“Of course, I changed diapers … okay, some. Maybe a couple,” Dad spitballs. “But regardless, I know how many you two went through. And it’s a shit ton. Pun intended.”
I almost choke on my own tongue. Did my father just make a joke? A joke about babies, no less. At my girlfriend’s baby shower?
“Thanks for coming, Dad.” I genuinely thank him because his energy seems like he’s trying.
He nods. “Wouldn’t miss this. I have to go put my guess in for how many baby socks are in that jar.”
Then he walks off.
“Did someone snatch him? We’re sure that’s Daniel Callahan, right?” Hayes looks bewildered.
We don’t have time to chat more because we’re ushered into the living room, where the women start the most impressive assembly line of gift opening I’ve ever seen. I swear, they could fix the DMV in one afternoon with this system.
And as I watch, I realize Frankie and I won’t need to buy a single thing for this kid; my family has covered it all. My eyes barely leave Frankie as she coos over tiny boy clothing, handmade blankets, and plushy stuffed animals. I guess I haven’t really thought about her as a mother yet, since we’re still enjoying being a couple and the idea of our baby.
But my God, she’s going to make a fantastic one. I know we’re both anxious about it and feel unprepared, but she shouldn’t be at all. She has this natural glow and knowledge to her, and watching her handle the items with care shows me just one-hundredth of how loving she’ll be to our son.
“We have a onesie painting activity! Come on, everyone has to participate.” Colleen claps her hands, keeping the party going.
“Can’t we eat the cake yet?” Frankie asks. “I’m no artist.”
“This will be fun,” I promise her, helping her up from the gift chair and supporting her weight as we walk to the dining room. “Plus, I’ll go sneak you a piece of cake after everyone is seated.”
“You’re the best.” She kisses me, full on the mouth.
Once everyone is seated, I make good on my promise and cut her a huge slice of cake before the guests even have a chance to see it. Upon my return, I sit next to Frankie and watch as everyone begins decorating their little white piece of fabric.
Dahlia, Hannah’s sister, sits at the end of the table next to Clark. I’m not sure why Clark is at this baby shower, since he’s technically more of Walker’s friend than mine, but I’m sure he weaseled his way in. The Pistons reliever doesn’t have much family, and we’ve kind of adopted him over the years.
The two of them are making flirty eyes at each other. I can sort of remember now that they used to hook up. Or maybe they still are. Either way, Hannah is giving her sister an anxious glance, leading me to believe she doesn’t love that pairing.
Which is odd, since Hannah is usually the most understanding of us all. Not that I blame her, Clark is as bad as me in my heyday when it comes to women.
“Walk, yours looks like … a pig?” Colleen looks confused.
“It’s a baseball.” My brother pouts.
Hayes snorts. “How did you manage to make a circle not round?”
“I’m an athlete, not an artist. Jesus, cut me some slack!” He throws his hands up.
“Well, at least he has a theme. My onesie just turned into a glob of well-meaning paint.” Dahlia pouts at hers.
“I think it looks good,” Garrett pipes up, zeroing straight in on her cleavage and nowhere near the onesie.
Hannah’s eyes narrow even further at him, and I chuckle under my breath. These men better watch out when it comes to my sister-in-law.
“How about mine?” Colleen holds hers up.
It’s three puzzle pieces that all fit together, one with my name, one with Frankie’s, and a tiny one in the middle that says baby.
“Colleen, that’s beautiful.” I hear the emotion in Frankie’s voice.
“We’re really happy you’re in this family now,” Colleen says matter-of-factly.
Under the table, I seek my woman’s hand. She meets me in the middle, apparently looking to do the same.
“Garrett, you can’t draw a penis!” Walker chides the rookie.
That breaks the moment, and everyone bursts out laughing at his not-suitable-for-work onesie.
I wink at Frankie. “Guess our little guy really is going to take after his dad more than his mom.”
35
Sinclair
The court room is packed wall to wall, and I swear the entire Callahan family plus Hannah’s relatives from Hawaii and California have taken up residence in here.
Today, Walker is adopting Noelle and Breanna as his own daughters. It’s been a long time coming, and this is just a piece of paper, but the sentiment means more.
They’re finally going to be a complete, no-question-about-it family.
Here I am, solo as I’ve always been. And that’s because I like to fuck my own life up, time and time again. Because I avoided asking Frankie if she wanted to come, I didn’t invite her even when she gushed about how special it would be for Walker to finally adopt them. I actively didn’t engage, because I was in my head too much.
The baby shower brought up a lot of emotions that I’d been tamping down for most of my life. I am now responsible for her heart, for her happiness, and for the well-being of our son. For a guy who had only taken control of his life less than two years ago, that’s a lot on one plate. I thought I was ready, but then I woke up yesterday morning and wanted to balk.
This is a private, family-only event. Being that Walker and Hannah have gone through so much to get to this point, they didn’t need anyone who wasn’t a close connection sharing this moment.
But … Frankie is close. She is the mother of my child, we’re going to bring another little Callahan into the world. And she is a part of my life, a part of all of our lives. Walker would not care if she came, in fact, he’d be happy if I brought her. Something in me had hesitated, though.
There is still the matter of Frankie being an employee of my family’s ball club. It’s an awkward spot to be in. She works for us, technically, but is also kind of part of the family if you count that she’ll be birthing a Callahan. I’m terrified to mix those two worlds, lest things fall apart between us. I don’t plan on that, but what if she decides she wants out?
What if she decides she doesn’t want to do this with me? That would probably mean leaving the Pistons organization, and I could never forgive myself for that. Frankie has worked so hard to get where she’s at in her career. And what would her colleagues say if they knew she was pregnant with the owner’s son’s baby? Scratch that, they definitely already know, even though she hasn’t broached the subject with me. They’d think she earned that promotion on her back, no matter how good she is at her job.
There are just a hundred factors to weigh, and it feels like we’re standing on razor-thin wires resting on skyscrapers trying to figure them out. I’m happy as fuck, but I don’t want it all to come crashing down. Once again, my fear is holding me back.
So I didn’t ask her to come today, to witness this miracle of a moment and take in all the joy.