"I'm not really that disciplined," he said and took another bite.
"We could work on that if you wanted to."
Okay, this was getting weird. Why would Hal say that? What was it to him whether or not Rhett was disciplined? He was missing something, but what? This conversation had subtext, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"I assume that's why you chose me," Hal said slowly, studying Rhett intently.
Why he had chosen him? What was Hal talking about? He put down his muffin. "I'm not sure what you mean."
Hal frowned. "Okay, let's back up a little. I think we're not speaking the same language."
That hadn't been his imagination, then. "Yeah, I feel like I'm missing something."
Hal leaned forward. "Let me put it this way. Why did you agree to a date with me? What was it about me that appealed to you?"
Wow, that was pretty direct. Was that normal for a first date? How would he know? He had nothing to compare it to. "Uh, I don't know… Because you were older, I guess?"
"You like older men?"
God, he was digging himself a hole deeper than the Grand Canyon. How did he talk his way out of this? "I think so? Is that…a problem?"
"Forgive me for being blunt, but I'd assume you would have that figured out by now. Or did you only recently come out?"
"God, no. I've been out since high school."
"Then why wouldn't you know what kind of man you're attracted to? Are you exploring new kinks?"
Kinks? Where the fuck had that come from? And all of a sudden, it hit him. The nickname. Hal insisting on paying for him. The discipline part. He cringed, his stomach tightening. Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. And this was why he needed help with this whole dating situation. How on earth could he have made this mistake?
"You're a Daddy…" he said slowly.
"From your tone, I gather you've only just come to that conclusion."
Rhett buried his face in his hands. "I feel so stupid. Of course you are. I just… I never connected the dots."
"What did you think my name referred to, then? I would've thought SilverDaddy is pretty self-explanatory."
It would be to everyone else, but of course, Rhett, with his complete lack of experience, hadn't even considered that option. He and Levar called hot older guys silver daddy without meaning anything by it. Hell, they'd joked about the president being a silver daddy. If he'd shown Hal's profile to Levar or Henley or even Calix, they would've figured it out instantly. But he hadn't told Levar and had shown Calix only a photo. What an unbelievable cluster fuck.
"I'm so sorry," he said, feeling utterly miserable. "For wasting your time, for all of it."
Hal's smile was warm. "A date with a pretty boy is never a waste of my time."
That made Rhett feel only marginally better. "Thank you. But I'm still sorry."
"It's okay. We can just chat, right? No harm done. So tell me what you are looking for then, if not a Daddy…"
Rhett wasn't sure if it was the genuine kindness in Hal's eyes, but suddenly, he felt safe enough to tell the truth. "I'm… I've never done it." He dropped his voice. "Sex, I mean. So I guess I'm looking for someone to be my first."
Hal never missed a beat. "I can't tell you how honored I am you considered me for that. But it wouldn't be fair to either of us. I'm not looking for something casual…and you're not looking for a Daddy."
"Any tips on finding the right guy?" Rhett sighed.
Hal put his hand on top of Rhett's. "Yes. Don't settle. Don't make it something cheap you'll regret forever. Wait for the right man."
"I feel like I've been doing that my whole life, hence my predicament."
"Then wait a little longer. Trust me, you'll know when you've found the man who's deserving of you."
23
Even though he'd somehow managed to eat the sandwich he'd bought at the coffee shop, Calix hadn't tasted a damn thing. He'd been too busy watching Rhett. And his date. As much as Calix had wanted to dislike the man, it was hard to find anything to complain about, even to himself.
He was handsome, Calix couldn't deny that, and so far, he seemed to treat Rhett the way he should. His smiles were genuine, his interest seemed sincere, and nothing about his behavior or body language raised any red flags. And still…
Calix didn't like seeing him with Rhett. Yes, he wanted Rhett to find someone to be happy with, someone worthy of his attention, not to mention worthy of sharing that special first time with him. But somehow, this guy wasn't right for him, though Calix couldn't explain why.
Was it because the guy was so much older? No, he didn't care about that. Sure, when one partner was under twenty-five, it changed things, but at Rhett's age, the age difference didn't matter much.
It was just that… It didn't feel right. Rhett was special. So sweet and pure in a way that was hard to define. Calix wanted something better for him than some random guy he'd found through a dating app. With his background, his history, Rhett deserved someone who made his first time the most memorable experience ever.
Calix sighed and sipped his coffee. Was he making too big a deal out of the fact that Rhett was a virgin? Was he somehow adhering to that stupid notion he had ridiculed so often that virginity was something precious and special? That wasn't the answer either. Calix doubted he would've spent so much time thinking about it were it someone else. But with Rhett, it was…different. He was different. He triggered a protective instinct he'd never felt this strongly before.
Maybe he was being ridiculous. Getting way too involved in something that was none of his concern. Except he felt it was, and Rhett hadn't objected to his involvement even a little bit.
He frowned when the expression on Rhett's face changed from cautiously happy to sad, dejected. What had happened? Had his date said something rude? Had he rejected him? Then both men stood, and the older man gave Rhett a brief hug, then kissed him on his cheek. He shrugged on his jacket and waved at him one more time over his shoulder as he walked out.
Calix's heart ached as Rhett sank back onto his chair like a deflated balloon. He was at his table within seconds. "What happened, sweetheart?"
Rhett buried his face in his hands. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Did he reject you? Was he mean to you?"
Rhett merely shook his head, not meeting Calix's eyes.
"Rhett…"
"I can't talk about it. Not here. I can't."
Calix swallowed back his anger, which had welled up in him, even though he had no idea what happened. Rhett was upset, and that was enough for him to be furious. "Okay, sweetheart. Let's go back."
Rhett didn't say anything as he got up and put on his jacket, then zipped up. They walked out, and neither of them spoke a word as they strolled back to the White House.
"It wasn't his fault," Rhett finally said, and the sadness in his tone broke Calix's heart. "This was all me. I fucked up, but he was super nice about it."
"Fucked up how?" Plenty of options went through Calix's head, but none of them made sense. Not when the man had been so nice to Rhett, even saying good-bye with a hug and a kiss.