She made a move as if to turn and return to her car but I grabbed her wrist and pulled her against me. She didn’t resist, but despair flashed in her eyes. “Let me go. You have to accept my decision. And let’s be honest, in a year or maybe less you’ll have found a new girl to get cozy with, someone who doesn’t have the Russian mafia at her back, or who’s as messed up as I am.”
“I like your kind of baggage and your messed-up brain. I want you, and no one else.”
I lowered my head and kissed her fiercely and for a moment she kissed me back with the same passion, only fueled with despair, then she ripped away. “It’s over, Adamo. Accept it. Move on. It’s what I’ll do.” She stumbled toward the car.
“Does returning to your old life include getting back together with Dima?” I asked, jealousy raging in my body. Fuck. I wanted to ram my knife into Dima’s stupid face. He was pretending to be busy with his phone, but I wasn’t buying it for a moment. He was paying close attention to what was going on between Dinara and me.
Dinara stiffened but when she faced me her expression was cold. “Maybe. But from this day on, it’s none of your business.” She ripped open the door of her Toyota.
“You can’t run away from what we have, Dinara. We both know that emotions, dark or light, follow you wherever you run.”
Dinara swung herself into the car and slammed her door shut. She turned to Dima and said something. He briefly glanced my way. He didn’t look triumphant but I still wanted to kill him. The engine roared up and then Dinara’s Toyota raced away, only leaving a cloud of dust behind.
“Fuck!” I snarled as I watched her drive away. My breathing was harsh and my heart galloped in my chest. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. I needed to think. Right now, my first impulse was to take our Camorra jet and fly to Chicago to put a bullet into Grigory’s head, and into every fucker’s head who thought he could keep me away from Dinara.
After a few more deep breaths, I pulled out my phone and called Remo. Usually Nino was the person I called to ask for advice. He was the voice of reason after all. “Adamo—”
“I need your advice,” I interrupted him.
“I thought Nino was your advisor of choice.”
I didn’t say anything. Of course, Remo would put his finger into the wound.
“That you choose me to give you advice tells me you already made up your mind and need encouragement for an irrational and emotionally charged endeavor Nino would disapprove of.”
“I hate that you read people so well,” I muttered. He was right as usual.
“I assume this is about Dinara. You and her completed your list, so your reasons to be together have to be evaluated anew.”
“That sounds like Nino.”
“No one’s been on the receiving end of Nino’s logical advice more often than me. I can anticipate his advice without talking to him.”
“And yet you always do whatever the fuck you want.”
“Just what you have in mind,” he said with dark amusement.
“Dinara ended things between us because her father threatened my life.” I fell silent. I wasn’t a kid anymore, but Remo’s protectiveness hadn’t really caught up on that yet.
“Did he now?” Remo asked in a voice that rang my alarm bells.
“I don’t want you to handle him. This is my problem, Remo. Your involvement could end things with Dinara for good. I’ll deal with Grigory.”
“If Grigory lays a hand on you, he’ll pay the consequences, Adamo. You are my brother and I’ll rip his Russian ass apart if he touches you.”
This was Remo’s way of showing he cared for me. I knew that now, but I couldn’t allow it. “I’ll handle things. If I want to win Dinara back, I’ll have to show her how serious I am.”
“You plan to go to Chicago.”
“Yes. I have to. If I risk my life, she’ll realize I won’t give her up no matter what.”
“And you expect me to give you the okay for this suicidal bullshit?” Remo growled.
“You would do the same if our roles were reversed. You never cared about your life when the people you love were involved. You allowed Cavallaro to torture you for me and Serafina. A painful death was as good as certain, but you didn’t care. Now it’s my turn to follow in your manic footsteps.”
“You are becoming too much like me, Adamo,” Remo said.
“I thought you’d be happy.”
“You were supposed to be the good Falcone.”
I scoffed. “We both know that would have never worked.”
“You might have to kill Grigory,” Remo said.
“If I kill him, Dinara won’t ever forgive me. I’ll have to convince him—”
“Or die.”
“That’s not the outcome I’m hoping for.”
“It’s not an outcome I can allow, you realize that.”
“I want your promise that you won’t go on a killing spree if things don’t work out. I’m the one who’s intruding on Grigory’s territory. If he decides to kill me, he’s got every right to do so.”
“And as your brother, I have every right to seek revenge.”
“Remo,” I gritted out. “I don’t want you to avenge me. If her father got killed as well, that would break Dinara.”
“If she really loves you, she won’t allow her father to kill you, and if she can’t stop him, she should be happy if I kill him.”
For Remo, many things were black and white, especially where loyalty was concerned. Deep down, I hoped Dinara wouldn’t allow her father to kill me, but above all, I wanted to convince him of my feelings for his daughter.
“If Greta fell in love with an enemy, could he stop you from killing him if his love for her was true and if he tried to prove it to you by risking his life?”
“No,” Remo said without hesitation.
“Even if that meant Greta would never forgive you?”
“Greta can’t be separated from Nevio, nor should she be separated from her family. We are her safe haven. I’d never allow anyone to take that from her, not even for love.”
“Okay, maybe Greta wasn’t the best example, but Dinara doesn’t have trouble adapting to new surroundings. She loved living in camp with me.”
“But being with you still means you’re taking her away from Grigory. He lost her once before and he hasn’t forgiven himself for it yet. Allowing her to be with you means putting her at risk in enemy territory, away from his power.”
“I’ll have to give it a try,” I said imploringly.
“Do what you must, you are an adult. But tell Grigory that I’ll destroy everything he holds dear if he touches you.”
“Will do,” I said, even if I had absolutely no intention to follow through.
After my conversation with Remo, I was determined to go through with my plan. This was insanity but if that was what it took to convince Dinara and her father that we had to be together, then I’d do it.
I rented a private jet instead of taking one of the Camorra’s. If I showed up with a Camorra jet, Grigory might consider it a threatening gesture, but I wasn’t here as a Camorrista. I was here as Adamo.