And there was too much to talk about to do it over the phone. It had to be face to face. I needed to be able to get a read on him. Body language told more than words could ever speak, and I needed to read his.
There was a slight breeze on the other end of the phone, making me think he was standing outside. “Sure. Do you want me to come and pick you up?”
“No.” It came out so fast there was no stopping it.
He couldn’t see Remy. Not yet. It wasn’t time. Hell, would any time be right? We had to talk first. I wasn’t ready for any of this. I wasn’t prepared to have my world turned upside down, not when Sumner had become home. Silent tears fell down my cheeks. Control was quickly slipping away, and the struggle seized my thoughts.
“Okay…” he drawled out, probably thinking I was crazy as fuck. “Then where do you want me to meet you?”
Pull your shit together. Mentally, I had to talk myself through this. Neutral territory. We needed to be in a place where we both felt safe. While I wasn’t sure how to define that for him, I knew the space that I could confidently handle the truth at.
“Do you know where Ryker and Austyn live?”
There was a pause. “Yeah.”
I didn’t know if I was relieved he knew the spot, or scared as hell that he knew where to meet me. Damn, I was a mess. “At the picnic table in the far corner of the pond. We can meet there.”
“Okay, but why there?” he asked, and it was a good question, but I needed to shut this down. My entire body trembled as the anxiety inside of me continued to climb higher and higher.
“I can explain it all when I see you at three.” My heart thundered in my chest, and sweat beaded on my brow. I could do this. I would do this.
My pace became sprints with how long my damn legs were stretching. My thighs burned from the continual movement. I had never been so on edge in my life. Not even the night I escaped my father’s home. We were actually going to meet. I was going to stand face to face with Remy’s father for the first time since her conception.
“I’ll see you then, Ensley.”
That name coming from him felt weird, but all I said was, “bye” and hung up the phone, tossing it down to the couch. As soon as the device hit the fabric, I rubbed my sweaty palm down my pants. Yeah, I was really doing this, and sheer terror gripped my insides.
While it was the right thing to do, I wanted to cover Remy up and take her away from all this madness. Expect, that wasn’t an option. We loved it here and had made it our home.
The truth shall set one free, but was there really freedom in the history I had? There were too many unknowns right now. But one thing was for damn sure, he would not take my baby from me. That I’d write in blood.
16
Micah
The water moved with the wind as the sun shone down, lighting it up. It was beautiful out here, but it also brought back memories of the times I’d spent here before I left. Funny how that felt like a lifetime ago, being here now.
There were two homes on this property. Austyn and Ryker’s centered in the land. Off to the side of that was Emery and Jacks’ place. Back when Ryker built this place for Austyn, he had the other house built for Emery so the two best friends weren’t too far away from each other.
Turning just a bit, I could see Emery’s place in the distance on the other side of the lake. Before leaving for the Marines, I spent time in her home, talking, laughing, eating pizza and what I thought was winning her over.
I’d wanted her to be mine, but looking back it was more of a ‘we were meant to be together’ crap. But we weren’t, and I wished I would’ve seen it then.
My childhood was spent with me torn inside. I remembered our mothers joking about us growing up and getting married. Part of me wanted that to happen and to have this Ravage family acceptance. I had this expectation with Emery that she was it for me and I for her without question or fail. Only I didn’t account for the individuals we had grown into. Nor, did I take the time to really analyze chasing some childhood dream versus what fit best in reality.
She hung the moon and stars for me. When she rejected me, it killed, but I couldn't say where I ended up was a bad thing. The Marines saved me in more ways than one. The man I was and the man I had become, neither were a fit for Emery the way Jacks was. I’d never tell him that, but now I saw it all clearly. Time away did that, gave me clarity.
It didn’t mean I didn’t think about her while I was gone because I did. Wondering if she was safe. If she was happy with Jacks. After a year or two, it finally felt as though I was over Emery. Sure, I’d always have a special place for her, but that ‘love’, if you call it that, just went away.
There was so much I’d come to put in perspective over the years. Emery was a major one.
She was this given in my life. A staple, a solid place to fall. Emery accepted me as the awkward kid who didn’t fit in and the rebel who rode in to stir shit up. No matter how bad I fucked up, Emery still looked at me with light. There was power in that. I didn’t understand it all then. Hindsight being twenty-twenty was the damn truth.
Sitting on top of the table, my eyes wondered from Emery’s and back to the water. I pulled out a stick of gum and began chewing it. There weren’t many vices out in the field. Unfortunately, smoking became mine for quite some time. Booze was never good while you were on duty. Smoking didn’t impair your attention. Not to mention, cigarettes were very easy to come by. That pull and first inhale always woke me up, no matter how fatigued my body was. The steady inhale and exhale of the nicotine calmed me in the most tense of situations.
When I got back stateside, I told myself I was going to quit, but quitting was proving to be a difficult task. Gum helped curb the cravings, but not by much. My fingers still twitched to have a smoke between them.
I had a stash in my SUV, and part of me wanted to go and bust into it, but I didn’t.
All I wanted was to keep my mind off the fact that Cyrus was coming. Cyrus. Fuck me. And she’d changed her name to Ensley. There had to be a hell of a story there. How in the world did she get to Sumner, Georgia? How did she know the Ravage MC? Who was Ryker to her, considering he was the one who gave the order to keep me back from going after her.
Of all the places she ended up here? How was that even possible?
Hearing her coming up the drive, I turned my head as she parked her Impala and got out, shutting the door behind her. She was still as beautiful as I remembered with her long red hair, but this time it looked as though she colored it, giving it a darker appearance. She had on jean shorts and a tee that fit her very well. It was nothing flashy, but it caught my attention.
Her hands clutched around the keys so tight her knuckles were white. She had a look of dread or fear, and that wasn’t what I wanted to see on her face. Better yet, why would she fear me? Our night together was fantastic. She had no reason to feel as though I’d hurt her in any way.
I hopped down from the table and met her halfway.
“Hey.”
She gave me a small, sexy, smirk and her beauty hit me like a punch to the gut. The thing about her was she didn’t know how beautiful she was. I could tell that by the way she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Hey, yourself. Come on.” She walked to the table that I’d just vacated, hopped up on the top, and faced the water. I joined her, leaving a bit of space between us. Sure, I’d kissed and licked every part of her body, but that didn’t mean she would be open to going a second round. She was here, and I wasn’t going to push my luck. Instead of inviting, she looked like she was going to jump out of her skin at any given moment. She reminded me of a scared jack rabbit, ready to scurry away at any given time.