Chapter Seven
Gabe couldn’t believe how anxious and excited he was to be back online again. I need the escape from reality badly. The communications block had been lifted an hour earlier, but he’d been forced to sit through a meeting before he could make it to the privacy of his office. It had been almost two full days since he’d written to Sara, and he hated that she had no clue why he had stopped writing to her. Yet another hardship on those back at home. Technology was wonderful, and did an amazing job at lessening the hardship of deployments, but things still happened that were beyond their control. Even though they’d still worry, family members who’d been through this with soldiers before understood it. But Sara likely had no clue. Should I have warned her ahead of time? That was the problem with connections like this—you didn’t really know what protocol to follow. If he were dating or married, then of course he’d have covered the part about not panicking if he abruptly disappeared. Naturally, a significant other would still be concerned, but at least they knew the possibility of downtime existed. Sara had popped into his life so suddenly, he hadn’t had a chance to think of anything other than how much he enjoyed talking to her.
He knew he could easily sit there another hour and obsess, but he had an e-mail to send. So he pulled up her last message and hit the Reply button.
Sara:
I’m sorry I’ve been off-grid for a few days. We had an incident, and when that happens, comms are taken down for a while. It’s standard protocol and unfortunately it happens far too often. I wish I could have gotten word to you, but what little outgoing mail we’re allowed to send during that time is monitored.
Thank you for the pictures. You couldn’t have sent them at a better time, as they gave me something else to focus on other than what’s been going on here. I’ve pretty much seen it all, but . . . I guess the day I become immune to the loss of human life is the day I need to resign my command. And I think you’re right about the only true path to peace. I love my country and I’m proud to do my part, but I think these wars will be fought long after I’m gone. Soldiers have to find a way to accept that the sacrifices that we and our loved ones make are part of a big, long-range goal. Instant gratification doesn’t exist here. There are many types of victories, and one of the most important is keeping your sanity while being away from everything you’ve ever known for months at a stretch. You’ve made a difference for me. I loved the pictures. Your beautiful smile, your joy, it held me together.
Gabe
He knew his letter was too serious and bordering on gloomy, but he’d just started writing, with nothing other than an apology in mind. He’d ended up pouring out a piece of his soul, something he’d never done like this with anyone. Even though her messages were usually funny and upbeat, he remembered the one about her aunt calling her a spinster. No matter how much she joked about it, he sensed the underlying hurt. Granted it was a much different scenario, but it had shown him immediately that she had a compassionate heart. A big part of talking to someone in this way was being able to read between the lines. And with her, he felt a type of kinship. He could be wrong, it had certainly happened with other things, but somehow he didn’t think so. She was special. Please don’t let me be wrong about her.
Gabe pressed the Send button and felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Not being able to contact her had bothered him more than he could have imagined. And now he had her reply to look forward to. He picked up his phone and glanced around his empty office sheepishly before looking at his home screen. The picture she’d sent him was now his background image. Just seeing her face somehow made his day better. He knew it was crazy, and he’d never admit it to anyone else, but he was in serious danger of falling for a woman he’d likely never meet.
* * *
• • •
Sara was usually a bit sad to drop Kaylee off at school. She missed the little girl while she was gone, even though she attended for only a few hours. The house always seemed entirely too quiet without her constant chatter. Plus, today was one of those rare times when Nicole was picking her daughter up, so she wouldn’t see her until late that afternoon. But after being snowed in with a bored and restless five-year-old, Sara was more than happy to give her niece a hug and say good-bye. Unfortunately, Kaylee didn’t feel the same way. “I wanna stay with you, Sarie.” She scrunched her face up into an adorable frown before adding, “Billy gets on my nerves really bad. And now I gotta put up with perfect Maisie. Those big bows in her hair are ugly. She doesn’t even have a bike, only a doll with a face that breaks if you drop it. Who wants something like that?”
Ah, now I see. Sara understood she wasn’t the only one in the car who struggled with self-esteem. She mentally cursed Nicole for not seeing that by praising her friend’s daughter so much, she was filling her own with insecurity. If Kaylee were more confident in her relationship with her mother, it might not be an issue. Regardless of her feelings toward her sister-in-law, she didn’t think the other woman did it maliciously. She probably believed Kaylee would see Maisie as a role model. Unfortunately, it was having the opposite effect. Kaylee resented and felt inferior to the little girl. Sara had broached the subject with Nicole before but had gotten nowhere. Nicole didn’t like her input on parenting philosophies. She’d point out that since Sara herself wasn’t a mother, she didn’t understand how things should be. She’d wanted to tell her that she spent more time with Kaylee than Nicole did, but it was one of many times she’d bitten her tongue for the sake of family peace. But none of that mattered now. She had to remain positive; otherwise, it would influence Kaylee’s mood further, and she didn’t want that. So she pulled her car out of the line and over to the side before putting it into Park. Then she turned and put a hand over her niece’s. “Sweetie, listen to me,” she said gently and waited until Kaylee was looking up at her. “You’ve barely seen your mom in days because of the snow. She’s taking off this afternoon just for you. She’s missed you so much. You’re going to have such an amazing time.” When Kaylee appeared skeptical, Sara reached up and tapped her forehead lightly. “You better keep notes for me up there. I want to hear all about it tonight.”
“It’ll be all ’bout Maisie,” Kaylee said with an eyeroll that had Sara grinning despite herself. “She’ll have one of those big bows in her hair again. They’re always pink too, Sarie. Does she not have any other colors?”
Don’t laugh, don’t laugh. Keep it together. Sara bit her tongue so hard she was surprised it was still attached. The kid was so darned cute, it was nearly impossible to remain composed. Then she did something that she knew every parenting book preached against, but dammit, she wanted Kaylee to have fun with Nicole and not dread it so much that she missed out on what could be some much-needed mother-daughter bonding. She lowered her voice conspiratorially and motioned Kaylee closer. “Can you keep a secret?” Kaylee’s eyes widened as she nodded enthusiastically. “Your mom says all that nice stuff about Maisie because she feels sorry for her.” She pointed to Kaylee’s blue jeans, with the colorful butterfly and rainbow patches. “See how adorable and different you’re dressed? That makes you very unique. Do you know what that word means?”