After an hour or so, they both admit defeat and take a well-earned break. Jake sits by me and holds my hand as Matthew points to the pool. “I’m going back in to cool off.”
Jake nods. “Okay, son. I’ll join you in a bit.” We both watch as Matthew sprints back to the pool and dives in.
Jake tugs at my hand. “Are you okay?”
I look into his eyes and smile. “I’m fine. Just a bit worried, that’s all. You’re not going to get into trouble over this Tony thing, are you?”
He waves me off dismissively. “No, of course not. Like everything, it will all blow over soon. It always does.”
“I don’t need protecting. If there is something going on, you can tell me. I’ll only find out when I go back to work on Monday anyway.”
Jake’s mouth takes on a hard line as he shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” I ask, baffled.
“You need your rest. You’ve been to hell and back and need to recuperate.”
I shake my head. “I’m fine. Stop fussing.”
Jake leans over and grabs my hips. He fixes me with a serious stare. “I think you’re taking this whole thing a bit too well. You don’t talk about it at all. You just seem to be acting … too normal. It unnerves me.”
My heart starts hammering in my chest at the thought of Tony. “I can’t let him win,” I find myself saying. “If I’m a mess, it means all that he’s done was worth taking to the grave with him. I refuse to give him the satisfaction.” A sudden tear wells up in my eye at the thought. Jake quickly pulls my chair closer and wraps his arms around me. “I need this, Jake. I need to be normal. I need to get back to work and back to living my life.”
Jake strokes my hair trying to calm me. “I know. It’s just the press are sniffing around at the moment, trying to get your name. I would hate to think you went back to work and somehow they found you. I thought it would be a good idea if you just stayed at home a bit, rested, and then hopefully the press will get bored and go away. I don’t want anything or anyone else to hurt you. You know that, don’t you?”
I nod my head in his shoulder. “I know. That’s one of the reasons why I love you.”
He pulls me away to look at me. “Just one of the reasons?” he asks. “What other reasons are there?” He gives me that mischievous smile, which lights up my heart.
“I’m not really sure I should tell you. I know how big your head is, and it will only make it harder for me to get you back inside the house.” I smirk at him, suddenly feeling better.
“Ha, ha, again with the big head joke. I’m going for a dip before my head explodes all over your lovely new dress. I wouldn’t want to spoil that in a million years. You look simply good enough to eat in it. But then again, you always do.” He winks at me and runs off, leaving me a puddle of overheated mush on the chair. No matter what, Jake has this uncanny way of looking like sin … sin I want to lick, suck, and bite all over.
31
The rest of the week is very pleasant. Jake and I spend the mornings in bed together while our afternoons and evenings are spent with Matthew. Jake’s constantly a fussy bugger, but he let it slip how guilty he feels for not being with me when it all went down. He says that he had promised to keep me safe, and he hasn’t lived up to that promise so far. I keep trying to tell him that it isn’t his fault and that he couldn’t have known what would happen. I remind him that I am safe now. I tell him that although I am still somewhat shaken, I am happy, which is completely because of him. Although he isn’t content after hearing these things, they do seem to ease him a bit.
However, that doesn’t last long.
There is an unpleasant moment when we are buying groceries and I think I see Tony. I instantly run back to the car. I sit there—hyperventilating—while Jake tries to calm me down after unloading the food. It is then he insists I get in touch with Dr. Townsend immediately and book an appointment. Reluctantly, I make one for Friday morning.
She’s a lovely, middle-aged lady, and after hearing about my history and current problems, she attempts to medicate me for the panic attacks. I explain that I prefer not to use medication, so she teaches me some steps that I can take if I feel another attack coming on.
To begin with, I am supposed to focus on something non-threatening, take slow, deep breaths, and try to think of something positive until it passes. Impressing me, she continues by suggesting that if I ever think I am seeing Tony again, I should face my fears long enough to take a detailed look at that person, observing him as closely as possible. She says I will soon see that whoever I am looking at is not him, and I need to remind myself that it can’t ever be him, and he can’t possibly hurt me anymore.
We schedule another appointment for the following week, and I begin to concentrate on our impending dinner with Cindy this evening.
Jake and I get all the ingredients from the supermarket. I insist that I make everyone’s favorite, chicken cacciatore, and I buy a pecan pie for dessert. It’s important for me to keep busy, and Jake has no arguments when he realizes what I’m going to cook.
The meal with Cindy is very pleasant. She and Matthew are both elated that school has finally ended. Talking with her is very easy, and she seems to have her head screwed on the right way. She wants to follow in her father’s footsteps and become a lawyer. Both Matthew and Cindy look smitten, and it’s a joy to see such happiness surrounding the dinner table.
Sunday soon comes around, and Jessie’s visit is short, but it’s nice to finally see her again after so long. She talks about what’s happening at work, and nothing much has changed … apart from this new guy, David Willis. He has already managed to sleep with one of the policewomen at the office—Sadie—and then he wouldn’t speak to her at all afterwards. That seems to be the newest hot gossip going around the station at the moment. It sounds like my first impression of him was right. I bet he and Tom will be best friends. It makes me wonder how Michael feels about that.
Monday comes as soon as Sunday had, and everyone at work is so supportive. It’s good to finally return to work and get back into the swing of things. The reporters have finally managed to find out that the girl Tony was obsessing with works at the station. They’re hanging around outside, trying to get more answers after discovering that—or a possible glimpse of who was involved.
One of them eyes me suspiciously, and that alone precipitates another panic attack. I have to quickly run to the toilets to try and ride it out. Jessie notices and runs in after me, trying to calm me down. I’m a mess for the rest of the day, but I try my hardest not to think about it anymore.
A couple more days pass, and it happens again. This same reporter corners me on the way to my car and tries to ask me questions. I scream at him to leave me alone, and I drive off as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, I know I didn’t get out before he managed to get a snapshot of me. I ring Jake, and he’s furious. He tries looking for this reporter, but he’s nowhere to be seen. He probably took his chance to escape as soon as he had at least part of what he’d come for.
The next day, my picture is in the daily paper. The caption reads, “Is this the woman who captured the heart of a psycho killer?”