Yes. “No. Give me another one and that pie, is it raspberry?”
“Yes, it is. One slice?”
“Two please.”
She handed me my order. I was ready to leave and possibly convince myself to throw it away when I stopped in my tracks, next to a round, silver table that had two benches tucked neatly beneath it. “Can I take a seat here?”
“Oh, yes, you can dear. Make yourself comfortable.” Her eyes shone as she said the words.
I pulled out a bench and once settled, I opened the box. Carefully, I brought the first cupcake to my mouth. It was divine. I’d forgotten what they tasted like. It had been so long since I had one. Before I knew it, I finished the first and the second. I grimaced at the pie, wrestling with my conscience.
Once again, I lost that battle. I took a bite out of the first slice of the pie and OH. MY. GOD. It had an orgasmic effect. The pastry practically dissolved in my mouth into tiny pieces of cotton. It was both fluffy and crispy, I could taste the natural sweetness of the raspberries. Thereon, I couldn’t refrain from the other slice and ended up ordering two more.
“Slow down.” The old lady laughed. “There’s plenty more. Would you like something to drink? We have milkshakes?”
I was in heaven.
“Vanilla, please,” I said with a full mouth.
Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I cleared my aching throat. This was what my life looked like when I was in a bad place. I stuffed myself with food to try to feel complete. To forget about whatever was going on. But right after eating, I realized that my life remained the same. My body screamed, telling me what an idiot I was. Therefore, I threw up, as if I could expel my problems along with the food I ate. However, the only thing that changed afterward was the added burning sensation to my throat but my issues persisted, glaring back at me.
I rinsed my mouth and walked out of the ladies’. Erica must have arrived sometime when I was in the bathroom and was seated at a table by the window. I crossed the restaurant, careful not to bump into anyone. Mollie’s was always jam-packed during lunch and loud with laughter, chatter and clinking silverware. I made it to the table and hung my purse on the back of my chair.
“You look pale,” Erica said as I sat. “How was your first night in the new apartment?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary.”
She handed me the drink menu. “I’ve ordered for the three of us. I asked a salad for you.”
I offered a flat smile.
During elementary school, Erica and I bonded over our love for food. Her mother packed boring, nutritious food and my mother packed a fatty feast of glucose and carbs worthy of three or four other kids. Back then, I was already overweight but Erica was as skinny as she was today. She was lazy, scarcely exercised and didn’t pick up weight. I was the opposite and by middle school, I had reached a hundred and forty-pounds and was barely five feet tall.
“Thanks. Where’s Melissa?”
She blew out a gentle chuckle. “Probably still in the shower. It’s like her watch tells a different time from the rest of the world.”
I asked the waitress for a bottle of water and a freshly squeezed orange juice. By the time she brought it to the table, Melissa sauntered in, turning heads as she did. She had this power to capture attention and was oblivious to it. Melissa dodged the hostess, jogging to our table and dropped to the seat on a heavy sigh as if she were exhausted. Her three bodyguards took a table that had a reserved sign next to us.
“I’m not that late,” Melissa said, unwrapping a heavy brown scarf off her neck and then shimmied out of her coat. “And yes, before you ask, it’s cold for me.”
“You’ve lived here for more than half a decade,” Erica said, “you should be used to it by now. Winter in California is a joke.”
“Not to me.” Melissa slipped off her oversized shades and pinned them on her curly hair. “How was the first night at the new house, Christina?”
Instead of answering her question, I said, “I fought with Ezra at the bookstore.”
Both their faces contorted into the funniest scowl. I sniggered and told them my version of the event.
“I don’t believe you, Christina.” Melissa shook her head. “Ezra is a good guy. He wouldn’t call you a bitch out of the blue.”
“Well, he did!”
“Notch down on the defensiveness.” Melissa grabbed her cellphone. “I’m calling him.”
“No!” I snatched the phone from her hand before she hit dial. “You don’t have to. Maybe I was a bit insensitive at first. In my defense, I was having a grumpy morning. Couldn’t he just have given me the bag and walked away without trying to give me advice I did not ask for?”
Erica rolled her eyes. “And the whole world is at fault because you had a grumpy morning?”
“Not the whole world. Just him.”
“You have to apologize,” Melissa stated firmly. She seemed genuinely upset. “The lecture he gave you was warranted. You shouldn’t go out and get drunk like that, especially alone.”
“If I had company with me, then, I wouldn’t have been alone.”
Erica exhaled, turning to me and said, “Christina, the world doesn’t revolve around you. I know you’re having a hard time getting over Rob but we have lives too. I just got married, so forgive me if I don’t feel like going around clubs getting drunk like we were still in college.”
She didn’t have to remind me. I knew it all too well. They were both living the American dream.
“Excuse me,” a waiter said, breaking what was about to turn into a tense moment, and held out my cell phone. “You said to bring it out when it reached thirty percent.”
“Thanks.” I grabbed the phone and powered it on while Melissa spoke, “Andrew and I—mostly me—are thinking about going away for a while after the wedding.”
I took a sip from my water. “For how long?”
“Not sure yet, maybe a month. He can’t be away for long because of the company,” Melissa paused and touched my hand to grab my attention. I stowed my phone to look at her. “The job Andrew offered you is still available. Are you sure you don’t want it?”
“Will Sabrina be there?”
Sabrina was the girl Robert had fallen head over heels for. She was blonde, tall and skinny with boobs that looked like two watermelons were glued to her chest. She had worked for Melissa and Andrew since they opened their company. I knew it was outrageous to demand such a thing, but I couldn’t work in the same office as Sabrina. She’d be a constant reminder of everything I wasn’t.
“We’ve been over this, Christina. I can’t ask Andrew to fire her to make things easier for you. And frankly, I don’t need to ask because I’m sure he’ll say no.”
“Why? Does Andrew like her better, too?”
“Here we go,” Erica muttered.
“Fuck you,” I hissed at her. “You don’t even have a job. You’re a bored housewife.” Something was seriously wrong with me. I should not have been permitted to open my mouth any longer.
“I just designed your house, how is that not a job?” She got me there. I wanted to answer but Erica waved me off and continued, “My turn. Dave doesn’t want me to work.”