Leonora did not know what to say. To give her sister any kind of explanation, she would have to start at the very beginning. So much had happened. So much that could no longer be explained with but a few simple words. “Yes, I suppose I am cold,” Leonora finally replied, forcing a bit of a smile onto her face. “The sun was shining so brightly, and so I stepped outside. It was quite pleasant for a while, but then it grew colder. I suppose spring isn’t quite here yet after all.”
Christina glanced behind her at the gray skies outside the windows, and Leonora could not help but think that her sister did not quite believe her.
“Where’s Harriet?” Leonora inquired, hoping to distract her sister from asking any more questions she could not answer. “I have not seen her all day.”
Thankfully, Christina rolled her eyes and heaved a deep sigh, annoyance etched into her eyes. “It would seem our dear sister has found a new pet.” Deep disapproval rang in her voice.
Leonora smiled gently at her sister, knowing how much Harriet’s fondness for woodland creatures upset Christina. After all, most of them often ended up lost in Christina’s chambers. Sir Lancelot, Harriet’s pet rabbit, had once gotten loose and caused a bit of a mess among Christina’s most precious books. It had been a dark day indeed. “A new pet? What kind is it this time?”
Christina closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath, no doubt in order to calm herself. “A toad.”
Leonora felt her jaw drop. “A toad? Where on earth did she find a toad?”
Shrugging, Christina shook her head, exasperation in the way she threw up her arms. “How should I know? But these dreaded creatures somehow always find their way to her.” She paused, her nose slightly crinkling as she fixed her eyes on Leonora. “Guess what she named it!”
Leonora frowned, knowing that her youngest sister had a fondness for unusual names. “Is it awful? Worse than Sir Lancelot?”
A dark chuckle escaped Christina’s lips. “In my opinion, yes.” Her brows rose as she looked at Leonora. “She named it Prince Charming. Can you believe that? A toad!”
Leonora could not help but chuckle, grateful for the distraction her sister’s misery presented. Was that awful of her? “You must admit it is quite fitting, is it not? Perhaps she was thinking of the fairytale about the frog prince.”
Again, Christina threw up her hands. “That was a frog. This is a toad.”
“Where’s the difference?”
Christina began to pace, annoyance in every step she took. “How should I know? What does it matter?” She stopped in her tracks and spun around to look at Leonora. “I’m telling you, if that slimy creature ends up in my bed, I shall…I shall scream the whole house down.”
Leonora gently reached for her sister, pulling her into a comforting hug. “I will speak to Harry,” she told her, hoping to alleviate Christina’s concerns. “Now, why don’t you go visit Sarah tomorrow. How is she doing?”
Instantly, Christina surged backwards, breaking their embrace, a look of utter fury in her eyes. “Her mother truly intends to marry her to that man!” she huffed out, her cheeks darkening as anger raced through her veins.
Clearly, Leonora had chosen the wrong topic in the hopes of calming her sister for it was quite obviously having the opposite effect. “That man? Who do you speak of?”
Christina’s nose crinkled as though she smelled something rotten. “That merchant. A Mr. Sharpe, I believe.”
Leonora frowned. “And what exactly do you have against him? Have you even met him?”
“I have never spoken to him, no. However, I have glimpsed him here and there at the occasional ball. He might look like a gentleman, but he most assuredly is not.” A golden curl came loose and fell into Christina’s face. Impatiently, she tucked it away behind her ear. “I hear what people whisper about him, how he made his fortune. He grew up around the docks with the worst the world has to offer. He was not brought up like a gentleman, and now he seeks to elevate himself by marrying into the peerage.” Again, her nose crinkled in that way that meant she was very displeased with something or someone. “Lady Hartmore is only considering him because of their financial situation. She’s sacrificing Sarah to that man to save their estates. However, it was not Sarah who caused their ruin. Why should she have to pay for it?” An angry growl rose from Christina’s throat as she began to pace once more. Clearly, the inability to protect her friend made her furious.
Leonora wished she knew how to help. The thought that Sarah would be forced into a marriage to a man without honor was indeed most troubling. Leonora could not imagine such a fate.
Out of nowhere, she wondered if the man who had attacked her at the masquerade might not have been a lord after all. Perhaps someone had sneaked into the masquerade. Someone who did not belong there. Someone without honor and decency. Could it have been a man like that Mr. Sharpe? Someone who had not been taught the difference between right and wrong. Someone who had not been taught to respect others and treat them with kindness. Someone who had grown up amongst people who only ever looked to their own desires and needs.
Was that possible?
Leonora felt the urge to rush back to Drake’s house and tell him her thoughts. However, after the way she had left, she could not imagine doing so. Her heart felt torn because deep down he was the one she wanted to confide in, and yet, she worried that whatever had been between them had now changed irrevocably. Had she ruined all by blurting out those words?
I cannot lose you.
Those words kept echoing in Leonora’s head. Not even when night fell, and she found herself alone in her chamber, settling into bed, could she force her mind away from the day’s events and all they had revealed. Again and again, she remembered all that had happened. The way he had spoken to her, confided in her. Although she had seen his pain and felt his agony, it had been a treasured moment because he had not hidden his own haunted moment from her. She remembered the way she had moved closer, offering comfort and companionship. Even now, Leonora could almost feel the warmth of his towering body as she had all but pulled him into her arms.
In that moment, there had been no fear or uncertainty. In that moment, she had simply acted, and her heart had not objected. Indeed, it had felt wonderful to have his arms come around her and pull her closer. Always had he treated her with respect, and Leonora had felt completely safe with him. She had been able to let go of that dreadful moment and simply live in the here and now.
A part of her still could not believe what she had done. What she had been able to do. She had touched him, reached out to him, and it had felt good. Indeed, somewhere within her, Leonora knew that she wanted to feel him again. What did that mean? Did it mean that she was healing? That she had taken another step on a path toward the future she was still hoping for? Would the time soon come when she found herself able to consider marriage?
Staring up at the darkened ceiling, Leonora heaved a deep sigh. “Is it only him?” she whispered into the stillness of the night. “Or…?” That was the question, was it not?
Sitting up, Leonora looked across her chamber to where her new notebook was still where she had placed it upon her vanity. Was she changing? Would she soon be able to place her trust in others as well? If she spent more time with Lord Sedgwick or Lord Gillingham, was there a chance she could feel as comfortable in their presence as she did in Drake’s?