They run through my mind constantly, those negative, soul-draining questions. With every appointment, we’re assured by the doctors that our baby boy is perfectly healthy. But I can’t help it. Bulimia and its aftereffects will never stop plaguing me, just like Sinclair’s alcoholism will stick with him for life.
He pulls me into his arms, hugging me as tightly as the bump between us will allow.
“Our son is tough, he’s healthy, and you’re the perfect mother for him. We all have pasts and we’ve all fucked up. But you treat your body like a temple now. You eat better than anyone I know, you’re constantly exercising or on your feet. You learned from your mistakes, just like I did with mine. And we’re both still learning. But nothing is going to happen to our son. I won’t let it.”
I bury my face in his shirt, nodding and breathing deeply in and out as he rubs my back. There is no one in this world who can get inside my head and heart like he can.
“Now come sit down and let me give you a foot rub. You’re in your third trimester and I haven’t done even one tenth of my baby daddy duties.” He pats the couch. “Look, I’ll even feed you berries.”
Intense relief seems to make my shoulders sag as I sink into the big sectional. “Who needs orgasms when you can have foot rubs and fruit?
As Sinclair digs his thumb into the arch of my foot and I let out a satisfied groan, I open my eyes to meet those sparkling, stormy blue ones.
“Oh, sweetheart, you won’t be saying that when you see what I have planned.”
Lust, hot and heavy, races up my spine as he moves those skilled hands from my foot, up my calf, and behind my knee. A jolt of sensation, one I had no idea could occur from his fingers pressed behind my kneecap, hits me square in that little bundle of nerves between my thighs.
Sinclair’s expression is wolfish, a devil in plain clothes if I ever saw one. “There are much better things coming, if you catch my drift.”
34
Sinclair
“Are you okay?”
Frankie asks me this for the third time since we got in the car, and I know I have to focus.
Apparently, since getting sober, I’m fucking shit at keeping a secret. I used to be a charmer; the guy known for greasing wheels and appearing unfazed under pressure. Now, I could barely keep my hands from slipping off the steering wheel they were so sweaty.
Maybe it’s because I want this day to go off without a hitch. I haven’t really been in on the planning; I let my mom, Colleen, and Hannah handle it. But it’s a day all about celebrating Francesca and our son, and I just want her to feel so loved and pampered.
“I’m fine. Just, uh, haven’t had enough coffee today.”
I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. Perhaps because this is our first real event with the family as a couple. Frankie and I have been back together for two weeks now, and we’ve holed up in either one of our houses making up for lost time. Which we did primarily naked, thus not seeing a lot of people for the last fourteen days. I had a lot of exploring of Frankie’s pregnant body to do, and I wasn’t done yet.
Today, though, was the first time we were getting out of the house and spending time with the Callahan clan. And it’s for a party, though Frankie doesn’t know that. You’re not exactly supposed to tell your pregnant girlfriend about her surprise baby shower.
“Do you feel all right?” She reaches her hand across the car and puts the back of it to my forehead.
“You’re such a mom already,” I tease her.
“No fever.” She ignores me. “Hm, I think you’re suffering from dickitis. Which means we should get you home and naked stat.”
The minx smirks at me. And even though I need to pay attention driving and getting her and our baby safely to Walker’s house, I think about doing a donut and circling back to my place.
Except I know she’s avoiding. “This will be fun, I promise.”
Frankie shrugs in the passenger seat. “I still get nervous to be around your family. It’s not something I really did growing up, get together with dozens of relatives. I don’t even have five relatives I know about.”
“I know it’s an adjustment, but just know everyone wants you around. They’ve only spent short amounts of time with you, and already I think they like you more than they like me.”
That makes her laugh, and my soul calms a little bit. I reach across the center console and rest my hand on her thigh until she turns it up to lace her fingers through mine.
When we pull up to Walker’s house, I’m silently impressed that they managed to avoid having everyone’s cars in the driveways. I told Mom a small affair, which means she probably invited seventy-five people. But there are only three cars as I park behind Hannah’s black Escalade.
“Have I told you how gorgeous you look today? And every day?” My hand helps my woman as she grunts to stand up, and I steady her.
Frankie taps a finger to her chin as she slows her breathing. “Only every other moment.”
I grin. Good. She should know how adored she is.
I brace myself as we walk up the front steps to Walker and Hannah’s palatial home. I know what’s behind this door, but she doesn’t, and I’m ready to hold her up if it gives her too much of a shock. Shit, I hope this doesn’t send her into labor or something. I hadn’t considered that. But I guess women have surprise baby showers all the time. Right?
Turning the doorknob, I’m ready for the shouts. What I’m not ready for is the entire place to be decked out in varying shades of blue, with balloons and giant teddy bears everywhere. And I mean everywhere.
“Surprise!”
A ton of people pop out from every nook and cranny of Walker’s foyer, and Frankie startles with a yelp. She presses her hand to her chest and starts to laugh, gasp, and tear up all at the same time.
“You did this?” She turns to me with stars in her eyes.
“I had the idea, but had a lot of help executing.”
“Sin …” She breathes, giving a surprised, happy wave to all of the people smiling back at her.
Then she comes toward me as I open my arms and presses up on her toes to give me a kiss—in front of everyone.
My heart surges with the fact that I can touch her, kiss her, claim her in public. And that she’s claiming me. There is no more hiding or uncertainty; we’re a unit.
“Come on, we have to show you the stroller!” Hannah runs up and takes Frankie by the hand.
Half the women, about thirty from my family, follow them to ooh and ahh over the mountain of gifts in the living room.
“How am I going to get all of those back to my house? I’m going to need to rent a tractor trailer,” I muse as Walker, Hayes, and Garrett walk up.
“Oh, it took nearly that to get them all in here.” My brother chuckles.
“I think you’ve got enough diapers for a nuclear apocalypse.” Garrett wrinkles his nose, I’m sure at the thought of changing one.
“Nah, that’ll only last about a month.” Dad joins our circle, and Walker and I look at him like he’s grown another head.
“You … you changed diapers? For some reason, I really can’t picture that.” Walker stares off as if he’s trying to picture it.