‘Yes. Sorry about that.’ He hesitated. ‘Look, Sarah—’
‘I won’t keep you long,’ she cut in quickly, her stomach twisting as she imagined what he was about to say. ‘I just needed some advice. A favour, really.’
‘As in?’ he asked cautiously.
‘I found Laura’s Facebook profile,’ she said, deciding not to beat around the bush, on the basis that he already thought what he thought about her anyway.
‘Right,’ was his weary response, which succinctly summed up how he felt.
‘She’s been married.’ Sarah pushed on regardless. ‘She said she hadn’t. She also has a child.’
He went quiet, then, ‘A child?’ he repeated, his tone incredulous.
‘A boy,’ she confirmed. ‘He has blonde hair, blue eyes – and she’s never even mentioned him.’
‘I see,’ Joe said, and paused.
Did he see? Whether or not he was reassessing his opinion of her didn’t matter. What mattered was did he see?
‘And you think he looks like Ollie?’ he asked, after an interminably long moment.
He did. Sarah breathed a huge sigh of relief. ‘Remarkably like him. I wondered if you could find out more about him, and about Laura’s history? There’s not much to go on on her profile, other than the posts. I’m going to speak to Steve, obviously, but the more information I have, the better. He might already know, of course, but you have to wonder why he’s never mentioned it. Why neither of them have said anything about the existence of this child.’
Joe hesitated before answering. ‘I’d like to help,’ he said, after a second. ‘The thing is, I’m not sure how I can. The national database will only identify people who’ve committed a crime, and Facebook is a tricky area. We would need to make a legal request to access data. We can apply directly to Facebook now, but it’s still a lengthy process. If there’s a risk of serious injury, death, or imminent harm to a child, they might release data, but—’
‘There is a risk of imminent harm, Joe, to Ollie,’ Sarah interrupted forcefully. ‘And what about the child? Where is he? He could well be …’ She stopped, stunned, as she heard a female voice in the background.
‘Joe?’ the woman called. ‘Sorry to be a pain, but do you think you could come and help me with the bath tap? The hot water’s not running properly.’
‘Shit,’ Joe muttered, not quite under his breath. ‘One minute,’ he called back. ‘Sorry,’ he addressed Sarah. ‘I’m at—’
‘No explanations necessary,’ she said frostily. ‘It’s none of my business, I’m sure.’
‘It’s Courtney,’ he went on, nevertheless. ‘My ex-wife. She was upset, and I—’
‘I know who she is,’ Sarah replied, remarkably calmly considering her heart felt as if it was fracturing inside her. ‘You’d better go and warm her up, hadn’t you?’
‘Sarah …’ Joe groaned. ‘She was upset. She needed someone. I—’
‘So you offered her a shoulder?’ Sarah replied, unable now to keep the biting cynicism from her voice. ‘Sounds to me like someone else is obsessed with their ex, Joe.’
Twenty-Four
Joe
Cursing silently, Joe unscrewed the cap on the tap and tightened the nut under it, which had mysteriously come loose. ‘All done,’ he said, straightening up. ‘It’s getting a bit late. I’ll get off and leave you to it.’
‘You’re going already?’ Courtney asked, sounding surprised.
‘I’m due at my girlfriend’s.’ Joe turned to where she was standing in the bathroom doorway and his heart sank. She was undressed, wearing nothing but a hand towel, which barely covered the essentials. Christ. What was she doing?
‘Oh,’ she said, sounding piqued. ‘I thought …’
‘Thought what?’ Joe asked, trying hard to keep his eyes averted as he squeezed past her.
‘Nothing.’ She followed him down the short corridor to the lounge area. ‘It’s just … I didn’t think your phone call ended very amicably.’
She’d obviously been listening. He turned, squinting at her semi-amusedly. ‘We’re fine,’ he lied. ‘She wondered why I would be in the company of a woman shouting about bath taps, obviously – my bedsit doesn’t have a bath,’ he reminded her, possibly childishly, ‘but she’ll be fine when I explain.’ He doubted very much that Sarah would be anything of the sort. Would he if the shoe were on the other foot?
Courtney dropped her gaze, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Was it genuine? Joe didn’t think so. Courtney didn’t get embarrassed easily. ‘You won’t tell her everything, will you?’ She looked back at him, tears welling in her eyes, Joe noted, sighing inwardly. ‘About the baby, I mean. I know you have to tell her something, but …’
Her hand strayed to her stomach, and Joe felt his heart twist. She might have been lying. The baby might not even have been his. She’d told so many lies when they were together, each one tripping glibly off her tongue and piercing his chest like a knife, he’d struggled to believe anything she said in the end. This vulnerability, though? This was different. Not the Courtney he knew.
‘It’s just … it still feels so raw.’ She dropped her gaze again. ‘I know it’s all been a shock for you and that you might feel you need someone to talk to, but …’
Joe did. He’d thought he’d found that someone. Now, because of his own stupidity, he’d probably lost her.
‘I think I’m still grieving, to be honest.’ She looked back at him, her eyes filled with such heartache, Joe couldn’t help but feel for her. ‘I know how badly you wanted children, and that part of you will probably be grieving too,’ she went on, wiping a tear from her cheek. ‘I’m probably the last person you feel you could talk to, but … I don’t know, I can’t bear the thought of you talking to a stranger about him. Can you understand?’
Him? It was a boy? Joe felt something crack inside him. ‘Yes,’ he said gruffly. ‘I get it.’ He wasn’t sure he did, but he doubted very much he would be talking to anyone about this. It wasn’t the sort of thing he would discuss with his colleagues. Who else did he have, apart from Sarah? She was highly unlikely to be in the listening mood.
‘I knew you would.’ Courtney smiled sadly. ‘You’re a good man, Joe. I was an idiot to let you go.’
Joe knew how she felt. He was very much the idiot right now, for letting Sarah go. For not being there for her when he should have been. For calling her from the apartment. Why was he here? Would it have been too late for him and Courtney if she had carried the baby full term? Could they have somehow mended their relationship? No, they couldn’t; he knew that categorically. They were way past broken; irreparable. He’d been devastated by her infidelity, crushed inside for so long. And then one day he’d woken up to the fact that he’d simply stopped loving her. He could have co-parented, though. Would have, willingly.