“Sometimes, the hardest part is picking up the phone.”
Her suggestion has me falling back against the chair and grinning. That’s exactly what I just did. I need to feel everything that’s going through me. I can’t suppress my feelings anymore. It’s time to face them head-on and go after what I want in my life.
If only it were that easy.
“I’m glad you called me. You know I’m here for you whenever you need anything.”
“Thank you, Laura.”
“Anytime, Wesley.”
We hang up, and I grab the box of my grandma’s stuff and head to my car. Knowing exactly what needs to be done.
Chapter Twenty-One
Stacey
Christmas was very interesting around the Brightmore house. Of course, I told Mom everything, and I know her heart broke for both Wes and me. She loves him like a son, and I know she would have loved to have him by my side. Having no clue where Wes was or who he was celebrating Christmas with made it even harder.
I broke down on Christmas Eve and sent him a text. When he never responded, my heart broke all over again.
Spring semester started a week ago, and I’ve been a mess every day. I keep finding myself searching for him on campus and then getting pissed off that I am.
Yes, I’m still living with Chad even though we’re down one roommate. I know he misses Wes just as much as I do, but for him, the hate is still very much there, so he can push through it more than I can.
I’ve been trying to keep my head down and my focus on my studies. Since Chad is busy with baseball, I’ve been spending more time alone in the apartment. I’ve tried to redecorate and remove any remembrance of Wes, but it’s no use. Everywhere I look, I see him or am reminded of us being together.
I’m making lunch when Chad and Nicole walk through the door.
Nicole smiles in my direction when she sees how red and puffy my eyes are. “You doing okay, girl?”
I shrug and close the fridge. “Just another day.”
“Come on, Stacey. It’s time to move on. I hate seeing you mope around here all day,” Chad says as he reaches for a glass and pours some water.
“Move on?” I ask in disbelief. “Maybe if you weren’t such an ass, I wouldn’t have to move on. This is all your fault, so how dare you tell me how I should be feeling.”
He sighs. “I told you, Stacey, I did you a favor.”
“Well, next time, keep your favors to yourself. I don’t need you doing any favors for me. It’s my life.”
“But you’re my sister. And I’ve said this a thousand times. He’s not a good guy when it comes to girls. I couldn’t watch him hurt you the way I’d seen him do to all the girls before you.”
I place my hands on my hips. “Oh, but it’s okay for you to hurt me? How does that make sense?”
“I’m not the one who hurt you!”
A sharp laugh escapes my lips. “Yes, you are! You’re the one who kicked him out!”
He points in my face. “Yeah, but he left. Don’t forget that.”
Nicole jumps in between us, trying to calm us both down. “Okay, Chad, that’s enough.”
“Are you still on their side?”
“I’m on both your sides. Trying to keep the peace here, remember?” She opens her eyes wide, silently saying, Don’t say another word.
He huffs and turns to leave the room. I instantly burst into tears, and she wraps me in her arms. Something she’s done many times since that fateful night.
“I’m sorry I keep putting you in the middle. That’s not fair to you.” I step back and take a deep breath, looking up to the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. “He’s right about one thing, you know?”
“Who? Chad?” she asks, tilting her head slightly to the side.
“Wes did walk away. He didn’t even try to fight for me.”
She places her hands on my shoulders. “Wes has been through a lot. Chad’s told me all about it. I think he was in shock. I don’t think it’s over between you two, and I know it’s not over between him and Chad. Friends like that just don’t stop one day and never look back. Everyone just needs time. Things will calm down soon. Don’t give up hope.”
Hope.
I don’t know what to hope for.
To hope that this pain will go away?
To hope that he’ll come back to me?
To hope that he and my brother will go back to the way they were and we’ll pretend all of this never happened? That I didn’t love him? That he didn’t love me?
There’s a knock on the door, so I quickly wipe my eyes, not wanting whoever is here to see me cry.
Chad exits his room and answers it. When I hear Chad yell, my eyes instantly shoot up, and I know in my gut who it is.
“What are you doing here?” Chad shouts out.
“We need to talk,” Wes says.
“I’ve said everything there is to say to you. I’ve spoken to Coach, and I told him I’ll do my best to be a teammate with you. But that’s all. You’re not welcome here or in my life.”
I stand just as I see Chad try to shut the door, but Wes stops him. “Please, Chad. You can’t do this. Please, just hear me out.”
“I’ve heard you out. I know exactly what was going on inside your head as you broke the one thing I trusted you with.”
There’s a pause, and I come around the corner to see Wes standing there with his hands buried deep in his pockets and his head down. When he looks up, his eyes instantly meet mine. I see his are red-rimmed and puffy. It pulls on my heartstrings, but I stay back.
He keeps his sight glued to mine as he speaks to Chad, “Please. Just hear me out. Then, I’ll leave. I’ll even quit the baseball team if you want me to. Just give me a chance. I know I’m not perfect. I’ve heard that my whole life. I just never thought I’d hear it from you.”
I watch as Chad struggles with what he just heard. Wes has been his best friend for most of his life. I know he misses having that connection, no matter what tore them apart.
To my surprise, his stubborn wall starts to fall, but he stands firmly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You have five minutes.”
Wes motions to enter our apartment, but Chad stops him. “I told you, you aren’t welcome here. Say what you have to say right here.”
Wes licks his lips and takes a deep breath before saying, “I know I fucked up.”
“Damn right you did,” Chad intervenes.
Wes pauses and nods, knowing he’s in for the battle of his life. “But I only fucked up when I walked away from this apartment without saying anything. Without standing up for what was going on.”
Chad aggressively steps a little closer to him. Wes doesn’t back down.
“I shouldn’t have lied to you.” Wes stands tall and holds his head high as he admits, “I had been seeing your sister for over a month. We wanted to tell you, but we were afraid you would act like this. We didn’t want you to find out the way you did, and I truly apologize for that.”
Chad steps even closer to him, getting in his face. “So, you’re apologizing for hiding it from me but not for—”