“He won’t hurt her,” James said, his voice confident.
“But-”
“Manic will not hurt a hair on her head. I promise you all that!” he snapped, addressing Shay by his road name. “Do you really think I’d send my stepdaughter in there if I believed otherwise?” When no one else refuted his statement, James murmured into my ear, “We’ll all be right behind you. You just concentrate on Shay and getting him to calm down. Once he’s settled, I’ll come over and help get him on his feet, alright?”
“Okay,” but my voice came out more like a frightened squeak.
The bikers moved away from the doors as I approached, my stepdad moving a few feet behind me. I hesitated as my hand closed around the cool metal of the handle, and listened. I don’t know what I thought I would hear… screaming, maybe. Swearing. The crash of furniture or dishes and bottles. But it was eerily silent. Cautiously, I opened the door, and behind me, I could feel the presence of the Beasts move in, like a personal guard.
“Shay?” I called into the dark hall that led to the lounge. The lights were off, but at the end, through the narrow archway that led to the bar and seating area, I could make out the faint glow from the stained glass lamps that hung over the pool tables. As I took a step inside, the sound of glass crackled beneath my shoe, nearly making me jump out of my skin. I peered at the floor, trying to see through the darkness, but there were no windows in this hall, and the door had shut behind me and my stepfather, cutting off the outside. The only light came from beyond the arch leading into the lounge. Where the hell was the light switch? I took another step and there was more crackling glass beneath my feet. It hit me then, why it was so freaking dark in here… I was stepping on broken light bulbs. Someone had smashed them all. I shivered and slowly moved forward. As I drew closer, I could make out the faint sound of music coming from the stereo system, playing a song by Lord Huron over and over again…
I am not the only traveler,
Who has not repaid his debt…
I've been searching for a trail to follow again,
Take me back to the night we met…
I kept walking, and over the music and the crunching broken glass under my feet, I could make out the thud from the front doors as they opened and closed again, momentarily casting a small ray of light in the hall as more members followed us in.
And then I can tell myself,
What the hell I'm supposed to do…
And then I can tell myself,
Not to ride along with you…
Ahead, a chair suddenly flew across the room, soaring past my view of the entryway to the lounge, before I heard it crash into a table or something out of my field of vision. I stilled for a moment, but James clapped a heavy hand on my shoulder, reassuring me I wasn’t alone to face this horror. But when I took another tentative step forward, a sound pierced through the air… a cry that was strangled, so filled with pain, it brought tears to my eyes, blurring my vision.
I had all and then most of you,
Some and now none of you…
Take me back to the night we met…
I don't know what I'm supposed to do,
Haunted by the ghost of you…
Oh, take me back to the night we met…
“Shay?” I whispered when I made it to the entry. Cautiously, I peeked in and my mouth dropped in shock as I absorbed chaos that was the clubhouse lounge. Tables were tossed over, the wooden chairs were in pieces. There were broken glasses and dishes scattered in piles along the dark, panelled wood walls where they’d been thrown, and empty bottles of alcohol which had been flung carelessly aside. The air felt thick in the room, and smelled of liquor and cigarette smoke, which burned my nose. There was another smell, too, a sort of coppery scent. What the hell was that? James released me as I stepped in, my sneakers crunching over more broken glass, and my heart continued to race. I searched for a safe path to walk in amongst the debris, before scanning the room, searching… until I finally spotted him.
When the night was full of terrors,
And your eyes were filled with tears…
When you had not touched me yet,
Oh, take me back to the night we met…
“Shay…” I breathed as I took in the sad sight of him.
His back was to me. His black t-shirt ripped and tatted. I could see where he was bleeding in several spots on his arms and hands from the glass, and whatever else he had broken. He staggered sideways a little, falling against the bar with his hip, and his shoulders were heaving. He hadn’t noticed us yet. Another loud, broken wail filled through the room and I covered my mouth with my hands, tears sliding down my cheeks, as I felt the sound of Shay’s tortured cry rip through me.
“Shay!” I cried out to him.
He stilled at my voice and, moving so slowly it was like I was watching a movie in slow motion, he turned to face me. His eyes were red and puffy, but they were narrowed, filled with rage and pain, and tears streamed down his face. He had an angry, dark bruise on the left side of his jaw, and he was bleeding from a cut in his hairline. He was covered in sweat, and from the rips in the front of his shirt, I could make out more bloody wounds on him… most likely from fighting the other Beasts.
As he stared at me, I watched the hostility that had been rolling off of him begin to leak away, like the air out of a tired balloon. His lower lip trembled, his bleeding hands shaking, and more tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes. “Mina…” he choked out my name.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do,
Haunted by the ghost of you…
Take me back to the night we met…
I held my arms out to him, silently giving him an open invitation to come to me. I had no idea what to say to him. What could I say? This was beyond anything I felt capable of dealing with… and yet, it fell on my shoulders. It was my fault he was like this. I had to fix it. And the only way I could think of, was to let him know I would let him back in.
When my arms opened to him, he let out a strangled sort of moan, and stumbled towards me. I walked closer, aware of James and the others moving cautiously in the background as they entered the space, too, giving us a wide berth. Shay collapsed into my arms, and I mean literally. He sagged against me with all of his weight. I let out a soft, “Oof!” from the impact, and fell backwards to the floor, thankfully avoiding any of the glass and rubble, with Shay wrapped around me. He burrowed his face into my hair and dragged me into his lap, both my legs dangling off his thigh on one side. The blood from his hands seeped into my shirt as he held me, as if terrified I’d be ripped away. I brought my arms up around his back and held him, not caring about the blood that was now seeping into my clothes. I just needed him to be better.
“Shhh,” I whispered, just like my mum used to for me when I had nightmares, way back before we knew James and Shay. “Shhh, it’s okay… it’s okay, Shay.”
His whole body shuddered violently as he silently sobbed into my hair. I could barely see a thing past my own tears, which welled in my eyes until they finally slowly slid down my cheeks, soaking into his shirt along with his blood.