But instead, I kiss this incredible, remarkable man in front of my parents, and I don’t care one bit what they think.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kirby
* * *
At the start of the season, the IceCats Foundation holds a breakfast for the team so we can sign a bunch of stuff to be auctioned off throughout the year. It’s our first home game of the regular season, and I’m excited to show off not only for the fans but for Jean, Celeste, Jaylin, and her parents. As nervous as Jaylin was for me to meet her parents, I have to say, it went pretty damn well. I think they like me, or at least respect me, and they know that my intentions are true when it comes to Jaylin. I love her. And she loves me…but that doesn’t mean she’ll share my bed.
I’m disappointed in myself for being so bothered by it. I hate thinking about it, I hate trying to figure out why, and most of all, I hate that I can’t help her feel comfortable enough. I have to be patient, and that’s even more challenging since I know she’s overthinking this. How can she tell me she loves me but not be comfortable enough to sleep in my bed? It makes no sense to me whatsoever, but I have bigger things to worry about.
One of which is that I’m sitting at a table with the Three Musketeers, Nico, and Chandler. Unfortunately, one of our forwards got hurt during a preseason game. However, that means Dart gets to stay and play. Or Evan. I’m not sure who actually made the cut, because when Evan is on, he’s on. But when he’s not, it’s a shitshow. He sits beside me, signing a stack of pucks, and I push my elbow into his bicep to get his attention.
“How’s it going?”
It being therapy.
He nods and even smiles just a bit. “Really good. I’m actually volunteering for a study about athletes with anxiety down at the university,” he says in a whisper so that the other guys, who are loud and laughing, don’t hear him.
“Wow, that’s great. Maybe I’ll sign up.”
“Yeah, that would be cool,” he says, but I don’t think he realizes I’m serious.
“Do you feel any better?”
He shrugs. “Not really, but I started some medication. It hasn’t started working yet, though.”
“It could take up to two weeks, I think they say.”
“You’re right, so I’m just waiting it out. I am using some of the coping strategies they have given me. Some help, some don’t.”
“You gotta find what works for you,” I say, holding his blue gaze. “For me, it’s a lot of self-assurance and affirmations.”
“I feel like an idiot,” he admits, and I shake my head.
“You’re not. You got this.”
He gives me a small smile before passing the pucks to me. I hope he figures this out, that the help he is getting will actually help. I like him a lot; he’s a great kid, and I don’t want him to let his anxiety win. There was talk of him going back home, to finish college and maybe come back later, but I don’t think he needs to do that. He can do this. He’s ready. He just has to strengthen his mental game. In this sport—or hell, any sport—I’m finding that’s just as important as knowing how to score.
“How’s it going with the baby mama drama?”
I look up at Chandler’s question. I shake my head, annoyed. “Not too good. Ex is trying to push it back until December. Word is she’s coming to the next court date to ask for that. But hopefully she doesn’t show and the judge will see she’s a POS.”
Chandler looks just as annoyed as I do. So does everyone, honestly. It’s really special to have support like this. Lord knows I need it.
“I wish they’d just give you custody. Celeste is really happy and doing well with you,” Owen says, and I nod in agreement. “You’re a great dad.”
“Yeah. Hell, Jaylin is more a mom than her real mom,” Dart says, and I grin.
“You’re right.”
Nico looks over at me. “She’s good with Celeste?”
Dart scoffs. “She’s awesome.”
“Yeah. She really is like her mom. I think she’s better than Jean,” Evan says, and Owen nods.
“She runs that house when she is there,” Dart says, and we all chuckle. How can Jaylin not see she belongs in my house with us?
“Though, since Jaylin is off the table, I’d really like to holler at Jean,” Owen says, and I set him with a look.
Before I can say anything, Dart pipes up, “Dude, I get her first. She’s so thick. Hot damn.”
“I will use each of your testicles to practice my shot. Stay away from Jean. She’s off-limits,” I remind them both, and Chandler and Nico laugh as the boys pout.
Evan smirks. “She’s too good for y’all anyway.”
I chuckle along with him as the boys glare. “Whatever,” Dart mutters as he hands off a guitar to Evan to sign. “How is the beautiful Jaylin? We haven’t been invited over this week.”
“Because you hit on my girlfriend—and my nanny,” I remind, but he doesn’t seem the least bit guilty. “But we’re good.”
“In love yet?” Owen asks, waggling his brows.
I can’t contain my grin. “We are.”
The guys all razz me, but it’s out of fun. “So, when’s the wedding?” Chandler teases, and I grin.
“As soon as she lets me ask,” I say simply, and Nico gives me a look.
“Lets you? What’s that mean?”
I don’t know why I said that. My happiness made my tongue loose, and now I have five pairs of eyes on me, waiting for an explanation. I shrug. “That came out wrong. I don’t mean when she lets me. It’s more, we’re trying to get past a huge independence issue.”
Dart shakes his head. “That’s why you don’t go for super-successful chicks. They don’t need you.”
“I’d rather her not need me than only want me for my money,” Evan adds. “Plus, strong, confident women are hot.”
I hold up my fist to him, and Evan taps his to mine. “Exactly.”
“But a no-success girl with daddy issues is way hotter,” Owen says, grinning.
We all look at him, even his buddy Dart, who slaps him on the chest. “Your mother would be disgusted.”
Evan points to Dart. “What he said, and I’m so telling her.”
“Asshole,” Owen calls over to him, and we all laugh at their bickering.
“What’s the issue?” Nico asks, and just like that, the laughter is gone. Once again, everyone is looking at me.
These are my friends, and maybe they can give me advice. Or maybe they’ll judge us. I don’t know what to do. Also, could she get upset if I say something? Shit, I don’t know. I need help here. “She’s never slept at a man’s house or lived with a man.”
Chandler raises a brow, as the young children who probably have never been in a relationship look at me like I’ve grown another head. I have no clue what I was thinking, opening my mouth.
“She doesn’t want to sleep at your place? I have to push girls out the door, they don’t want to leave,” Owen says, grinning like a fool.