I’m mortified, and again I can’t go to work for a few days after. I have to try and hide from the incessant press breathing down my neck.
Jake speaks to a lawyer to see if we can sue the papers, but in the end, we both feel it’s necessary to leave well enough alone. Pursuing it might only serve to create more tabloid headlines. I definitely can’t deal with that right now.
It’s been a hard couple of weeks, but just like all sensational news stories, this one has finally died down after being replaced by another new and sensational story. This one is about a senator who’s having an affair. For now, that is the biggest news everyone’s talking about. I don’t care as long as the pressure is finally off of me.
32
September’s here before I know it, and I’m in a much happier place. Jake and I are more in love than ever, and my wounds—both physically and mentally—are healing. Dr. Townsend has been and continues to be a big help, and life seems pretty damn awesome. The heat’s getting a lot more bearable, but at the same time, I’m starting to feel a little depressed that summer’s over. I’m keen on getting my life back on track, so I started by setting up a date with Jessie and Mandy at Sam’s one evening. It was enjoyable apart from Jake’s incessant texting. He texted me every five minutes and wasn’t happy until he was able to pick me up and take me home. He is right about one thing: some things never do change.
Today is Friday, and I’m out with Jessie, helping her celebrate the end of the work week. I’m in an especially good mood because I am thoroughly looking forward to my dinner with Jake tonight.
“So how is it that you are here, and Mr. Boss-Man isn’t?” she asks.
I bite my lip, trying to hide my smile, but as usual, I fail miserably. “Well, he’s taking me to Leandro’s tonight, and he said he wanted to have today off so he could … prepare.”
The look on her face is priceless. “Leandro’s?” she screeches. “Ana, this is huge! You know what this means, don’t you? He’s going to put a ring on it,” she says, pointing to my left hand.
I act surprised, but I have to admit that the thought has crossed my mind.
“Do you really think so? I don’t know,” I muse.
She’s practically jumping up and down in her chair. “Come on! It has to be that. What are you wearing?”
“I don’t know. I was kinda hoping you would go shopping with me after work and help me choose an outfit.”
Her face lights up. “Of course I will, silly! Do you really need to ask?” She looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. How could I have been so foolish?
The rest of the day seems to drag on, but then it always does when you’re trying to make time pass more quickly. Days seem to only fly by when you need more time. Jessie and I drive to the local Fairfax Mall where I end up buying a beautiful, white, fitted dress with black stripes down the side. I think it’s perfectly elegant and fit for just about any occasion.
“Is that the dress which Ana Sinclair will be wearing when she becomes fiancée to Jake Bennett this evening?” she asks as she gives me a cheeky grin.
I nudge Jessie, but can’t hide the smile which never seems to wane lately. We both buy some new shoes for the autumn weather, and Jessie treats herself to a new handbag. By the time we’re finished, it’s six-thirty, and I have to get back for our eight o’clock reservation.
I rush back home, singing along to “Sugar” by Maroon 5 along the way. The excitement’s growing the closer I get to the house.
When I get home, I spot a Jeep parked outside. With a deep frown, I pull onto the driveway and quickly make my way inside.
“Jake?” I shout from the doorway. “Jake, I think you’ll love the new dress I bought.”
No answer. Where is he?
I decide to make my way into the kitchen. “Jake, whose car is outside?”
The moment I enter the kitchen I answer my own questions. The last person I expect to see here is in fact standing in my kitchen, looking as if she belongs there. Despite what my eyes are telling me, it takes me a moment to register the fact that I’m looking straight at my mother. Although part of me is in shock, another begins to see red when I notice that her hands are resting on Jake’s chest … and to make matters worse, he is doing nothing to remove them. The shocked and detached part of me notes her appearance. She’s looking a little plumper than normal, which some distant part of me finds vaguely concerning. Otherwise, she seems to look quite healthy. My ire rises when it becomes obvious that the smirk plastered across her damn face emerged at the same time as my look of shock transformed into one of sheer terror. Anger and confusion quickly join the mix of emotions as all three openly battle for control.
“Ana, darling, there you are! How are you? I heard about that awful mess, and I just had to come and see my baby.”
Jake’s not looking at me. Why isn’t he looking at me?
“Jake?” I ask, ignoring my mother completely. He just continues to stand there, seemingly unable to look in my direction. “Jake?” I ask again with more urgency. Again, there’s nothing. The only expression he’s wearing is a pained one. Is he ashamed of me now that my mother is here?
“Darling, aren’t you happy to see your mother? Jake and I have some news for you, and we have been anxiously waiting for you to get home. We wanted to tell you about it in person, and we just can’t wait!”
I don’t want to hear anything else. So I decide to try one more time. “Jake?” He squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his fists.
My mum looks between Jake and me. Confusion is written all over her face. “Ana, dear, whatever’s the matter with you?”
I look one last time at Jake’s defeated state. Tears are brimming in my eyes. “Jake, answer me! What the hell is going on?”
All I’m met with is silence. It’s clear that he has absolutely no intention of answering me—no intention of explaining what’s going on. In the distance, I can hear my mother’s shrill voice demanding to know why I’m behaving so strangely.
Not understanding what’s happening—or knowing if what I’m witnessing is even real—I quickly turn around and rush back outside, making a mad dash for my car.
As I leave, all I can hear is my mother screaming my name. Not Jake. Not the man I love with everything I have to give. My mother!
With tears brimming in my eyes, I start the car. As if someone or something out there just wants to rub salt in the proverbial wound, when the car starts, the song “Nothing Compares 2 U” begins blaring through the speakers, shredding my heart.
Why am I being tortured like this? I ask myself—and anyone out there who might be listening. I’m so crazed that I almost expect a response.
I grip the steering wheel, willing myself to move, to do … something.
I have to get out of here!
I pull out of the drive, tears stinging my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. I’m plagued by questions which seem to have no answers.
Why did Jake let her in the house?
Why did he ignore my cries?
And why the hell didn’t he even look at me?
Suddenly, a horrifying possibility hits me. Maybe he doesn’t love me after all. Maybe I was just a placeholder for my mother, and now that she’s back, he doesn’t need me anymore. While my tears fall, all of those “maybes” morph into a single, full-blown assumption. I don’t wonder anymore.