“She’s mine,” she said defensively, like a lion protecting her cub. That I could appreciate, but I’d never take Remy from her mother.
“I know she is, and I’d never take her away from you, Ensley. But I would like to meet her and be a part of her life. I want to add to it, not take anything away.”
“You do?” she asked, surprised eyes glassing over with unshed tears.
I reached out and embraced her hands, holding them to my chest. This caused her to lean into me just a bit. “Yes. Absolutely. I may not have known about her until a few minutes ago, but she’s mine too. And I already love her.”
Maybe I should’ve demanded to know the child was mine and get a DNA test, but there was something about Ensley’s honesty that I couldn’t ignore. Not to mention, why in the fuck would she spring this on me now if she never intended on telling me in the first place? She could’ve just lied, saying that Remy was from a previous relationship.
Like it or not, I was officially a father to a two-year-old girl, and I had no clue how to be one. Yes, my dad was a good dad. We butted heads a lot, but he was a good man. Hopefully, I’d learned something from him on this? Or maybe there were classes or YouTube videos. Something. Anything at this point.
“It has to be slow. I’ve never talked about you to her. She’ll have no idea what’s going on. So we start with you meeting up with us as my friend. We do not tell her that you’re her father until I’m ready. Do you understand?”
Demanding thing and so damn fierce. I loved that. Her protective streak for her girl was unprecedented. It was another reason I knew Remy was mine. This woman in front of me would die before hurting that little girl. She wouldn’t bring me into the fold if she thought I’d cause Remy harm.
Our girl. While part of me wanted to jump with both feet in, I knew that if I didn’t go at her pace, there was a real chance she’d cut and run. Ensley couldn’t run. She had Remy, and I didn’t want either of them going anywhere.
“We’ll go slow. I’m not here to fuck up your life, Ensley.” It felt weird calling her that, but I needed to get used to it so I didn’t slip up. “Just want to know my daughter.”
I could tell this was hard on her. It was written all over her face.
“Right. Your parents, Micah. I’ve known them for a while now, and they know Remy well. But I want to wait to tell her that they are her grandparents until she gets to know you better. She’s young, but that doesn’t mean that she won’t be confused as hell with all of this.”
My hands squeezed hers that were still on my chest. She’d made no attempts to move them, and I made no attempts to push them away. “I’ll talk to them, but let me tell ya, once my mom finds out she has a grandbaby, it’ll be hard as fuck to keep her away. I’ll do my damnedest, but know that they will want to hang out with her more and spoil her rotten, even if they can’t tell her yet that they are Grandma and Grandpa.”
That was the honest as hell truth. My mom loved me with everything inside of her. Knew it, and she never let me forget it. Remy would be the same way with her, maybe even more since my mom would love having a baby girl.
“This is going to be an adjustment for all of us. I get it. I just don’t want to freak Remy out. This’ll be a lot. Hell, it’s a lot for me,” Ensley said with a small smile tilting the right side of her lip.
You and me both. Fuck, I was a father.
17
Ensley
My heart thumped in my chest so fast it threatened to jump out and take off on a marathon. Micah was being really cool with all of this, but I knew all too well how things changed on a dime, spiraling out of control. I couldn’t let that happen to Remy. She was innocent in all of this.
I’d spent all night coming up with a game plan of what would be best for Remy. Just tossing her into ‘here’s your daddy’ wasn’t an option.
Slow and steady. That was how we had to approach this. I was terrified enough. It would be the best for both of us. Deep in my gut I knew he’d want to be a part of Remy’s life, having spent so much time planning, but not as much in the telling him he was a dad portion.
“I know there’s a lot to go over, and we need to get to know one another.” Micah squeezed my hands, then let them go as he came to sit next to me on the table. “But believe me, we will.”
He sounded so confident and assured. Like he knew who he was as a person in the world. As if he snapped his fingers and whatever he wanted would be. He was so different than the men back home. Hell, he was in another realm compared to them.
It had been a long time since we’d been together, but no way would I ever forget it. It may have been once, but it helped me get through some rough times. When I put my focus on the baby growing inside my belly, I’d think of his brown eyes and hope that Remy would get them, and she did.
“So you’re really Ryker’s cousin, huh?” he asked, and I could feel my lips tip. I liked that he was letting this part lay for a bit, giving us both a breather. He seemed to know what to do at the right moment.
“Yeah. Can you believe it?”
“Nope,” he said on a chuckle, leaning into me and bumping my shoulder in a playful touch. It was nice having him close. Safe. Comfortable. Free.
“Yeah. Ryker’s dad and mine are brothers. After my dad found out about Remy, he was beyond pissed. So angry he scared me silly. When he told me what he had planned for my little girl, I had to get out. There was no other choice. Luckily, Ryker took the three of us in and set us up.”
“The three of you?”
Never did I think I’d be sitting here in this beautiful spot talking to the man I’d spent the night with all those years ago about my past. I didn’t talk about it, rather wanting to forget it even happened. But here I was, pouring it all out. “My older sister Katie came with us. She’s my rock and best friend. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. She helps me with Remy and watches her when I work. It’s worked out well, which I’m completely grateful for. Even though at the time Remy was in my stomach, she was the main reason for every choice and decision I’ve made since finding out about her.” Protecting my baby was my number one priority.
He switched up the subject by asking, “Where do you work?”
It felt as though this was our first date or something, but I had to remind myself this wasn’t some matchmaking perfect man finding thing. He wanted to know about me so he could know his kid. I got that and needed to keep reminding myself apparently. This wasn’t a damn date. It was reality. My new reality. No matter how handsome the man was, my mind needed to stay focused on the end game.
“At Carrigan hospital. I’m an intake clerk.” The knot in my chest started to loosen just a touch. It was nice of him to get rid of the heavy for a while. Again, it was like he knew I needed a small break and gave it to me without a word.
“Around all the sick people, huh?”
I chuckled. “You have no idea. You haven’t lived until a drunk guy comes in and pukes all over your desk and computer, including the keyboard. That was exciting to clean out. Fun times, I tell ya.” That was not a fun memory by any means. It made my stomach queasy just thinking of it.