“I know, but my plane just got in. I didn’t know where else to go, so I came here.”
“Why? This isn’t your home, never has been your home.”
“No. But my daughter is here,” she snaps, and I swear, the way his shoulders recoil, it’s as if she hit him.
“Your daughter? Please don’t make me laugh. You gave up that right when you left her here and then refused to come back for court for months.”
“That’s the past, Kirby. Move forward.”
“Oh, I have. Without you, and my daughter has done the same.”
“Whatever. I want to see her.”
She tries to step forward, but he moves so she can’t get in. “No. She’s sleeping. You need to leave.”
“Are you being serious right now?” she asks, with the audacity of someone completely entitled.
“Yes. I don’t know who you think you are, coming to my home and acting as if you’re going to waltz right on in and see my child. Guess again. I’ll see you in court.”
“I want to see my daughter,” she demands, and I don’t know why or even if it’s the heavens, but Celeste wails from her room. “See? She hears me,” she says smugly.
“Or her stuffed animal fell out of her hand,” I correct as I head for Celeste’s room.
“Who the fuck is that?”
I have to take in a deep breath to keep from screaming, “I’m the woman who has been there for your child when you haven’t.” Instead, I know it’s true when Celeste sees me. She’s crying, holding to the rail as she jumps up and down, and right away, I see that her plush IceCats cougar fell out of the crib. She has a habit that right when she falls asleep, the toy slides down her arm and between the slats. I pick it up and reach for her, and she comes eagerly into my arms. She nuzzles her nose in my chest as I carry her to the rocking chair, kissing her forehead.
“Doesn’t matter who that is,” I hear Kirby say as I rock Celeste, giving her the rest of the bottle Kirby left on the dresser so she’ll calm down. I want to advise Kirby that it isn’t good to get into it with Lilly. That he needs to ignore her. But I need to be with Celeste.
Because I don’t think I can ignore Lilly if I go back out there.
I don’t even know her, and I despise her. How could anyone not want to be a mother to this beautiful angel? She isn’t even my blood, and I want her. I run my knuckles along her sweet cheek, admiring her, and I find myself wanting to be there for every major life accomplishment. First steps, first birthday, and all the rest. I want to be in her life, and I want to give her a strong female presence.
I want to be her mom.
“It does matter if she’s around my child,” Lilly throws back, and Kirby laughs.
“I don’t have to give you the same courtesy when you didn’t give it to me. When you got that new boyfriend and I asked to meet him before you brought him around Celeste, you ignored me. Shit, you had sex with him, with my daughter lying in the bed with you two.”
“Oh Jesus, Kirby. I knew you were going to bring it up. Let it go. Celeste was sleeping.”
What. A. Fucking. Cunt.
“Doesn’t matter. I don’t appreciate it. I didn’t know who he was, and he’s fucking you with my baby beside him. That’s disgusting.”
“You’re just jealous!”
He laughs. “For me to be jealous, I would have to want you. That hasn’t been the case in a very long time.”
“Which is why I had to go elsewhere to get attention.”
“No, you went elsewhere because you like to sleep around.”
“Oh, you were too. Don’t deny it.”
“Never. I tried to make what we had work for Celeste’s sake. You did not.”
“Whatever. We both know she came between us. You were so hung up on her, you didn’t want me. I wasn’t good enough. No one ruined this but you!” I know that’s going to fuck with Kirby’s head. He doesn’t like to fail. I don’t think what she said is true, though. From what Kirby told me, Lilly was always cheating on him. I know I’m hard to forget, but he wouldn’t have given up on them. Because of Celeste. He wants his daughter to have a family.
Am I standing in the way of that?
“Leave her out of this,” Kirby demands, his voice full of emotion. “You didn’t want me or Celeste. But really, Lil, none of this matters.”
Why does it bother me that he called her Lil? It’s a nickname. Who cares? But it seems intimate to me. I look down at Celeste as she falls asleep, thankfully unaware of the fact that her parents are arguing over her.
“It does matter. It’s bullshit. We could be a family!”
My shoulders fall as I close my eyes, pressing my nose against Celeste’s forehead, taking in her sweet smell. Kirby is outraged as he yells, “Lilly, no. You’re being insane, and I don’t get it. You have a life somewhere else. You don’t belong in this home with me and my family. Go. We have nothing else to discuss here. I’ll see you next Thursday in court.”
“No. I want to try again!”
Really? What. The. Fuck.
“Absolutely not. Where is your boyfriend? Did he dump you? Or wait, did you cheat on him? Because if you thought you could come back and live here, you’ve got another thing coming!”
“Where am I supposed to stay?”
“Don’t know, don’t care. Just not here.”
“You told me you’d put me up.”
“No. I said I would pay your way here. That’s it.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No. What’s not fair is that you’ve put me through hell with court fees and lawyer retainers. What’s not fair is that you haven’t been there for Celeste! That you cheated on me over and over again and made me feel worthless. That’s what’s not fair. So please, go fuck yourself and get the hell off my property.”
When I hear the door slam, my heart starts to kick up in speed. Celeste somehow fell asleep in the middle of Kirby’s yelling, so I lift her and carefully carry her to the crib. I place the bottle on the side of the bed and lay her on her back. When she becomes a bit restless, I put her pacifier in her mouth, and she settles quickly. I make sure she is free of toys, pushing them to the end of the bed before turning to find Kirby in the doorway.
“Is she okay?”
I nod. “Fine.”
He moves out of the way as I step out, shutting the door behind me. I walk past him, feeling his gaze on me as I head into the kitchen, grabbing my wine. My heart is still beating uncontrollably in my chest, and I am so confused.
“Sorry about that.”
I shrug. “It’s not like you knew she was coming.”
I turn to face him, and he looks like he just came out of a battle. “I hate dealing with her.”
“I can tell.”
“You’re acting weird,” he says, calling it as he sees it. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” I say, waving my hands around. “I mean, her saying she wants to be back in your life and wants Celeste really rocked me. I thought we didn’t have to deal with her.”
“Who’re you telling? I can’t stand her, and I don’t know who she thinks she is, wanting to come back.”