The farther I drove, the more I felt like I needed to go back and pour my heart out—tell her how sorry I was for leaving, how much I regretted hurting her. It wouldn’t matter if she said nothing. I should’ve said more.
Unable to accept my cowardice, I turned my car around and drove back toward her house. Slowing down, I could see her getting into her car in the distance. I stopped short of where she was parked. Farrah didn’t see me because she had her head on the steering wheel. I watched as she sat for a moment, looking distraught.
This changed things. It was proof that her cold demeanor was a façade, that she was affected by my visit. Anything more I might have to say would only further upset her, though. She had a right to this private moment, and it felt wrong to disrupt her, especially since I was the cause. As much as it pained me not to comfort her, I did what I knew she’d want—I drove away slowly so she’d never know I’d come back.
• • •
A few days later, I was surprised to see Nathan’s name pop up on my phone.
I answered, “Hey, man.”
“Hey. Are you busy?”
“No.” I scratched my head. “What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you had time to stop by. My car won’t start. I don’t think it’s the battery. Something else is up. I was hoping you could take a look. I could take it to the mechanic, but I don’t really trust him. The last time I went there, it cost me a pretty penny for a shit job.”
I suspected he might’ve been looking for an excuse to get together to gauge where things stood with us.
“Yeah. Sure. I can come by.”
“Doesn’t have to be right away. I know you must be working at this time of day.”
“It’s no big deal. My job is pretty flexible. I could use a break from staring at the computer screen.”
“Cool.”
There was one thing I needed to know first, though. “Is Farrah home?”
“No. She’s in class, and she has a shift at the restaurant tonight. She usually goes there straight from school. She won’t be home at all.”
“Okay, good. I don’t want to upset her.” I paused. “Did she mention anything after I came to see her?”
“I asked her how it went, but she said she didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t push.”
“Yeah. It was tense. I didn’t stay long.” I exhaled. “Anyway…I can be there in a bit.”
• • •
After two hours, I was able to get Nathan’s car running again. He mostly stood around, watching me as I worked. We reminisced a little about old times, though certainly not about anything that happened three years ago.
He went into the house at one point and returned with a small paper menu.
“I’m ordering a pizza, if you’re hungry,” he said.
“I’m starving, actually. Sounds good.”
Twenty minutes later, the pizza and breadsticks arrived. He paid the delivery guy, and we took the food inside.
Nathan set the pizza box on the coffee table in the living room and brought a couple of sodas from the kitchen. While I was fixing his car, Nathan had told me he’d been sober since his accident, so I figured he wouldn’t offer me a beer. He had the latest Formula One race from this past weekend on DVR, and he pulled it up after I’d told him I hadn’t had a chance to watch it yet. Watching Formula One together used to be one of our favorite things to do.
Even though this resembled old times, I knew things would never be the same again. But maybe this was the start of a new normal.
Halfway into the race, I looked out the window and saw a car pull into the driveway. “You expecting someone?”
“No,” he said before leaning his head out to see better. “Shit.”
“What?”
“It’s Farrah and her dumbass boyfriend.”
My pulse sped up as my fight-or-flight mode kicked in. “I thought you said she wasn’t coming home.”
“She told me she wasn’t.”
Damn it.
I’d never in my entire life wished for the power to magically disappear until now. I would’ve left if I’d known this might happen. Standing up from the couch, I braced myself. My heart felt ready to jump out of my chest as the door opened.
Farrah was the first to step inside. When she spotted me, she froze in her tracks.
She glared at Nathan as she spoke to me. “What are you doing here?”
“Nathan needed help fixing his car. I didn’t think you’d be home.”
“Why aren’t you in class?” Nathan asked.
“My professor was sick. They canceled it. Niles met me at school and took me out to lunch.”
When her boyfriend walked in, all of our heads turned toward him in unison. No one said anything. He was tall, with brown hair and a Roman nose—average-looking, at best. No one would ever be good enough for her in my mind, but after what Nathan had said about him, I disliked him before he’d even opened his mouth.
“What’s going on?” he said. Before anyone could answer, he bent to take the last slice of pizza from the box.
What a dick.
Farrah broke the ice. “Niles, this is my brother’s friend, Jace.”
“Hey,” he said with his mouth full. “That your truck parked outside?”
“Yeah.”
“You must love your fuel economy in that thing.” He snorted.
This dude can’t be serious.
I squinted at him, not even dignifying his rude comment with a response. I could immediately see why Nathan hated this guy. Even if he wasn’t condescending, I’d probably hate him no matter what. But now, I really hated him.
Farrah disappeared into the kitchen, but Niles—what a pompous name—decided to stay in the living room.
“So, Nate, have you given any thought to my job offer?”
Nathan and I gave each other the eye. He hated being called Nate. Something told me he’d corrected this douche plenty of times in the past.
“I already told you why I wouldn’t be taking that job.”
“Because you’d rather mooch off the government?”
Whoa. My fists tightened. If I didn’t think it would piss off Farrah, I might’ve actually punched him.
“You know I don’t drink alcohol. Why the fuck would I work in a liquor store?”
“Because you should put aside your weaknesses for a good opportunity. I told you, I could get you a managerial job.”
“And I told you I don’t want one. Why do you keep asking me?”
Farrah returned, looking annoyed. “Stop bugging my brother.”
He spoke with his mouth full again. “I’m only trying to help him.”
Farrah’s eyes locked with mine. The urge to get her alone, to talk to her, to make sure she was okay—especially given this asshole—overwhelmed me. All the things I’d needed to say to her the other day felt like they were choking me.
So, I did something I hoped she would understand, mouthing a message she had once given me. Please.
Farrah blinked. I was crazy for hoping she would entertain it. Several moments of silence passed.
But then…