It’s expected that he wouldn’t speak to his dad or Lisa. They both call several times a day. Not together, well as far as I know. I told his dad he needs time. Probably a whole lot of time. Lisa, well I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t think that’s a relationship that’s ever going to be the way it was. He won’t speak to Aidan either, and he barely speaks to me. The only familiar thing he does is play his guitar. But now he stays on my iPad, which is little strange since he’s never really been into electronics. Every single day he’s on that thing for hours, it’s beyond annoying.
“He’s been like a zombie and I have no idea what to do. I can’t tell him I know how he feels, that everything will be okay. His dad cheated on his mother with his best friend, who she has a secret child by. Is that something you can get over? His family is destroyed. Now when I look at him I don’t see Chris or Cal,” I tell Helen. She’s been out of town since I arrived back in Chicago and it feels so good to be able to talk to her now.
“…and this may sound crazy, but whenever I leave the house I get this weird feeling that I’m being followed,” I tell her, laughing at the absurdity of it. “I think I may be starting to lose my mind,” I say, taking a sip of my coffee from the bistro in our building lobby.
“You’re not going crazy, Lauren. You have been under a lot of pressure and I commend you for holding up so well,” she says, squeezing my hand.
“What’s wrong with him? If Cal is his alter and helps him when these things happen, where is he?” I ask frantically.
“I believe that Christopher has shut himself down emotionally. He has dissociated himself from reality entirely. He’s locked Cal out. This is what I say when I mean that Cal and Chris are one. Even when Cal isn’t at the forefront of his conscious state he is always with Chris subconsciously. There cannot be a Chris without Cal, Cal without Chris. They both make up the man that you know and love,” she explains and I let out a deep breath.
“So what do we do? How do we fix them? He can’t be like this forever can he?” I ask anxiously.
“I need to see how far gone he is,” she replies.
“He told me he didn’t want to see or talk to anyone,” I tell her.
“If he’s not exhibiting any emotions then he won't exhibit anger, annoyance or frustration,” Helen retorts.
When we walk in Chris barely glances up us. His eyes remain on the TV that’s been stationed to Nick Jr. since I left.
“Hey babe,” I say cheerfully. He doesn’t say anything, as usual, only slightly nodding.
“Christopher, it’s so good to see you,” Helen says enthusiastically. When he doesn’t reply she picks up Caylen.
“Hi beautiful. I’ve missed you so much,” she kisses Caylen on the cheek.
“She looks so much like you, Christopher,” Helen says standing in front of him. He doesn’t say anything.
“I am sorry about what happened with your parents,” she offers, sitting next to him. He glances over at me before staring back at the television.
“I told you I don’t want to talk to anyone,” he says, his tone the same monotone it’s been since we stepped foot in our house. It hasn’t lowered or risen since.
“Lauren told me that but I knew that you’d make an exception for me,” Helen says playfully.
“What do you want Dr. Lyce,” he asks stoically.
“I came to see how you’re doing. If there was anything I could do to help you.”
“I don’t need any help I’ve never felt better. I’m completely fine,” he says, grabbing the remote beside him and turning the channel. The patience I’ve been holding on to these past two weeks is starting to wear thin.
“You’re not fine Chris!” I interject. Frustration outweighs the patience I’ve been holding on to by a thread since he started acting like this. He briefly glances at me but doesn’t say anything. Helen shoots me a warning glare and I let out a sigh as I sit on the couch opposite from them.
“How do you like Chicago?” she asks, changing the subject.
“It’s fine,” he says.
“Is there anything that you miss about being home?”
“This is my home now,” he says without missing a beat.
“Are you happy Chris? Does being with Lauren and Caylen make you happy?” she asks, and this is one question I’d love to hear the answer to.
“I don’t want to talk about them with you,” he says, getting up from the couch and walking to the kitchen and I follow him.
“Well, talk to me about it. Are you happy here, with us?” I ask him as he searches through the refrigerator almost like I’m not there. Since that night he treats me like a piece of furniture or something.
“I’m here,” he says casually.
“Are you?” I ask him, looking into his eyes. I wave a hand in front of him and he just steps around me and heads back to his seat in front of the television with his soda in hand. I shake my head and laugh at myself.
“Helen I’m not going to talk to you. You can go ahead and leave whenever you’re ready,” he says in that same indifferent tone that is making me want to scream.
“I’d like for her stay,” I say, annoyed.
“Whatever,” he says and takes a swig of his drink. He then sits next to Caylen on the floor and starts playing with her and her blocks.
“Lauren, I need to be going but I’m going to run and grab something from my car I have for you first,” she says getting up and walking to the door.
“Do you want me to come with you?” I ask her with a sigh.
“No it’ll only take a minute,” she says before leaving. I sit down on the couch my arms folded as I watch him live in a world that no one else is a part of—he won’t let me be a part of—at least he interacts with Caylen.
“I wish that you would talk to me,” I say aloud.
“I do talk to you,” he answers promptly. Which he makes sure to do, but he only answers when I ask him something, it’s like trying to bounce a stone off a brick wall.
“You respond to me. You don’t talk.”
“I didn’t know there was a difference,” he says, his attention on the wall he’s building with the little blocks Caylen plays with. He has enough walls up, if she wasn’t over there I’d go and kick it down. I’ve tried being patient, understanding and meek but I am at the end of my freakin’ rope with him. He can’t think that I’m going to live like this, with a robot, that’s what he’s acting like. He gets up he showers, eats, cooks, plays with Caylen, watches TV and plays his guitar, which he won’t even play in front of me. He goes in the guest room and plays and plays. He goes to sleep in the same bed with me but he doesn’t touch me. We’re in a humongous king-sized bed but we might has well have those little twins they show on the old TV shows—that's how far apart we are. I could live with Chris, I could live with Cal but whoever this is, I can’t do this. I thought Helen could help, but how can she help if he refuses to talk to her. A few minutes later my phone vibrates. Helen says to meet her down at the café.