Yet he did believe her. At first, he’d been ready to convict her without a trial based on the damning evidence. But most of the pieces had fallen into place when they’d been talking outside. And no husband would remain in the house after what had transpired inside. Yeah, he could give her a pass on all that. But what ticked him off was whether or not she was actually going to come see him in Anchorage. He couldn’t give a shit about the cost of the ticket. What really got him was how far she’d let it go without hitting the brakes. If she’d expressed concern and wanted to wait until after he was home to make plans, he’d have understood. But she hadn’t. Instead, she pretended to be just as excited as he was about their upcoming meeting. Knowing all the while that she had no intention of following through with it. Quite simply, she made him feel like a fool, and that was a first for him. It made him question his judgment. Was his head really so easily turned by a pretty face? He hadn’t believed he was such an easy target.
Gabe also had to wonder at what point she’d have made her excuses if he hadn’t shown up at her house. Would she have left him standing at the airport in Alaska until the crew had exited the aircraft?
The flight attendant was making the final announcements when his phone vibrated. Normally he’d have already put it in airplane mode, but he’d been too distracted to pay much attention to flight preparations. His gut twisted painfully when he saw that it was a text from her. Shit. Don’t read it. Yet even as he told himself that, he clicked to open it.
SARA: Gabe, I’m so sorry about what happened. I do want to come see you. Very much. If you’ll please give me a little more time. Everything I told you about my family arrangement is true, and therefore, they will need to cover everything I do while I’m with you in Anchorage. I hope you can forgive me. I care for you more than you’ll ever know. I miss you. Sara
He’d never been more grateful to feel a plane beginning to taxi toward the runway than he was now. He put his phone in the correct mode, which meant he kept his promise not to contact her. He hated how weak he was where she was concerned. He found it almost physically painful to ignore her message. She’d been a priority in his thoughts for so long that it was going to be a very hard habit to break. In Iraq, whenever he had a spare moment to himself, saying hello to her was the first thing he’d done. She’d pretty much assumed the role of his girlfriend—or heck, even his wife. He’d talked to her more than he had his friends or family.
He was at loose ends now, similar to what you’d go through after a breakup. The pain, the confusion, the doubts, the sense of loss. He wasn’t sure he even realized what a key part she’d played in his world until today. If this bothered her half as much as it bothered him, then he almost felt sorry for her. After all, he did care for her—a lot. Regardless of how they’d met, he’d felt a connection he’d never known before, and that would be hell to walk away from. Today is bad enough. They could easily be one of those couples you read about that met on the Internet and spent years talking but never took it further, though somehow he doubted that.
Could he keep her in his life as a friend? He could . . . but he didn’t see the point. He couldn’t be platonic with her. The spark between them was too bright. They might not have crossed over into straight-up sexting, but they weren’t innocent pals either. But if this was the end . . . then like any other loss—and he’d had many—he’d mourn and continue on.
He leaned his head back as the plane took off, gripping the hand rests as he always did until they reached cruising altitude. He glanced over at the guy sitting beside him, thinking once again that Sara should be there. He wasn’t a man given to romantic daydreams, but he’d imagined them holding hands at takeoff because she’d mentioned she was always nervous then. He’d have attempted to distract her. Probably made some reference to a past joke they’d shared or told her more about his home in Alaska. They’d never been at a loss for words, and even with the adjustment to physical proximity with each other, he didn’t see it being awkward, at least not for long. I may never know now. If she doesn’t make any overture to rearrange her family responsibilities, then I’ll have to conclude that it was only real to me. The words of her text kept bouncing around his mind, though, too hard to shut off. Too tempting to dismiss. I care for you more than you’ll ever know. I miss you. God, he already missed her too.
Damn, he needed to at least believe that it was insecurities that had made her deceive him. He didn’t want his sweet, sassy Sara to be anything other than the woman he’d come to know so well. There’s only one way she can prove that to you. That’s what it boiled down to. Otherwise, he’d never truly be rid of that inkling of doubt that she wasn’t the person he thought her to be. And it was sheer torment to have the image of the woman he’d developed such deep feelings for ruined. Distance yourself. Pack it up and shut it down.
Piece by piece, he pushed her out of his head, sealing that part of his mind off—for now. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep her locked away for long, though. Because he’d never had to compartmentalize someone who was not only in his head but in his heart as well. He had a bad feeling the same rules simply didn’t apply, but a guy could hope.
Chapter Fourteen
If Chloe made that annoying sound of disbelief one more time, Sara was afraid she’d lose it. She’d called her cousin for an emergency meeting as soon as Nicole and Chris had left the next morning. Her mother had even volunteered to babysit Kaylee that evening so she could meet Chloe for dinner. She’d been too distracted and too grateful to marvel at that unusual offer. It had been twenty-four hours of hell, and she’d about hit her limit. “Could you maybe say something instead of making that hopeless humming noise?”
“I’m trying to process here,” she grumbled. “This is seriously a big mess,” she added. Way to state the obvious.
“I’m aware of that,” Sara snapped. “Crap, sorry. My nerves are a little frayed. As if dealing with the whole Gabe thing wasn’t bad enough, I also heard my brother and his lovely wife talking about me last night.”
“Whoa, what?” Chloe choked out. “You didn’t mention that.”
Shrugging, Sara said, “It wasn’t my priority. It hurt, but not nearly as much as what happened with him.”
Chloe gave her an expectant look, then waved a hand in exasperation. “Do you want me to guess?”
They were in a corner booth in their favorite Mexican restaurant, and Sara paused to take a long drink of the jumbo margarita Chloe had ordered for her. “Well, Kaylee had Nicole’s makeup case hidden in her room, so I found it and took it upstairs so she wouldn’t wake us up looking for it before they left. Their door was cracked and I heard my name, so I stopped—and listened. Chris was telling her about Gabe and what had happened earlier. Which pissed me off, but I wasn’t really surprised. I figured he would. You know what she asked him first? If Gabe was ugly. As if she couldn’t believe anyone attractive would be interested in me.”