But the minute I step into the court room, I know it’s a huge mistake. I watch my family standing around Walker, Hannah, and my soon-to-be nieces, which they are anyway in everything but legality at this point. And there is just this love glowing, almost as if you could see it. They all hold on to their spouses or children, and everyone is basking in the family love in this room.
It’s at this moment that I realize what a huge mistake I’ve made. Because I want my person beside me, I want to feel my son growing in her belly as she lays her head on my shoulder to watch my brother officially complete his family.
“Uncle Sin, pick me up!” Breanna comes running over, and I catch her before swinging her up onto my hip.
“Where is Frankie?” Hannah peers around me, barely caring that I’m here.
“Hi to you too, sis,” I joke, kissing her on the cheek.
“I just thought she would come. She’s family.” Hannah looks disappointed.
“Well, she might have, but I didn’t ask her.”
They both blink at me and then give me equally furious looks.
“You moron.” Walker looks like he wants to smack me, so I use his kid as a shield. “And a coward, too. Don’t use my cute little girl as a way out of this. I told you to bring her.”
He had, actually.
“It’s complicated.” But my heart says it’s not.
Colleen walks up, eavesdropping on our conversation. “It’s not, actually. Your family loves her. No one cares that she’s an employee. She’s having your baby. And you’re in love with her.”
“I never told you that …” I try to argue, but they all give me stern, knowing looks.
“Don’t act like we’re idiots,” Walker tells me.
Colleen puts a hand on my shoulder. “I dealt with this, once upon a time. Love or duty. Family or following my heart. And I’m telling you, cousin-to-cousin, as your GM, I don’t care about this. I don’t see it as a breach of either of your employment. Frankie won’t be judged on her connection to you, and we value her work more than we value yours.”
“Hey,” I protest.
Colleen shrugs. “We do, sorry.”
“She is damn good as a strength coach,” Walker agrees.
“Thanks for being on my side, guys.” I roll my eyes.
“No one needs to take sides.” Hayes finally steps into the conversation. “Believe me, she loves you, too. I haven’t even spent that much time with her, but I know what it’s like to fall for a Callahan when you don’t necessarily want to. Go get her, Sin.”
My head swivels between them all, and a sureness settles like a warm, lush blanket over my heart. I am a moron. What the hell was I thinking? This woman is everything I’ve always wanted, our family is everything I’ve always wanted. Maybe I just needed to get this one last idiotic thing out of my system, but now I see how stupid I’ve been.
“Do you mind if I—”
Walker shakes his head, a small smile on his face. “Take off, brother. Meet us, with her, at the dinner Hannah set up.”
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I kiss Noelle and Breanna on the tops of their heads before I sprint out of the court room doors.
Today, two families are going to be signed, sealed, and delivered.
36
Frankie
My mood has been sour all day.
Maybe it’s because it’s raining or that my baby boy has been sitting on my bladder for twenty-four hours, and I pee every five seconds. Part of me misses Florida as the brittle cold seeps in through the windows of my quaint little ranch.
Those things probably contribute a little to my attitude, but the biggest factor is that Sinclair isn’t here. Not only that he isn’t here, but he decided to go to the adoption hearing for Walker and Hannah’s girls without me.
I’m the one who has been hesitant about becoming a part of the Callahan family. I’m the one who has needed an extra push, who needs to be reassured whenever we walk into family dinners. But just when I started to feel comfortable, to really believe I was part of their inner-circle and that Sinclair and I were going to be a fortified unit … he backed off.
He got weird.
I can’t describe it, or why I know it, but I just feel it in my bones. It happened a day or two ago, out of the blue. I could feel his distance, even though he wasn’t acting all that differently. It was in how he held himself, how he couldn’t meet my eyes all the way.
Then he had shrugged off going together to the adoption, and I knew. A niggle of fear, of heartbreak, washed over me in that moment. He’s going to end this, whether he has the balls to be the one to call it off or not. Whether he could see it yet or not, he’s retreating, hiding parts of himself from me.
As I sit on my couch, trying not to cry, I run over the options in my head. If he ends this but still wants to see the baby, what will I do? It will be like stabbing myself in the heart, dropping our child off to him and not being able to stay, to see them together.
What if he doesn’t want in? What if this is his way of bowing out of both being in love with me and being a father?
A series of knocks at my door has my head whipping away from what I was barely interested in on the TV. The knocks don’t stop, and I have a sneaking suspicion about who is on the other end of them.
I rise, dread filling my heart and a pit in my stomach, and get the door.
“Frankie.” Sinclair breathes like he’s just been running a marathon.
“What?” I don’t even try to hide my anger and hurt. I’m far too pregnant for that.
“I’m an idiot. I just raced over here from the court house. I should have brought you, I’m sorry, so sorry—”
“You just let me leave. You shrugged me off with a wave and got on a plane, never looked back. I was coming to tell you that I wanted to be with you, that I didn’t care about the distance. And you just … left. You clearly demonstrated how you felt about us. How was I supposed to call you and tell you that you were going to be tied to me indefinitely, when you could barely stand to have a conversation before you left?”
My feelings, the ones I’ve pent up since Florida, come spilling out. As they tend to do with us women when we get in an argument, but using past fodder is fair game when he’s pissed me off this badly.
“Wait, what?” Sinclair looks like he’s trying to keep up.
I stalk off into the house, using my hands to accentuate just how pissed I am. Now that he’s here, I’m ready to unleash.
“And you did it again, today. You left me behind. Is that what our whole life would be together? When our son arrives, will I just become scenery in the background? Not good enough to bring around, but good enough to undress and play with when we’re alone.”
He wipes a hand down his face. “Francesca, I am so sorry. I was a fucking coward. But this … this was my check swing. And I’ll never do it again. I’ll swing every time, even if it means going down. Striking out. I’m here, every step of the way.”
His check swing. The idea blooms in my head, and my anger pauses. “A check swing?”
Sinclair scrubs the back of his neck with his hand. “Yeah. I wasn’t sure, I was scared. My fear made me balk, the uncertainty had me pulling out at the last moment. But I’m here now. I’m certain, so sure that I would throw my arms out swinging for the fences. I will never leave you, Francesca. I swear to God, it’s just you, me, and our son.”