Even though this was not at all the time she would have picked to have a heart-to-heart talk with her brother, it did provide a temporary diversion. “I’ve loved being with Kaylee,” she said honestly. “You have an amazing daughter. And I might not know much about kids, but the main way that bonds are formed is by being there. Spending time with them. Listening to their hopes and fears. Because even at that young age, they have plenty of them to discuss. You have to become a main character and not part of the supporting cast.”
“Okay, that makes sense,” he mused. “I’m going to talk to Nicole while we’re gone, and we’re going to make some changes when we get back. We both lead busy lives, but that’s no excuse. You shouldn’t have to shoulder all the responsibility for raising our child. That must have put so much pressure on you. Obviously, you needed an escape; otherwise, this wouldn’t have happened today. We’ll give you more time off so you can have a social life with people you actually know. I’m sure Chloe could introduce you to some of her friends.”
As he continued outlining his plan to get her some socialization, she could only sit there and listen to him incredulously. He’s trying to fix me, as if I’m broken. Then what was really going on hit her. He’s scared. This thing with Gabe today had shaken not only her but him as well. But for two very different reasons. She was devastated over hurting the man she cared so much for. She also couldn’t imagine not talking to him every day. He’d become such a big part of her world. But Chris . . . he was clearly panicked at the thought of her leaving them behind and starting a life of her own. Not only was his daughter spoiled by her constant presence, but so was he. Her exit would cause a major upheaval for them. They were so used to Sara handling Kaylee’s care and whatever things they couldn’t get to. There were essentially three people in their marriage, instead of two. She was the one who took care of all the details they didn’t want to deal with. There was no way that he’d have ever approved of Gabe, regardless of how much the other man impressed him. Because he could only see the potential disruption he could cause. “I think I’m going to go lie down for a while,” she said when he’d finally paused. “I’ve got a bit of a headache.”
“Well, of course you do,” he said as he leaned over to kiss the top of her head. Wow, affection too? He’s really freaked. “Don’t worry about any of this. If that guy bothers you anymore, let me know and I’ll take care of it. You did the right thing—sending him on his way. Even if he has been truthful with you about everything—which I seriously doubt—your life is here. Responsibilities that neither of us can walk away from. Outside of your job, we have a mother that depends on both of us. Everyone has dreams, but they have to be balanced with reality. I can see how you would have been easily led astray by some pretty words—and whatever other nonsense he filled your head with. I’m just glad I was here when this happened. No telling how difficult he might have been if he hadn’t known I was right inside, watching.”
Talk about a glass of ice water over the head. His motivational talk bordered on insulting. She knew his heart was in the right place, but again he made her sound more like a wayward employee than his sister. Is that all I am to him? Sara got to her feet, having hit her limit for the moment. She desperately needed a quiet space to process the last hour—and to cry. She had no idea what she even said to Chris before she walked off. She covered the last few feet to her room in a dead run. She closed the door and locked it before leaning her back against the hard surface and sliding down until she was sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around her knees. Then the dam burst and all her anguish came pouring out. She couldn’t remember crying like this since she’d lost her father five years earlier. All she could see was Gabe’s stricken expression as he stared at her. She’d hurt him—badly. She wanted nothing more than to make it up to him. But how? He said the ball was in her court now, but she’d also picked up on his unspoken threat. It wasn’t an open-ended offer. He wouldn’t wait for her, and there were no guarantees that he’d forgive her either way. She had one shot, and the window was already closing on it. Unless . . . she could reason with him. Make him understand that she needed just a little longer. She jumped to her feet, intent on getting her iPad to e-mail him. But even as she tried to reassure herself that it could be that easy, she knew in her heart that it wouldn’t. His statement had implied she had a chance, but she was very much afraid that it had been over between them before the words had left his mouth.
* * *
• • •
How could I have been so damned gullible? Gabe had counseled his soldiers countless times on not taking anything at face value, especially relationships. Always trust your gut. If it seems too good to be true, it likely is. He’d said some version of that at least once a month. Yet he’d jumped headfirst down the same rabbit hole he’d advised against and had been blissfully happy doing it. Until today, when he’d been made an utter fool of. He had a hard time even thinking about the scene at Sara’s door without being equal parts furious and embarrassed. He might have been wary a few times along the way, but it had never seriously given him pause. She’d been so amazing it dazzled him. And not in the sexual kind of connection that a lot of his soldiers had fallen victim to. Although she was a beautiful woman and he was very attracted to her, it had been more than that between them. Her outgoing personality, along with her sweetness, had lured him in. Had she just been some hot bimbo, he would have given her the brush-off quickly. Was it all an illusion? What she wanted him to see?
Instead of checking into the hotel, Gabe drove straight to the airport. He was lucky enough to get a seat on a flight that left in two hours. He’d even been upgraded to first class, thanks to his military status. So he turned his car back in and had a beer at the sports bar. By the time the plane was boarding, his limbs felt heavy with fatigue. He stored his bag in the overhead bin and settled in next to a middle-aged businessman who seemed no more interested in small talk than he was.
This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. He’d warned Sara that he would cut all contact with her, and he meant to stick to that. But damn, it was hard. He felt as if he’d left a part of himself behind. She’d slowly become the center of his world over the last seven months. His confidant. His release. How did he go back to a life without that—without her? He was certain she’d be more than happy to pick up where they left off and continue their e-relationship, but that wasn’t enough for him. He’d been counting the days for the last month until he could be with her in person—and until today, he assumed that they both had. He couldn’t fathom settling into limbo, where there was nothing beyond FaceTime, texts, and phone calls. Those were amazing tools when you were deployed and forced to be apart from the person you loved. But that all ended when you came home.
A part of him wished he hadn’t surprised her today. He’d still be in that rosy bubble until she didn’t get on the plane. Maybe she will now that she knows you’re serious about her. That seemed about as likely to him as winning the lottery. His odds of being a millionaire were probably better. As much as it sucked, he needed to accept that the fantasy world they’d been living in was over. He wasn’t naive enough to believe it would be easy. For the first time, his heart literally ached. And even after all the humiliation he’d suffered at her hands, a part of him couldn’t stand leaving her behind. It felt wrong to him somehow. I seriously need to grow a pair.