He snorted. “I had money he’d show up by now. Don’t worry about it.” He waved me off.
“But Kat,” I protested, knowing how tired she was these days.
“She’d sleep through a fuckin’ parade. She’s out; otherwise, I’d be out there having more than words with your man.”
I didn’t doubt that was true.
“I don’t want to put you in the middle of this but can you send him home?” I asked, my voice sounding small in the dim light.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Axel’s voice cut through the night with booming conviction.
“Fuck, man, I told you to stay out there,” Sal bit out.
“And I told you to stay the fuck out of it,” Axel growled. “She’s your sister. I get it. But she’s my woman and that’s my son in there.” He jerked a finger toward the nursery.
“Yeah and you’re acting like a fucking jackass,” Sal snarled.
“Sal, fuck, man, don’t make me remind you of all the shit you pulled on Kat,” Axel appealed to my brother with a sincere effort toward peace. “’Cause I took care of your girl while you were gone and I didn’t fuckin’ judge you for that shit.”
There was a heavy pause and I honestly couldn’t tell which way this would go.
“You’re right,” Sal agreed, shocking the hell out of me. “I was no saint.” He shook his head. “I get some of what you’re going through. But she’s my little sister, man. Anytime she turns up on my doorstep, I’ll take her in. Don’t cross a line where I don’t let you in,” he warned.
“I won’t,” Axel agreed.
“All right, I’m headed to bed,” my brother said gruffly. “Keep it down. If you wake up Kat, I’ll kick your ass out.” He shot a look at Axel though I could tell most of his anger had left him.
I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at both of them.
“Good luck, dude,” Sal muttered, slipping from the room.
“If my brother won’t kick you out, I will,” I hissed toward Axel after the door had been quietly shut.
He didn’t answer me but clicked the light off instead. I heard the sound of his boots dropping one by one to the floor with heavy thunks that ricocheted off the walls. When I heard the sound of his belt and jeans falling to the ground, I stared at him with wide eyes through the dark room.
“What the hell are you doing?” I demanded incredulously.
“Babe, we’re gonna fight; I don’t know much but I know that,” he muttered. “I’m an angry motherfucker and you’re as sweet as you are stubborn.”
“I am not stubborn,” I argued.
He chuckled as I glared.
“We’ll fight,” he continued as he climbed up onto the bed. I scooted away indignantly. “But baby, you’re mine. You sleep under our roof or I find the one you’re under.”
“Not if you’re going to fight like hell for us and then when you get pissed make me feel like a burden,” I argued.
“You’re never a burden,” he replied, his voice tired but sincere. “I’m just not used to fixing things by talkin’,” he explained. “It’s always been with my fists. When those fucks showed up at the club, I’ve never felt so torn. I didn’t want you out of my sight but I also wanted to let them know who the hell they’d answer to if they stepped out of line.”
“So you chose to be with me and regretted it?” I asked confused and hurt.
“All I regretted was feeling like I didn’t do enough to protect you by letting everyone else handle business that I felt was mine.”
“That sounds like it’s more about what you needed than what I needed,” I pointed out.
There was a charged pause while he took that in.
“Fuck, you’re right,” he admitted.
He sounded so surprised by that realization and so tired that I softened some.
“I love you and I swear I’m tryin’,” he added as I heard the pillow rustle under his head. I knew his gaze had turned to me and I was glad the room was dark. Those eyes always made me melt and I needed to stay strong here. “There’s nothing in this goddamned world I want more than you and Mad. Taking care of you, protecting you – it gives me a purpose like I’ve never known. Anything I said to make you feel otherwise was said in anger and was complete and utter bullshit,” he swore.
I took that in for a minute.
“Okay,” I murmured. I believed him. I knew we both had to operate on a learning curve; this whole thing was new to both of us.
“Okay?” he asked, his voice relieved.
“Yeah,” I answered. “I just think – well, I feel like you’re censoring yourself for my benefit. If Mad and I force you to change too much, this will never work,” I shook my head. “I think what we need is some balance,” I surmised.
“All right,” he agreed. “I also think we need to have some goddamned fun, Soph. Let me take you away for a night. Sal and I already talked about it. You and I need some time, just us.”
“Leave Mad?” I questioned nervously.
“With your brother and Kat,” he interjected. “One night, Soph, it’ll be good for us. He loves them both, he’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know,” I fretted. I’d never left Maddox overnight.
He reached over, pulling me close to his chest. “You know I’d never suggest it if I didn’t know he’d be well taken care of. I don’t regret the way we ended up here. I fucking love our life. But I never did the whole dating thing. Never wanted to. But with you, well, I want to spend time with you. Alone,” he pressed.
I giggled quietly at the urgency in his tone.
“Yeah, okay,” I agreed. “What did you have in mind?”
Chapter 15
I found myself regretting sharing that I’d never been camping.
Growing up in Manhattan and having parents who were positively repelled by the outdoors, my closest experiences with nature had been Central Park.
Axel hadn’t liked that so much.
When he suggested a night away, this hadn’t been exactly what I’d had in mind but I was determined to roll with it.
The campground he’d brought us to was gorgeous, surrounded by pine trees and amazing rock formations. It was fairly private with only a few other campsites occupied. I appreciated the smell and the sense of calm.
What I did not appreciate was the fact it was outside. As in, sleeping outside. As in, no bathroom anywhere close.
Axel had set up the small tent and bedroll that had been hooked to the back of his bike within mere minutes.
“Done this before?” I asked with a quirk of my brow.
“A time or two,” he nodded, not elaborating.
“I think you can take that thing off now,” I gestured to the shoulder holster he’d worn since we’d left Hawthorne, and when I thought about it, most of the time when we weren’t at home.
“Nope.” he shook his head simply.
“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” I protested.
He shrugged, telling me without words that didn’t matter to him. I knew even if we were in a high-class hotel somewhere, it’d be the same thing.