I felt both elated and guilty for standing up to Shay. I didn’t let him sneak his way back in after he’d done something so horrific. I thought I would have slept easy that night, comfortable with my decision, but instead, I lay in the dark for hours, listening for any signs that I was no longer alone in this house.
My eyes slowly opened to the golden light shining through the trees outside my window, and yawned wide. Rolling over, I checked my phone and saw it was nearly 11:00am. There were no missed calls. No text messages. I really hadn’t expected Eli to be able to respond today, but there was nothing from my mother or James. The fact that Shay hadn’t sent anything kind of shocked me. He never went too long without sending me a message when we bickered… then again, I guess this was our first major fight. Most likely he was off either beating the crap out of another helpless person, doing stupid security stuff for the club, or he had pulled an all-nighter with his friends.
So, I got out of bed, cleaned up, and dressed in a pair of tight light jeans and a tight grey long-sleeve crop top, then searched the house to see who else was home. I went upstairs and knocked on Mum and James’ door, but there was no answer. I opened it tentatively, unsure of what I would find (in the past I’d accidentally walked in on them in the middle of sex and had been traumatized from the sight), so I closed my eyes now and called out, “Mum? James?” When they didn’t answer, I pushed the door open more and flicked on the light to illuminate the dark space. Sure enough, Mum was there, passed out and snoring loudly from beneath the sheets. Well, that’s one mystery solved.
I thumped back down the stairs and, after a brief moment of hesitation, I knocked on Shay’s door. “Shay?” I called and opened it. The room was exactly how I’d left it yesterday, a complete mess from my temper tantrum. I guess he never came home. I closed the door and headed out to the kitchen.
As it was noon by this time, I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and cut up an apple to eat with it and sent Eli yet another text, apologizing and telling him that I hoped he was okay. It felt weak to just text him, but I doubted his family would want me to visit the hospital. I was debating about sending some flowers to him when I heard the approaching rumble of a motorbike. Jumping up from the table, I went to the window just in time to see James on his bike, peeling around the bend of our driveway. Alone.
I sighed heavily and took my empty dishes to the sink to wash. If I was being honest, I did feel a tad guilty about shutting Shay out last night. But my anger had overruled my empathy towards him then. Just as I was drying the plate, the front door burst open and James stormed in, his eyes wild and his salt and pepper hair a mess as he thumped across the room towards the hallway leading back to Shay’s and my bedrooms.
“James?” I whispered, eyes wide with shock. Why did he look so scared?
At the sound of my voice, he halted in his steps and spun about to face me, like he just realized I was there. He paused for just a second before suddenly lunging at me, wrapping his arms around my legs, and lifted me into the air so that I fell over his shoulder.
“What the heck!?” I shouted, my hands clutching the back of his worn leather jacket to keep my balance. He turned and rushed out of the house, grabbing my own leather bike jacket with his free hand on the way, and let the door slam shut behind us. “James! What is going on? Is everyone alright?” I cried, getting more freaked out by the second as he stomped back towards his bike.
“I’m taking you to the club,” he said and plunked me down on my feet.
“Why? What’s going on?” I asked, bewildered.
He tossed my jacket over my shoulders, slid my arms through the sleeves, and zipped it up for me, like he used to when I was little. “You need to get through to Shay…”
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head in frustration. Seriously? That’s why he came and grabbed me like a sack of potatoes and scared me half to death? Because Shay was feeling bitter? I almost spun on my heel to head back inside. “I don’t want to see-”
“Mina!” James’ sharp voice cut me before I could move, making me jump, my eyes widening from his bark. “Shay spent the night drinking and doing God only knows what. He stumbled into the club an hour ago and started trashing the place. We tried to get him under control, but he attacked a bunch of the members when we fought to restrain him. He’s completely fucked up.”
I shivered at his words. This was the Shay I wanted to avoid. “Well, I sure as hell don’t want to see him like that.”
James grabbed his helmet and carefully slid it on my head, clicking the strap into place. “He needs you, Mina.”
I shook my head, about to try to take it off when James gripped my shoulders hard and gave me a small shake, his expression desperate. “He’s been rambling about you since he arrived. You’re the only one that can reach him. Please… please, Mina.” His voice was tight. “I don’t want anybody else to get hurt, and if there’s one person who can reach him, one person he would never hurt, it’s you. I don’t want the guys to take more drastic measures to try to get him to calm down. It will only make it worse for him. Please.”
Shay was out of control… he was incoherent… he has been attacking people who were trying to help him. I felt a tightness in my chest as remorse flooded through me as James’ words repeated themselves again and again in my mind. Shay had been drinking all night and was now hopelessly lost and angry… this having occurred after I sent him away. Which meant this was my fault.
“I’ll come,” I finally whisper.
“Thank you, Mina.” James gives me a tight, quick hug. “He won’t hurt you. I promise. You’ll be safe.” He steps back, flips my visor down and gets on his bike, which has been idling this whole time. I carefully climb up behind him, wrap my arms around his waist as I’d done many times before, and we were off.
How the hell was I going to get through to Shay? I was freaking out inside, despite how confident James seemed to be about the idea of me being the only one who could reach him. I mean, I was the reason he was like this in the first place. If he saw me, wouldn’t he only become more violent? Would he scream at me and throw stuff around the room like he did when he fought with James or my mother?
We pulled up to the clubhouse and I stared in surprise at the sight of about ten members all gathered outside, like they were nervous about going in. Uncle Shawn was standing with a small group to one side, while a few others were oriented around the doors leading in, as if guarding it. It was led by Shay’s friends Gavin, Aron, Cody, and Leif, who were all clearly stressed to hell, judging by the way they clenched their jaws and fists, all while watching the front door with caution. When the members noticed James and I pulling up, most looked relieved, while a few others glared at my stepfather like he was to blame for everything.
But I had no plans to get into it. My own guilt was eating away at me and I needed to get in there and fix this. As soon as we stopped, I climbed off the bike and tossed James the helmet before striding purposefully toward the entrance. My heart was hammering against my chest to the point where I was sure the bone would crack. My palms were sweating, and my lip was quivering as I tried to slow my breathing.
“Sheik,” one of the older members, a terrifying looking guy named Cooler who had a long grey beard and weathered skin, practically shouted at my stepdad in disbelief. “Are you fucking crazy? You can’t send a thirteen year old kid in there,” he rumbled, clearly pissed off at the situation. I couldn’t blame him. I couldn’t even imagine what it looked like inside.