“No.” Stryker’s voice came from right on the other side of the doorway. “I’m not. Even if you’re blinded by her, I’m not. She’s a fuckin’ poison, Remy. And she’ll ruin your life, just like she ruined Danny’s.”
Every word he uttered sent a slash of pain through my heart straight to my soul.
Do people still see me that way? After all these years? I can’t fucking live it down. This is why I need to leave Birch. I need to get away.
“We should go now.” Dom tried to physically move me, but I pulled my arm out of his grasp and turned my attention back to the doorway.
Panic filled my bones, and I scrambled to get away, ready to leave. Unfortunately, I didn’t move fast enough. Remy and Stryker both filled the doorway, with Remy’s hand grabbing Stryker’s collar as he shoved the other man into the wall.
“If you ever, and I mean ever say anything about Parker again, I swear on everything I hold dear, I will fucking end you.”
But Stryker wasn’t looking at Remy.
No.
His hate-filled eyes were locked on mine, and the smile on his lips was lifeless.
When Remy turned his head, ever so slowly, his eyes met mine and everything else faded away.
“Parker.” My name was nothing but a whisper on his lips, and I couldn’t even bring myself to answer him.
Not with the tears streaming down my cheeks, and not with the ache filling my bones.
I’d done this.
For the first time in my life, I saw myself through Stryker’s eyes. The eyes of a man who knew what I’d done and didn’t excuse it because Danny had died.
“I’m so sorry.”
Running by them before Remy could even let go of Stryker, I pushed through the door with a large red EXIT sign above it before I broke down completely.
My life was such a fucking mess.
19
Remy
Stryker shoved at my hands as soon as Parker was out the door and out of earshot. Dom stepped between us before I could swing at the man who’d walked through hell with me, but that didn’t stop me from pointing at him.
His blue eyes bore into mine, a mix of anger and concern, because regardless of what he’d said, we were friends. And he had to make this right.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Stryker? She’s finally forgiving me for all the shit I did, and you have to step in like you know what’s going on.” Panic seeped into my heart, and I thought about everything I’d worked so hard to build, all of it slipping away with his careless words.
“I was there, Remy. We all were. Hell, even Dom must remember how heartbroken you were at MOS, because of her sleeping with him.”
I sighed, unable to help it. Then I shot a glance at the exit, wondering if there was any chance that I’d be able to get to Parker before she left. Though I knew her, and there was no way she’d have waited around. Despite that I knew where she was going. I would see her later and I could make her listen, but I had to finish my shift first.
“Look, Stryker. You don’t know all of it. You don’t know everything that happened.”
“Then tell me, man. Because to me, it looks like you’re falling in with the same viper that made you want to kill yourself. I had to help pull you out of that hole.”
Immediately, I bristled at the insinuation. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself, Stryker.” But my defense fell flat. Both men had been there. They’d seen the pit I fell into after Parker…
Parker, who deserved to hear a real apology, one that she’d been denied all these years.
“I told her that I’d never love her.” The words cut me worse than I had ever thought possible. “I found her that night, after the party, when everyone else was asleep, and I destroyed any feelings that she had for me. I said things … things that you wouldn’t say to your worst enemy. How she acted? That’s nothing compared to what I did to her. She went to Danny because I told her to. I gave her to him.”
Stryker opened his mouth to ask me more, but I waved him off. “I did it. Not her. I did. And she went to Danny because he was the only one who might be able to help her pick up the pieces. I was stupid, man. I did it.” I couldn’t hide the pain and desolation in my voice, or the memories that I’d tried so goddamn hard to push away for years.
“I’m sorry, man.” He looked uncomfortable even saying the words. “But you never said anything … you’re my brother. I’m not going to let someone hurt you. Not after everything you’ve done to find happiness.”
“She’s my happiness.” My nose started to itch uncontrollably, and I pinched it to gain some clarity. Except my skin started up, too, and it felt like it was on fire in the next instant. I coughed, keeping my eyes closed, and I struggled to figure out exactly what to do or say.
“I’ll fix it,” he said quietly. “I’ll apologize to her and fix what I did.” Stryker’s willingness to try and help was noted, but I knew Parker. She wouldn’t just forget what he said.
Dom spoke up for the first time. “I like her, Remy. I always have. I thought for sure that you told her how you felt, too. I think we all did. There are a lot of people in this town who think that she threw you over for Danny.” I opened my eyes to see him staring at me with uncertainty. “It’s none of my business, but I think maybe you should fix that, if you’re gonna be together.”
Leaning up against the wall, I knocked the back of my head against its hard surface over and over.
“I’m gonna need you two to start talking,” I told them both. “I don’t care how you do it. Start with the other guys, and let them spread it too, I guess. But please, for the love of everything, make sure that people find out the truth.” I scrubbed a hand down my face, frustrated that I’d even had to bring it up. “I fuckin’ hate living in a small town.”
Dom shrugged like he didn’t care, but I saw the glint in his eyes. The one that said he’d been thinking the same thing as Stryker, but he hadn’t acted on it.
“Did everyone think Parker was a dick?” The question burst out of my mouth, and I didn’t regret it in the slightest.
“I didn’t,” Linc piped up from the end of the hallway. “But then again, I knew the whole story from the beginning.” He shrugged. “You guys are loud AF, man. Seriously, stop bickering like little old ladies and get to work. Or something like that.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Where’s Daisy, anyway?” His very blatant change of subject couldn’t have come at a better time.
I sighed. “She’s in the kitchen passed out like an asshole.” I pointed my thumb behind me where I could hear her snoring. “She’s acting like I made her run a marathon this morning, when all I did was have her run a mile with me and Nox. If you even want to call it running. Kid’s still got short legs, so we had to take it slow.”
Linc snorted. “She’s probably pissed that you made her leave him. She loves that kid.”
“What was Parker doing here in the first place?” I scratched my chin, annoyed by the stubble that I hadn’t had a chance to shave that morning. “She’s supposed to be resting.”