I didn’t blame them. They didn’t understand, and the ones that did acted like they didn’t. After my parents died, I wanted to stay home and mourn them on my own. Just because I cut everyone off, it didn’t mean I was depressed; it just meant I was dealing with their deaths on my own.
It just sucked that around that time was when Gigi started partying more. She was the only person I didn’t mind being by my side, but I understood she had her life.
I couldn’t blame her for that. I just wished she’d stop trying to make my life like hers.
Putting on some cutoff shorts and one of my brother’s old football t-shirts, I left my room. I didn’t feel like going in the water, so no swimsuit for me.
“Hey, I’m going out with some friends to the lake,” I told my brother, who was in the kitchen trying to make some food.
“Who’s picking you up?”
“Dylan,” I replied immediately.
My brother made a face. “Why can’t Gigi pick you up?”
“She’s with Gavin.”
“Why can’t you ride with them?”
My brother wasn’t oblivious, but since we both got our world ripped apart, we understood there were more important things to life.
“Because they are together. Chill, you have nothing to worry about with Dylan.”
“Call me if you need me, and be home by midnight.” Nick pointed a finger at me.
I meant it when I said I’d told no one about Dylan, and that included Nick.
“Okay…and Nick.” I stopped before I left the condo, making sure I had my brother’s full attention. “You should go out with your friends.”
Nick made a puzzled face as I closed the door. Even though my brother was older by five years, he was still very young. I knew he had the world on his shoulders, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still go out there and try. Because the thing about burdens is, they don’t go anywhere; they’ll always be waiting for you. So might as well take the escapes as they come.
“Do you want to fuck off everyone else and just go do something else?” I asked Dylan as soon as I got in his car.
“Do what?”
“I don’t know, what do people who don’t hang with us do?”
“Bitch, if you don’t know, how should I?” he said as he looked at me. “Fuck, I’m supposed to pick Audrey up tonight.”
I liked Audrey. I was kind of close to her, but I stopped taking her calls after my breakdown last year.
“Scar,” Dylan said. “I think she wanted to hang with you. That’s why she asked me to pick her up.”
I sighed, leaning back in the seat. I needed a fun night, and going to the lake was not what I had in mind. I didn’t want to look at the people who pretended to care, and I didn’t want to see them together. I just wanted one night to forget.
“Let’s get her.” I gave in.
Audrey lived in the nicer part of town. I looked at her huge house, and I closed my eyes because it reminded me of poms. Thinking about dancing made me think about my mom. All the practices, events, fundraisers, she took me to them.
It didn’t take long for Audrey to come out. She smiled at both of us and ran to the back of Dylan’s car.
“I’m surprised you picked me up. To be honest, I thought you guys would ditch me.” That was just like Auds to be brutally honest.
“How bad do you want to go to the party?” Dylan turned back and asked.
“I don’t care what we do; I just don’t want to be home.” She shrugged.
Dylan and I both looked at each other at the same time.
“Target!” we shouted in unison.
Audrey moved her hand forward, as if telling us to go for it. It was too late to go to the mall, but Target had everything, and we could find what we needed and make it a night.
An hour and a half later, we walked back into my empty condo with pita chips and taco hummus dip. Beause we had to keep it healthy.
“Gigi’s going to be pissed you bailed on her,” Dylan said.
“Gigi is my best friend; she’ll understand,” I responded.
To which Audrey made a face. I was tired of fighting with her about how Gigi was a good best friend.
Dylan looked at me with his eyebrows raised because he knew Gigi wouldn’t understand. Sometimes I felt like she didn’t understand me at all anymore. My parents’ deaths had changed me, but sometimes I felt like it also changed her.
There was knocking on my door, and I wondered why I heard it closer since my room was at the end of the hall.
“Is everything okay?” I heard my brother ask.
I didn’t care. I burrowed deeper into the warmth that surrounded me.
“Damn, no wonder you two were a no-show last night.” I groaned at Jordan’s voice.
Opening my eyes, I saw him going to take a seat on the sofa next to where Dylan and I had fallen asleep. It was just the two of us since Audrey’s parents had blown up her phone and she had to go home. Since it was late, Nick had taken her home. Best brother ever.
Forcing my heavy lids to stay open, it took a second to notice Gavin standing in my living room, looking at Dylan and me.
“Hi,” I croaked.
Gavin didn’t reply. His eyes trailed over my face, then went up to meet Dylan’s face and then back down to where I was wrapped in D’s arms.
“We got worried when you didn’t show last night.” His voice sounded scratchy, like he needed water, and I wondered if he was hung over.
Untangling myself from Dylan’s arm, I sat up. We always kept the condo cool, and I was wearing a hoodie over booty shorts. It looked like I wasn’t wearing anything underneath.
“This keeps getting better and better,” Jordan hooted.
I glared at him before my brother could come out here and think I had lied to him about not worrying about Dylan.
“I’ll be right back.” I ran to my room to change.
On my way there, Nick was coming out of his room.
“You’re leaving?” I asked.
He couldn’t leave me alone with Gavin.
“We have no food, and the guys want to run a few of their plays by me.”
“Can you get—”
“Sour cream Pringles,” Nick finished for me.
I smiled at him and went to my room to look for some pants. As I changed, I didn’t let the fact that Gavin was in my house get to me. He was Gigi’s boyfriend; he would never be mine.
Once I was changed, I turned around, ready to meet the guys in the living room. As soon as I opened the door, Gavin was right there.
“Can I help you?”
“Just using the bathroom.”
I pointed to the bathroom across the hall.
Gavin grinned at me and pushed his way into my room. Damn, he smelled nice, and he was tall and lean, his presence taking over my tiny bedroom. He walked in, dissecting everything he saw. His fingers traced the light gray walls to the black-and-white posters of old Hollywood actresses.
For a moment, I wondered what would it feel like for those fingers to trace my body. My cheeks warmed, and I was glad no one could read my mind. Gavin made his way to my bed and sat down. His elbows were coming to his knees, and his gray eyes were looking straight at me.
Shit. He couldn’t read my mind, right? When I started to fidget under his gaze, he smiled.