Our gazes lock, and I don’t see this going well. It’s one thing to be with someone who doesn’t have baby mama drama. But now that he does, can we survive her? She sounds pretty crazy.
He tilts his head. “What’s wrong?”
Of course we would survive; look how tuned in he is to me. “Do you think maybe you should give her another chance? For Celeste’s sake?” I ask, even though it physically hurts me to do so. I don’t want him to, but I don’t want to stand in the way of a family being together.
“The fuck? No, Jaylin. I do not. I tried that, and it didn’t work. I refuse to be unhappy so my daughter can have both parents in her daily life. I don’t like that woman, not even a bit. I can’t even find it in me to find love for her because she gave me Celeste.”
I take his words and think them over. I was pretty sure he would say something like that.
“Wait. Are you trying to get out of this?”
I look up at him, appalled by what I think he just said. “Excuse me?”
“Using Lilly as a way out of this relationship with me.”
“Excuse me again, but what the fuck? Why would I do that?”
“I don’t know,” he says, his voice getting louder, emotion clouding his features. “I thought we were good, I thought we were solid. I love you, but you asking me if I want another chance with her—what is that? I don’t want her. I want you. So, what are you playing at?”
“I’m not playing at fucking anything, Kirby. I don’t want to stand in the way of a family being together!”
“You are my fucking family!” he yells back, his eyes wild.
I swallow thickly, tears burning my eyes as I hold up my hands. “Our emotions are high.”
“I’d say so,” he says, shaking his head before covering his face with his hands.
I lean into the island, letting out a long sigh. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest, and I can’t believe we are arguing over Lilly. She doesn’t matter. Only we do. He blows out a breath through his hands just as my phone starts to ring. It’s Aviva’s tone.
I glance at the clock, seeing it’s almost midnight. Shit, is she okay? I reach for my phone, answering quickly. “Hey? You good?”
“Yes and no. My water broke, and I’m freaking the fuck out.” Oh God. I love Aviva, but this is the last thing I need right now. “Jay, I’m not nine months.”
“It’s okay. You’re like three weeks shy, no big deal,” I say as steadily as I can. “You are fine. We’re fine. How’s Nico?”
“He hasn’t spoken since my water broke. I think he’s in shock.”
Calmly, so I don’t work her up, I ask, “Okay, are you on your way to the hospital?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay, I love you.”
My heart explodes in my chest. “Oh, Aviva, I love you.”
I hang up and tuck my phone into my back pocket as Kirby looks over at me. “Aviva’s water broke. I need to get to the hospital.”
“It could be hours before she has the baby, and we aren’t done talk—”
“We are,” I say firmly. “My best friend needs me. I am aware it could be hours before she has the baby, but I don’t care. I need to be there for her, and all this will have to wait.”
His eyes are stony as his shoulders rise and fall rapidly. “So, you’re leaving,” he says, not as a question but a statement.
“I’m leaving,” I say, walking past him without stopping for a kiss or anything. I need to get out of here. I need to breathe and think before I see Aviva. Once I’m out the door, I know I need to gather my wits about me on my way to the hospital. When it comes to Kirby, I can’t ever find them.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jaylin
* * *
Oh, Nico is a mess.
I feel so bad for him. With every little cry of pain that Aviva makes, he’s basically shaking as he tries to soothe her. He hasn’t left her side, and I don’t think he will. When I arrived, it was to find out Aviva was already dilated to five centimeters. Apparently, she had been having contractions at the game and not even realizing it. Easy to say, we were all surprised. Problem is, we don’t know if Callie will make it in time. I’ve called and texted her, but I’m pretty sure she is sleeping, which keeps me from buying her a plane ticket until I know she would make it to the airport to get here.
Aviva squeezes my hand, groaning loudly as she fights off a contraction. “She’s going to be so upset.”
I rub her arm. “It’s okay. She’ll understand. It’s not like this is controllable, Veev.”
“Jay is right, my love. Callie will just be excited to meet the little person,” Nico says in agreement with me, which is surprising. He likes to disagree with me at every turn. “It’s okay. I promise.”
She cries out, holding our hands, and I hate that she’s in pain. I stand, stroking my fingers under her eyes to catch her tears. When she opens her eyes again, she looks at me and I smile. “You’re so strong, Veev. Look at you go.”
She swallows thickly as she nods. “It hurts.”
“I’m sure it does,” I say, rubbing her cheek.
“I’m sorry, Aviva,” Nico says, and I smile over at him as Aviva brings his fist to her lips.
“No. It’s not your fault—though, it is your sperm that knocked me up. But it’s fine. We’re fine. Everything is fine.”
“Yes, you’re absolutely right,” I say, trying to console her as she takes in deep breaths.
When the doctor enters, I back away, still holding her hand, so he has room. Before, I would have been checking out the doctor. I even told Aviva when she turned up pregnant that I was excited for her sexy doctor, but no one can hold a candle to Kirby. Ugh, my heart. I hate the way I left things. I hate that I’m so in my head about this.
I honestly don’t want to be a good person. I don’t want to give Lilly the chance to hurt Kirby and Celeste again, but if they have the chance to be a family, a real, blood family, then who am I to stand in the way?
I’m so distraught by how upset Kirby was when I left. I hated the look on his face, the way he stared at me like I had just kicked him square in the balls. I didn’t want to cause that, I didn’t want to be the one to hurt him, but I can’t shake the feeling that I need to step away. I am so in love with him. So much so that I’m changing. I am missing work; I’m moving my life around to bring him and Celeste into it. I want to banish all my fears to be in a bed with him, in his house, and it all scares me so much. I promised I would never give myself over like that, but here I am, doing exactly that.
And then what about Lilly? I know he’s upset with her, and for good reason. But even with her being overseas, she still sent all kinds of hell his way. What will happen if she’s involved in Celeste’s life? The thought of sharing Celeste gives me such a headache. I don’t want Lilly teaching her bad habits or talking about Kirby and me in a negative way. I don’t want the constant pull of what we know is right and her wanting to play mommy. Her actions speak volumes, and I don’t want to deal with her.