“Have you ever done or said something to him that might’ve angered him?” I asked, not wanting to hurt him as my words could’ve been taken as an accusation.
Luckily, Papa didn’t.
“If I had, I surely would’ve apologized to him the second I realized that I did. I love him, and he knows that.”
I knew too, and no matter what was going on between the two of them, or whatever the reasons for their fallouts were, I would never point a finger at either of them.
“We all have flaws. Some more than others. But we can’t make people change who they are just to accommodate ourselves,” I said quietly, squeezing his hand in mine.
“That’s right,” he replied with a smile, pulling me into a hug.
I hoped that Fennec didn’t hear our conversation, but even if he had, maybe it was best for him to hear it.
33
Hunting was exactly what I needed today.
After hearing Vespyr and Papa talk about me, I wasn’t in the mood to regard either of them while we walked deep into the forest.
I had gone back to sleep after I ate my dinner and didn’t bother waiting on the tea Ves made for me.
As angry as I was for hearing everything they said, I was glad they didn’t figure out what was really wrong with me.
Of course, there was something wrong with me.
I knew.
I’ve always known.
But it was nobody’s business.
Not even Mama when she dragged me to that fucking therapist when I was a kid.
Thing was, not even professionals could cure my brain.
It was hopeless, and no medication would ever make me feel like a normal human being.
I was long gone, and no matter what, they’d have to take me as I was.
“We should lay low for a little while. The claw prints haven’t been here for too long, and I’m sure that bear is still wandering around here somewhere,” I heard Papa say.
They were walking a few feet behind me, and when I stopped to look at them, Vespyr’s eyes were sad and confused.
She had tried to talk to me this morning, but I couldn’t get over her talking behind my back.
As close as she was with me, she was just as close with Papa.
And you hate that. You hate knowing she loves him as much as she loves you.
For once, I had to agree with the voices in my head.
“Is that okay or do you wanna go further out?” Papa asked me.
I didn’t care, so I shrugged.
“Let’s stay here for a while. The sun shining through the trees will keep us warm even without walking,” Vespyr said.
She was a smart girl, and she knew that trying to change my mood today wasn’t a good idea.
She was being careful with her words.
Good for her.
I turned my back to them again and pulled my shotgun to the front in case that bear chose to show itself right before my eyes.
Shooting it would definitely help me relax.
Shooting Papa would have the same fucking effect on you.
I shook my head at those words echoing in my mind.
Those voices could push me to do things I would probably regret, and by doing what they just told me, I would only hurt Vespyr.
Never my intention.
“See that?” Papa asked, but I didn’t turn to look at him. “A bear was climbing that tree. You can tell by the scratches up and down the trunk,” he explained to Vespyr.
“It’s impressive how well they can climb,” she said, keeping her voice low.
“Right? They start climbing when they are young. Helps them stay safe from predators, but they also like to look for food up there,” Papa explained.
Vespyr knew all those things, but she didn’t mind listening to him tell her everything again.
“Not much up there for them to feed on other than bird eggs in the winter.”
“That’s true,” Papa said, and finally, they were both quiet.
At times, just the simplest sounds bothered and overwhelmed me, causing me to lash out in the most unusual situations.
And sometimes, even their voices bothered me.
As if I was overly sensitive to them without wanting to be, and I blamed it all on my sick mind.
Neither of us moved or said a word, but when it was clear that the bear wouldn’t return to this spot, I started walking again.
“Fennec,” Papa called out, but I didn’t stop. “We should stay together,” he then added as I heard his footsteps follow me.
“Then move,” I growled, and sure enough, they were both following me.
A heavy sigh left Vespyr’s chest, but I didn’t turn around to see the frustration on her face.
She wasn’t happy with my behavior, but of course I didn’t care no matter how much I loved her.
I was an ass most of the time, and because of last night, she’d have to endure me being an asshole to her for a little while longer.
Until I decided not to be mad at her and Papa anymore.
It wasn’t fair the way he treated me today, and I was slowly starting to think that he had heard Papa and me talk last night.
Why else would he be mad at me?
There was a reason.
There had to be one.
As much as I wanted to know, there was no way for me to talk to him about it as he ignored me or glared at me as soon as I tried to approach him.
We had walked for hours, following the paw prints a bear had left behind in the snow.
But as fast as we were, the bear was much faster on its four paws so we decided to make our way back to camp.
“I have to pee,” I told Papa, reaching for his hand to stop him.
I couldn’t hold it in any longer, no matter how close to camp we were.
“Okay. Go behind this tree. And keep an eye out. Always do.”
I nodded and looked at Fennec, who had stopped walking to look back at me, and once I was hidden behind the tree, I heard Papa walk a few steps away so I could have some privacy.
It got quiet around me again, and I used this moment to collect my thoughts on how to handle Fennec.
He was obviously punishing me for what I said last night, and although I hadn’t meant to hurt him, it was still a bad idea to talk behind his back.
I would feel awful too, but ignoring someone instead of confronting them didn’t seem right to me.
It only caused more issues.
The cold was making it hard to pee, but I took my time, seeing as we were empty-handed anyway.
Papa would have to deal with eating rice for dinner again.
Luckily, there were still two boxes of it in his cabin.
“Shit!”
Papa’s voice was loud and filled with terror, and after pulling up my pants, I stepped back onto the trail we created to see what was going on.
“Fennec!”
I moved fast, following his footsteps in the snow. “Papa?” I called out, but I didn’t get an answer.
They were nowhere to be seen, but when I heard a loud thump and then water splashing, I turned to my right to see Fennec standing there at what looked like the edge of a cliff, and when I ran to him, I was shocked at what I was seeing.
“Oh, my God! Fennec, we have to get down there!” I cried.
Papa had fallen a few feet into a shallow river, and the sight of his left leg didn’t look good at all.
“Why are you just standing here?! We need to help him!”