However, today there is no patience to be found because today is the day, I finally see my girl. My beautiful brown-eyed girl. I don’t even care if she has nothing to say to me. I just want to look at her. Maybe if I’m lucky, she’ll let me hold her hand. It’s a stretch, but a man can dream, can’t he?
“They’re here,” Sunny says from the doorway of my room. Tearing my eyes away from the window, I turn to face her and watch as her eyes widen. “Whoa…you shaved.”
Instinctively, I lift the back of my hand to my smooth face and bite the inside of my cheek. It was an impulse decision I made last night. A feeble attempt to know the man who hides behind the shaggy hair and unkempt scruff.
“…is that a man bun?” Sunny questions, still gaping at me.
“Okay, enough,” I hiss, reaching behind me to pull the band from my hair. “I just thought I’d clean up a little. The last time Lacey saw me I was chained to a bed and looked as though I got hit by a Mack truck.”
She smiles at me and I feel my cheeks redden.
What a fucking joke.
“Ah, I see,” she replies. “Well, I’m sure she will appreciate your efforts.”
“Stop staring at me,” I growl, shaking my hair out as I close the distance between us. “It’s just hair.”
“Right,” she says and clears her throat. “Shall we?”
“Fuck yes.”
“There he is,” she mumbles. “I was starting to worry.”
“No need for alarm. Your tree hugging ways haven’t rubbed off on me,” I tease, draping an arm around her. The yoga loving counselor is starting to grow on me.
“We’ve got nine more months, Dominic,” she retorts as we exit the room side by side. Together, we walk down the hallway and make our way out of the housing section. Family visits are conducted in the main building and so, we cross through the garden, bypassing the pool and basketball courts. Arriving at the entrance, I drop my hand from her shoulder and reach for the handle on the glass door. Stopping me, Sunny wraps her hand around my wrist and I look at her.
“Before we go in there, I want to remind you that this isn’t about making amends. We’ll get there but you aren’t at that stage of your recovery just yet. Think of this as a progress report, a chance for you to share your goals with the people who support your recovery.”
“So, if I feel like telling Lacey, I’m sorry I shouldn’t?”
“You could but why don’t you think about all the times you’ve said it before. How many times have you apologized and not truly meant it? They’re just words if there aren’t any actions that follow. Do you really think she wants more words?”
Probably not.
“Share your progress. Ask how she’s doing. Keep it light.”
Blowing out a breath, I nod.
“Light,” I repeat. “I can do that.”
“Now, stop fretting,” she says, nudging me with her elbow. “Everything will be fine. You’re going to knock the socks off your bride once she gets a load of that handsome face.”
A chuckle escapes my lips as I pull open the door and step aside, giving her room to enter before me. Leading me to the family room, I watch as she picks up the phone and tells whoever is on the other end to send in my visitors. Anxiety claws at me and I start to pace the room. I’m fucking sweating like a whore in church all because I’m about to see my wife for the first time in a month. The door opens behind me and I swear everything stops.
My heart.
My lungs.
Everything shuts down as I turn around.
Jack is first to enter and the sight of him slowly kicks everything back into gear. His eyes rake over me and with his signature toothpick wedged between his lips, his mouth curves into a smile.
“Well, I’ll be goddamned.”
Relief floods me and I silently curse myself as tears spring to my eyes. I was so fucking worried he’d write me off for hurting his daughter and yet, here he is, smiling at me…looking proud. I swallow hard against the lump in my throat and look over his shoulder as Reina steps into the room. Unlike me, she doesn’t try to keep her tears at bay.
The last time I saw her she was lying in a hospital bed, fighting for her life. Schwartz had told me she woke up after the arraignment but had no recollection of the last ten years. He also mentioned she had made a full recovery, but I was so doped up on pain meds I don’t think it registered. But seeing her in front of me, crying and smiling, it sure as fuck does.
“God, it’s good to see you,” I rasp.
She brushes past her husband and hurries towards me. Quick to react, I open my arms and when she throws her arms around my neck, I hug her tightly.
Support.
I don’t deserve a lick of it, but I’ve got it in spades.
Reluctantly, she pulls back and stares at me.
“You look healthy,” she cries. “Peaceful.”
I smile at her.
“I’m working on it,” I admit and oddly enough it feels good to say that out loud.
“Reina, a hug is nice and all but you're staring at the man a little too long, if you get my drift,” Jack grunts, causing us both to let go of one another. She swats his shoulder and rolls her eyes as I look past the two of them, towards the open door.
“Where’s Lacey?”
My eyes dart back to them and I watch as Reina apprehensively looks to Jack for guidance. Meeting my gaze, he reaches out and lays a hand on my shoulder.
“Why don’t we sit down, brother?”
I lean away from him and glance at the door once more, hoping she’ll miraculously walk through it. That I’ve misread the pity in Jack and Reina’s eyes. My brown-eyed beauty doesn’t walk through the door and regretfully I drag my eyes back to Jack’s.
“She didn’t come,” I whisper disbelievingly.
“No,” Jack confirms with a sigh. “Have a seat, Blackie.”
“Don’t tell me to sit,” I hiss, forcefully driving my fingers through my hair. Gripping the ends, I try to process that she’s not there, but it feels like I’m suffocating. Like someone has ripped the air straight from my lungs.
“Dominic,” Sunny calls.
“I need a minute,” I say to no one in particular. Dropping my hands to my knees, I bend my head and draw in a deep breath.
In and out.
Breathe, Blackie.
Just fucking breathe.
Reina comes to my side and drapes an arm around my shoulders before shoving something in front of me with her free hand. Blinking through the wetness clouding my eyes, I focus on the object.
“She sent this,” she murmurs softly as I stare at the sonogram photo in shock. There’s no dot to be found on the grainy photo. It’s been replaced by the most perfect profile I’ve ever seen. There is a nose and there are lips and fuck, they’re so beautiful. I choke on a sob as I take the photograph from her. There are arms and legs too.
More beautiful.
“She’s gotten so big,” I rasp, lifting my eyes to Reina. “The last time I saw a photo I couldn’t make anything out.”
“We still don’t know if it’s a girl for sure,” she says.
“It’s a girl,” I assure her, looking back at the photo. Without thinking, I lift the paper to my lips and press a kiss to it. Lacey may not have come here today, but she gave me exactly what I needed. She gave me our daughter.