In that moment, I would have promised him just about anything.
“Y-yeah,” I breathed, my fingers finding purchase in his thick hair. “But not anytime soon,” I found the sanity to add.
He chuckled against my skin. “No, baby, we have our hands full. But you know what they say – practice makes perfect.”
I squealed as he hauled me up over his shoulder and strode to the bedroom.
I’d say we were pretty close to perfection already.
******
Maddox and I were at the club the following evening while Ax and the guys met. I assumed we’d be leaving soon since it was nearly bedtime for Mad. We’d been spending a lot of time there over the past few weeks since Axel refused to ever leave us home alone. I started keeping a few key baby items there rather than dragging everything around. The sight of the Pack‘ N Play against the wall in the main room still made me giggle. To their credit, none of the guys said anything about it but rather seemed to enjoy having the kids around. Gracie was another frequent visitor.
Maddox had changed in the time we’d been in Hawthorne. Aside from just getting bigger and learning new things every day, he was much more adaptable. He was now used to sleeping in all kinds of places. He was comfortable being passed around and being cared for by many different people. I loved the change. He had a huge extended family and he seemed to be embracing it as much as I was.
I heard the rumble of a bike and soon Mack walked in. “Hey, girl.” He gave me a chin lift as he ambled toward where the guys were meeting.
I smiled and gave him a little wave, turning my attention back to Mad. It wasn’t long after that I heard the roar of what sounded like several motorcycles. I didn’t think much of it until three men appeared in the doorway with Black Riders cuts on.
My eyes widened with panic. I had absolutely nothing good to associate with that insignia. Plus, I knew Axel would have told me if this was an expected visit.
I snatched Maddox up and pressed him close to my chest. My whole body began to shake as that night with Aron and Jeb came rushing back. I was afraid to move as the three men assessed me without emotion.
Cal strode out a moment later, no doubt having heard the bikes. His blue eyes gleamed as he took in the three men in his club. His gaze then shot to me and he didn’t hesitate. “Axel!” he barked loudly. Axel appeared not a moment later, his entire posture stiffening when he saw the men who’d crossed their door. “See to your woman,” Cal instructed.
Axel’s head swung toward me as he took in my shaking frame and huge eyes. His long legs ate up the space between us. “Babe,” he began, his tone low.
“T-take Mad,” I whispered, my teeth practically chattering.
He did as I asked, hoisting our son into his arms, his eyes never leaving mine. Mad grinned up at his daddy, oblivious to the tension.
“What’s wrong with her?” one of the Black Riders asked, his tone confused and almost accusatory.
Axel turned to him with fire in his eyes. “What’s wrong with her?” he growled. “What’s wrong with her is that fucker Aron helped kidnap her and terrorized her in a motel room until she escaped. That’s what the fuck is wrong with her!” he shouted.
The man held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Sorry, brother, I didn’t realize she was your woman. I didn’t know who she was,” he tried to explain.
“I’m not your brother,” Axel spat.
“Axel, take your family home,” Cal ordered brusquely. “Now.”
Axel wasn’t happy with the order. His chest heaved as he glared daggers at the three men filling the doorway.
The tension was palpable as my anxiety grew more pronounced.
“Ax, man,” Cole’s voice suddenly filled the space. I hadn’t even realized he was here. “If it were my woman, I’d feel the same fucking way and you’d tell me the same thing. You’ve got too much skin in this game. Take your girl home. Trust your brothers. We’ve got your back,” he assured him.
After a moment, Axel nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, man.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led us past the men and to the truck parked out front. He opened the door for me, guiding me with his large hand to crawl in while he still held our son. “Seatbelt,” he commanded, moving around the other side to get Maddox strapped in his seat.
He didn’t say a word the entire drive back home. His demeanor didn’t invite conversation and I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn’t press him. I did have the presence of mind to wish he’d offer some form of comfort, no matter how small. Tension poured off him in waves and I wondered what exactly had him so keyed up.
The air had a new chill when we pulled up and carried Mad inside. Fall was officially upon us. I looked up at the sky wistfully hoping we’d have the kind of holiday season I’d dreamed about since I was a child. The kind filled with laughter and love – not appearances and forced emotion.
“I’ll take him,” I murmured in our darkened entryway, reaching out for a sleepy Maddox. Axel handed him over without a word.
“Sweet boy,” I murmured into his soft hair that was coming in thicker every day. “You’re ready for bed, aren’t you?” I talked softly to him as I carried him into the office and got him changed. He had his last bottle at the club so he was ready to roll. I looked around the office wondering if it was time to convert it into a nursery. Axel had asked me several times, when was I ready to make it his room? When was I ready to call his place ours?
Maybe it was time to take the plunge.
I swayed back and forth, humming an unnamed melody to Mad as his eyes drooped. I knew I could put him down but holding him calmed my frazzled nerves. Seeing those men, those jackets, had brought back so many unwanted memories and emotions. Then there was Axel. He was seriously pissed and I wasn’t sure I had the capacity to deal with his emotion as well as mine. Not right then anyway.
“Night, sweetie,” I cooed softly, placing my sleeping baby in his crib. I smoothed his hair back from his beautiful face and slipped out of the room in search of my man.
I found him pacing the master bedroom like a caged beast. I eyed him warily as he pulled on his hair and looked ready to break down a wall or two.
“What’s the matter?” I asked quietly when it didn’t seem like he was going to stop any time soon.
He turned to glare at me, the venom in his expression taking me by surprise. Axel had never directed anger at me. Frustration? Irritation? Sure. But nothing like the feral rage I saw now.
“I should be there,” he growled by way of reply.
“Where?” I asked, confused.
“At the club! Not fucking playing house!” he roared.
I took a step back, reeling from his anger and the bite of his words. It was a minute before I could even respond.
“Is that what we’re doing? Playing house?” I shot back through numb lips.
He threw up his hands. “That’s not what I fucking meant!” he hollered.
“Keep your voice down!” I hissed.
“I have to go.” He shook his head, grabbing his cut off the chair. “I can’t deal with this shit.”
I wondered which shit he meant specifically but couldn’t bear to ask for fear of what he’d say. I fought fiercely to battle down my own temper. To bite back the demand of where my feelings played into all this. He was obviously warring with himself over something and this wasn’t the time.