’s in your room. Here’s his new address.”
I reach for it, and he holds it firmly, making me look at him before giving it up completely.
He lets out a breath before saying, “Just go slow, okay? I believed him when he told me how he felt about you. I just worry that, with his upbringing, he can’t be what you deserve.”
I raise my eyebrows to him. “But he was exactly what you wanted all these years by your side. Don’t you think he can do the same for me?”
He lets go of the paper and nods. “Touché. Go.” He points toward his door.
I grasp the note in my hand and rush out of the apartment after grabbing my purse and keys.
When I get to my car, I open the paper and see it’s an address I don’t recognize as one of their friends’ apartments. After inputting it into my phone’s Map app, I drive the few miles to a condo on a residential street a little closer to campus.
I try not to worry about what’s about to happen, so I don’t overthink it. I just open the door and march straight to his condo.
As I knock, my stomach turns with anticipation. I hear movement inside and step back, giving myself space so I don’t do something stupid, like wrap my arms around him and kiss him senseless. We’re not there yet.
He opens the door, and instantly, my chest tightens. He’s dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt with his hat on backward. It’s so simple yet so sexy and so Wes.
We stare at each other in silence. I rub my lips together, and he holds out his hand to mine.
I look at it, not sure if I should take this olive branch just yet. When my eyes meet with his again, I take a tiny step forward, placing my hand in his.
“I’m so sorry,” he says.
“I’m not quite ready to forgive you,” I say after I take a deep breath.
“That’s okay. I’ll work every day to prove to you that I deserve your forgiveness.”
I take another small step closer. “You hurt me.”
“I hurt myself more. I’ve been a wreck without you. I never knew I was capable of love until you. You consumed my every breath. I’m not going to lie. It scared the shit out of me. I tried to ignore those fears, but when Chad started in on me, it was like I was ten years old again, and my dad was yelling at me. I closed down and just left. It’s something I’ll regret my entire life.”
My heart splits open, and I take one step closer.
He places his other hand on my face. “I promise I’m all in. I bought this place. I’m staying here, in Berkeley, until you graduate. I know you need a place to live next year. I hope I can earn your trust again, and you’ll move in here with me when you’re ready. But just know, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here, waiting and working to earn your trust back.”
I take that extra step and am engulfed in his arms. “I’m going to make you work for it.”
He moves a stray piece of hair from my face. “I have no doubt you will.”
“It’s going to take time.”
His lips brush against mine.
“We have all the time in the world,” he whispers.
“It might take that long,” I say as I fall into his arms.
He kisses me until my knees go weak, and he has to lift me up. I happily wrap my legs around his waist, where they should have been this entire time.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nicole and I sit in the stands of the baseball stadium, both anxiously awaiting our boyfriends. Being with Wes out in the open has been a dream come true. It’s taken Chad a little bit of getting used to, but he’s coming around.
Thankfully, Wes’s birthday was two weeks after we rekindled. There was no way Chad was going to let the day pass by without showing Wes some love, especially since he knew his parents would most likely forget, which they did.
We originally didn’t want to push the issue with Chad, so we made plans to stay at Wes’s new condo as a half-birthday, half–housewarming celebration. Matt, Adam, Nathan, and a few other guys from the team came.
When Nicole and Chad showed up, I noticed the way Wes stood up from where he had been sitting and bullshitting with Matt. His back was ramrod straight, and his arms were fidgety at the sides. I stood up as well and grabbed his hand, letting him know it was going to be okay. He squeezed back but kept his eyes on the front of the room.
Chad stood quietly. The music was blaring, but everyone was silent as we waited for this quick draw of who was gonna make the first move.
Nicole gave Chad a nudge as she cleared her throat.
He took the hint and held up a bottle of tequila. “Thought we could toast to the old man.”
Wes’s dimples made an appearance. “I’m only drinking if you’re drinking.”
Chad placed a hand in his coat pocket and took out a sleeve of disposable shot glasses. “Looks like we’re gonna have a few rounds.”
When they man-hugged, I knew it was the best birthday present Wes had ever gotten—his best friend and his acceptance. Wes has never been into material things, and having his best friend forgive him, I’m sure, made it the best birthday ever.
“Do you and Wes have special plans for Valentine’s Day?” Nicole asks from her spot next to me as we wait for the game to begin.
“Kind of. Wes’s furniture is finally getting delivered tomorrow, so we’re gonna have a Chinese food picnic on the living room floor. It’s pretty basic, but they have to be up early for practice.”
She groans. “Same here. We’re staying in too. Except I have this amazing rack of lamb recipe I’m excited to try.”
“Chad’s lucky he found a woman who can cook.”
“I’m pretty lucky too.” She glances down at the bracelet he gave her for Christmas and sighs. It has a charm with his baseball number—23—dangling off a gold chain.
“You never told me the turning point of how you went from friends to lovers. I believe Chad said, ‘That’s our secret, babe.’ ”