Kaylee had gone oddly silent, as if sensing her distress. “Sure, should have led with that. I’m Gabe Randall. Sara isn’t exactly expecting me. I hoped to surprise her.” Can’t breathe, can’t breathe. She was very much afraid she was going to pass out. He’s here—Gabe. My Gabe. Why? How? Oh my God. “You must be Sara’s brother. I’ve heard a lot about you. I thought it might put your mind at ease if you all met me before the trip.”
Even though Gabe couldn’t see her, Chris was openly staring at her now. She had no idea what he’d picked up on there, but what he did next was clearly meant to protect her. “No, I’m her husband. Exactly how do you know my wife?”
“Chris,” she whispered in horror, shaking her head frantically. “No, dear God, don’t tell him that.” Sara moved out of the shadows and shoved past her brother until she was face-to-face with the man who had been the center of her world for the past seven months. For a moment, she could only stare. He was even handsomer in person. Tall, dark, and fit, with eyes that were even more piercing in person. Only instead of the affection she’d gotten used to seeing in them, they were now filled with confusion, anger, and, worst of all, hurt. So much hurt. Oh God. Why is Chris doing this? I can’t believe he’s here. “Gabe.” She choked out his name as she extended a hand toward him.
Yet he simply stood there, with his arms crossed over his chest. “Are you here to talk to my mommy?” Kaylee asked as she moved to Sara’s side. Kaylee, not you too. Sara closed her eyes briefly, knowing the little girl assumed Gabe was someone for Nicole. It wasn’t unusual for clerks from the station to stop by to drop off and pick up mail for Nicole. But her question sounded even more damning in light of Chris’s absurd claim. And Gabe’s now ashen face told her that he thought the worst. This entire fiasco was fast spinning out of control. Considering the damage that her family had already inflicted, she couldn’t risk trying to reason with him in front of them. So she put a hand on his shoulder and nudged him back a few inches so she could step outside and shut the door behind her.
She stood for a moment, drinking in every feature. Yet his expression told her that she was not welcome there. “Gabe. My brother is joking. How long are you here—”
“No, I’m thinking the joke is on me, Sara. You lied to me about everything. You’re not the spinster nanny, you’re the mother. How did you manage to pull it off? We talked so much. Does your husband travel or something?” Before she could reply, he held up his hand. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. Hell, I wouldn’t know if you were telling the truth anyway.” The pain in his voice ripped her heart out when he said, “I trusted you, Sara. I fucking let you in and you lied to me. Is this how you get your kicks? Seems like that is your kink.” No. No, this is not happening. How can he not believe me?
“I’m not married, Gabe!” she yelled out, desperate to salvage the mess she’d made. “I swear to you, Chris is my brother. He said that because he could see that I was panicking and he was trying to protect me. If he’d known who you were—”
“I felt it was the right thing to do to come to you, Sara. And I’m glad I did. I’ll make sure I get a refund on the ticket to Alaska.” She opened her mouth, then closed it again. What could she say? She’d been too much of a coward to tell everyone about the man she had met online. And maybe a part of her hadn’t believed it would ever happen that they would one day meet in person. This was a disaster. How could this have happened? Lower than dirt. I’m the worst excuse for a person ever. He’s even more amazing than I realized, and I’ve hurt him.
I hate myself.
She had no idea what she should do next, but she found herself blurting out an explanation. “I was afraid to let myself get excited. I was already so attached to you that I didn’t think I could handle it if you changed your mind after your deployment. So I tried not to think about it. To get my hopes up . . .”
He ran an unsteady hand over his face in a gesture that was so familiar to her that it made her heart ache. She knew him so well—yet not at all. How did things get to this point? “I swear, I don’t know what to believe. In hindsight, showing up unannounced wasn’t such a good idea, that’s for sure.”
“Why did you?” she asked him softly, barely able to resist the urge to touch him. The only thing that stopped her was the certainty that he didn’t want her to get any closer. Why would he?
His expression was blank as he stared back at her, but the pained expression was still there in his eyes and she had to fight to keep from glancing away. “I knew you’d get all nervous and I didn’t want that. Shit, you get flustered if you don’t have time to prepare to FaceTime. I changed my flights. Thought it would be a nice surprise after the initial shock. But now—”
“You did all this for me?” she asked. Please don’t walk away, Gabe. Please listen.
“Great plan, huh?” he said sarcastically. “Remind me to stick to the script in the future. Oh wait, you’re not likely to be around for that, are you? Maybe I can have it put on a T-shirt or something more reliable.”
“I’m so sorry.” She gulped as the tears threatened to flow. The fact that she’d held them back this long was nothing short of a miracle. “I never wanted to hurt you, Gabe. These months with you have been . . . the best of my life. You don’t know how much I looked forward to each day because of you. I—I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. And I was afraid . . . it was too good to be true.”
“Sara—dammit, don’t you think I’ve felt the same?” he snapped, before inhaling roughly when a tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another. “Don’t . . . please. Regardless of how angry I feel, I can’t stand to see you cry.”
“I’m sorry.” She hiccuped, but couldn’t stop the outburst of emotion now that it had started.
“Jesus.” He sighed. She felt hands on first her shoulders, then her back, before she was pulled into a warm embrace. The scent, there it was. His cologne. He’d sent her a letter from Iraq and had added it, just as she’d put her perfume on some for him. “I need to leave. I’m tired and frankly a little overwhelmed. Returning to the States is challenging enough without playing the starring role in a sideshow.”
“It’s not like that. Please believe me. Where are you going to go?” she asked, suddenly terrified that she’d never see him again. He probably doesn’t believe a word you’ve said. Why would he?
He put his hands in his pockets as he rocked back on his heels. He did look exhausted and completely distant—so different from how she was used to seeing him during their hours on FaceTime together. “I booked a hotel room. I’m going to go check in and crash for a while.”
“And after that?” she asked quietly. Run like hell.