“You don’t have to go silent just yet, baby girl,” he whispers.
Closing my eyes, I wish that were true because I know without a doubt each one of those kills takes a piece of my soul with it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Victoria
Staring up at the ceiling, I let my mind wander to the day I first met Tracker. I’d just started working at Dolly’s Playhouse and just walked out on the stage for the first time nervous as hell about dancing. I’d seen him sitting there with some of the other guys from the club and I’d been entranced.
I know he doesn’t know it but when I danced it was for him, no one else existed in my eyes. He’s part of the reason I never exposed my breasts on stage. Only gave them the illusion that I would.
When he’d asked me for a lap dance, I’d denied him knowing what would happen if I did and I didn’t want my first time to happen that way.
From then he’d been a jerk calling me Ice Princess constantly.
I’d do anything to hear his voice right now.
Giving up on being able to rest, I sit up and scoot back until I’m leaning against the headboard.
“Please let him be okay,” I whisper into the quiet room.
A knock on the door draws me from my thoughts of Tracker. “Come in,” I call out, knowing who it is without looking. Only Chains would knock on my door this time of the morning. Everyone else knows when I’m in this room, they’re to stay away. I don’t allow anyone into my space here. This room is my sanctuary from the world.
“You okay, baby girl,” Chains asks as he comes into my room and closes the door behind him.
“I’m okay,” I murmur, not meeting his gaze.
“Don’t lie to me. Victoria, you know you don’t have to shut down your emotions around me. I’m your big brother. I’m supposed to protect you and I’ve never been able to do so,” Chains mutters as he climbs up to sit next to me on the bed.
Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, I finally cave and break down in a fit of tears as I tell him everything. I explain to him how I met Tracker and the rest of the club.
The entire time, Chains just strokes my hair and lets me cry without judgment.
“Shh, baby girl. No one will ever hurt you again. I know you have to do this and the club will have your back if you need it. But I wish you’d leave it to us to handle. I mean, think about your baby. You don’t want to lose him, do you?” Chains asks.
“I’m not going to lose him, Darren. I need to do this. It’s my fault. If not for me, my baby’s father wouldn’t be laying in the ICU. And I wouldn’t be scared to death he won’t wake up. No this is my mess to straighten up. Once and for all,” I say with determination as I glance up to face him.
Chains stares at me for long moments before smiling. “You know Momma and Dad would have been proud of the woman you’ve become. You're sweet and caring like Mom and you have Dad’s stubbornness.”
Giving my brother a sad smile, I lay my head back on his shoulder. “Tell me about them. I can’t remember them,” I say.
“I know you don’t, baby girl. You were barely two when they died. I remember the day you were born. Dad brought me into the room, Momma was holding you in her arms as she scooted over, and I climbed up to sit next to her. The moment I saw your face, I knew right then you were special. Did I ever tell you why you’re named Victoria?” he asks
“No,” I whisper. I’ve always loved hearing about my real mom and dad. They’d died in a freak accident. Darren being eleven at the time, he remembers what happened to them. We were separated almost right after and I’d been adopted before my uncle could stop my aunts from signing the papers. Darren went to live with Uncle Vernon a.k.a. Ryder. He’d been the president of the Inferno’s Clutch MC before Chains took over.
Ryder made sure to keep a close eye on me when he could and was able to have visitations to see me. But that eventually ended, and the only time I saw my brother was when he’d show up at my school to have lunch with me.
“Mom loved anything to do with history, whether it was mythology or the history of kings and queens through the ages. She said you fought when the doctors told her you wouldn’t make it to term due to issues, and she wanted you to have a name that proved you won the battle. Momma went on to talk about a goddess named Nike who was known in Rome as Victoria,” Chains chuckles.
“Mom wanted to name you Victoria River but thankfully Dad put a stop to that wanting you to have a piece of his side of the family in your name. That’s how you ended up with Ann as your middle name.”
“River? I like it,” I murmur, thinking what a great name it would be for a little boy.
“Please, for the love of God, don’t name that kid River. Think of the jokes he’d have to endure,” he says, causing me to giggle. “Seriously, imagine someone coming up to him and singing the lyrics to ‘Cry Me A River’ or ‘Run Softly, Blue River’. Don’t get me wrong, Johnny Cash, yeah, but Justin Timberlake? Nope, that’s a no-go.”
I can’t help but burst into a fit of giggles as my brother shudders.
“Okay, I won’t name him River,” I promise as I sit up to face him.
Sitting with my legs crossed, I gather my hair in my hands and put it up into a ponytail. “Will the club be pissed when I take Parker out?” I ask.
“Naw, baby girl. We want his ass out. We only do what we have to for him to get him shut down. You taking him out means less work for us. Though I’ll miss the money I willingly took from him,” he says.
“I won’t get into that. I still hate the fact you did it, but it’s not my business.” Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I notice the time— four-thirty-three. “I need to get going if I want to make it to my parents’ before the sun comes up,” I say as I begin to re-seal the cracked box. There’s no place for emotions with what I’m about to do.
“Baby girl, they’re not home. Neither is Parker. Your best bet is to hang out here or go home to your ol’ man until they get back,” Chains states.
I contemplate this little information. With them all gone for now, it means I can check on their security.
“I’ll stay here,” I mutter. As much as I want to go home, I won’t go until I know the threat is gone.
“Fine with me. I’d enjoy spending time with my little sister, and I know Breaker, Tyres, and Brake want to spend time with you as well. We can put up with Shadow for now. He seems like a solid dude,” Chains grins.
“Shadow can be a scary dude, Chains. He’s not one you want to go against,” I say, giving him a knowing look. He’d try to fuck with Shadow just to see if he could piss the guy off.
“We’re not gonna fuck with him really. I got to talk with him last night after you left us to lay in here. He told me about your life back in Virginia when you ran away. Something you forgot to mention to me. I would have helped you disappear if that’s what you wanted,” he chuckles.
“Tracker would have found me regardless. Hence his name,” I mutter.
“Why don’t you try and get some sleep? Being prego, I know you can’t take one of those sleeping pills you always snag from Pipe,” Chains states as he gets up. “Try visualizing what calms you most.” With that, he leaves me to my thoughts.