“Mina,” he gasped, “don’t ever shut me out again…”
Yeah, like I was going to let that happen anytime soon. Not after seeing this.
“Don’t,” he went on. “I need you. You’re the only good thing in my life. Please, don’t shut me out. Don’t deny me…” He clutched me harder, to the point where I almost couldn’t breathe. “Don’t leave me.”
“Where would I go?” I laugh nervously, trying to lighten the mood. When he doesn’t respond, I stroke his back, hoping to continue soothing him. “It’s alright, Shay. I’m here.”
“Forever?” he asked, one of his hands grasping the back of my neck in a weird, almost possessive sort of way, that only fed the fear building in me. I peered over Shay’s shoulder to see James watching us, his eyes hard and his mouth pressed into a tight line as though he saw something he didn’t like. But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he nodded to me, as though he had heard everything Shay had said, and wanted me to just agree so we could move on. So I did.
“Forever,” I promised.
Present Day
Mina: Seventeen Years Old
July
Shay drives me over to the clubhouse in James’ pickup, who, in turn, follows us on his bike. It’s close to noon now, and my hands are clasped in my lap tight as I concentrate on my breathing. It’s been so long since I’ve been back, so long since I’ve seen these people, and every shadow makes me jump. I feel like I’m being watched, that someone is hunting me, but I remind myself that it’s just the paranoia talking. Shay won’t let anyone touch me. I need to suck it up. Besides, I know it’s important to the guys that I go along with this.
Despite the fact James had made me waffles with extra whipped cream and berries for my birthday breakfast, there was tension in the air. Not anything to do with me, but between father and son. Shay lingered near me at all times, and I often caught him scowling at his dad, who glared right back. I can only assume they had some sort of disagreement this morning before I got up, probably something to do with the club. I was grateful they weren’t shouting each other down on my birthday, but it was awkward as hell. Maybe going to a familiar, public place and being around everyone else will help ease the tension.
So, I sit quietly in the passenger seat, blasting some old rock on the radio while Shay drives, looking completely at ease. I glance over at him, noticing how relaxed he seems. He even has a small smile on his lips… he’s happy. It’s almost weird seeing him like this. In recent years, I’ve become used to his scowl and mood-swings. But this past week, I’ve been trying to please him because I need him here with me while I battle my own demons.
“You excited?” he asks as we turn up the gravel road that leads to the security gates. Today, they’ll be locked up against the public, as my birthday will be a private event. During the week, or on days that they don’t have business, the Celtic Beasts open their lounge for civilians who want to come by for a drink or pub food. They aren’t allowed in any other part of the clubhouse, and they have to show respect to any member in a cut. If they don’t, they are banned for life, and that’s if they’re lucky.
“Yeah…” I mumble, playing with the lacy hem of my blue sundress. I can put a smile on my face for the guys’ benefit, but it’s hard to fake that enthusiasm in my voice. I’m not in drama class for a reason. I’m a terrible actress, and an even more terrible liar. I used to be good in the past when I tried manipulating Shay to get out of a sticky situation where he might have gotten mad at me, but lately, he’s become too perceptive and reads me like a book.
As if sensing the apprehension in my voice, he reaches over and gives my thigh a gentle squeeze. “It will be great. Like I said, I’ll be close by, and so will all the guys. You’re safe with me Mina.” I glance over at him, the sincerity in his voice reassuring.
I let out a low, shaky sigh and nod. “Okay…”
Shay punches the code into the panel at the gate and it swings open, allowing us to drive through, with James on our tail. We round the bend of the road, which is flanked by thick foliage, until it opens up to a large, unpaved parking lot, set before a large, windowless concrete warehouse that is the Celtic Beasts club. The outside looks the same as it always has, except the front door has been replaced with a heavier, metal looking monstrosity that gives the place an even colder, more unfriendly look than it had before. Honestly, it looks like a goddamned prison.
“The renovations are great. It looks like an entirely new place. It was in need of an upgrade,” he tells me as he parks the truck. The parking lot is full of bikes, trucks, and SUVs. Looks like everyone else is here already.
“Is that because you trashed the place so many times they had no choice?” I blurt out before I can stop myself. I slap a hand over my mouth and tense up, eying Shay out of my peripheral. But to my surprise, instead of snapping at me or chastising me for being a smartass, he just chuckles and shrugs, as though he agrees with my statement, and gets out of the pickup.
Sighing with relief, I follow suit, though a lot less gracefully as I carefully climb down on my good foot. Shay comes around and gets my crutches out for me just as James wanders over, a huge grin on his face.
“Come on, Baby Girl. Everyone is waiting!” The boys flank me, both ready to catch me as I move across the uneven parking lot to the front doors. As soon as I step inside, I’m assaulted with the scent of smoke and alcohol, but there’s an underlying finish that smells like new paint and cleaning products. The hallway leading into the lounge is the same as before, dark, with small overhead lighting, but the floors are now concrete with a shiny, resin layer overtop.
Ahead, I see the entry into the lounge, and the sounds of people talking and laughing echo down the hall. I’m so anxious at the prospect of seeing these men again, my hands slip a little on my crutches and I nearly fall forward. But Shay’s reflexes are so quick, he grabs me before I can really process that I was about to fall. Instead of straightening me up, he moves behind me, wraps his arms around my middle, and lifts me into the air so my legs are dangling, and starts walking us forward.
“Shay, I can walk.” I give one of his hands a smack.
He just smirks as we enter the lounge and announces with a loud, “Here’s the birthday girl!”
Everyone in the room breaks out into loud whoops and cheers and as I look around at all their faces, I’m hit with the memories of the last time I saw them all, and cringe a little with embarrassment. Not only are Uncle Shawn and Uncle Marty here (with their wives and kids), but so are all the old-timers I’d once been so close to and admired. Last I saw these men, they were… well… engaged in less than honorable circumstances. When I see the few sweet-butts that were roped into working, I recognize none of them, and breathe a sigh of relief. I didn't think I could handle seeing those women again after what happened.
At once, several teenage girls rush me, Kate leading the fold. All of them start talking at once, so I can’t discern a single thing they are saying.
“Ladies, ladies!” Shay hollers, laughing as he sidesteps them. “Let me get her settled on the couch first, alright?” He weaves us through the crowd, and as we pass everyone, they cheerfully greet us and wish me a happy birthday. When I’m settled on a silvery grey, leather couch at the back of the room, I can finally get a good look of the place. All I can think while staring around the space is that it is a far cry from the homey, warmer feel that it was before.