Christina’s gaze grew serious. “And he’s helping you do that?”
Leonora nodded.
“You trust him that much? To be alone with him, you must,” Christina remarked, her eyes thoughtful once more, contemplating and assessing. “Still, if you are ever found alone together, you’d be ruined.”
“I know that,” Leonora replied, feeling a new lightness come to her heart. Perhaps she truly ought to speak to her family about everything that had happened. After all, she knew now that she would never be able to forget. “I know the risks, but to me they are worth taking. I have been afraid for too long, and now, at least, I am doing something.” She bowed her head, remembering the moment Lord Sedgwick had stepped too close.
“What is it?” Christina asked, placing a comforting hand on Leonora’s shoulder.
Leonora sighed. “These last few weeks, I’ve come to feel…stronger. I felt more confident and almost certain I could handle any situation. Yet, when Lord Sedgwick…” Her voice trailed off as a tremor ran down her spine at the memory of his intention, the look in his eyes and the way he had leaned closer. “I froze. I simply froze. Everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I had learned was gone in that moment.” A frustrated growl rose from her throat, and her feet began carrying her down the path, unable to remain still any longer. “Was all for nothing? Will I forever be unable to handle myself in these situations?” She spun around and looked at her sister. “What am I to do?”
Long strides carried Christina to her side, a look of certainty in her eyes that Leonora wished she possessed herself. “There is no right answer,” Christina told her, her gaze imploring as she once more grasped Leonora’s hands. “You are doing all you can do. You are trying. You’re doing your best. Do not ask more of yourself.” She paused, and her gaze once more trailed to the hedge. “Do you like him?”
Leonora tensed at her sister’s inquisitive question. “He is a kind man,” she replied, making to turn away, unable to face the deeper meaning in her sister’s question. “He is most respect—”
Christina’s hands tightened upon Leonora’s, not allowing her to escape. “Do you like him?” Christina’s eyes fixed on Leonora’s, making it perfectly clear that she would not let this go.
Leonora swallowed, bowing her head, unable to face this. “It does not matter if I like him or not. Today proved that the past will always overshadow the present. If I cannot bear a man’s presence, how am I to marry? And if I cannot marry, then I will never have a family of my own. The future I thought I would have is no longer within reach. I’ll simply have to accept that.” Again, Leonora made to turn away, and again, her sister stopped her.
“I understand that you must feel discouraged,” Christina said gently. “However, you are not the only one to find herself facing an unwanted suitor.” A chuckle drifted from Christina’s lips, and she straightened her shoulders, brushing a golden curl back into her hood. “Last Season, Lord Kenton tried to steal a kiss and although there was no reasonable explanation to refuse him, I found I did not wish to kiss him.” Leonora watched her sister most carefully, surprised to never have noticed that side of her. “Yes, he’s kind and amiable. He comes from a good family and his reputation is free of any whisper of scandal. He spoke of marriage, and I have no doubt that he would’ve proposed soon.” She shrugged. “By anyone’s opinion, I should have considered myself lucky to have gained his favor. Still, I…I simply couldn’t. He leaned in, and I…” Again, she shook her head, her gaze distant as she remembered that moment. “I liked him, but I did not like him the way I ought to in order to consider him as a husband.” Her eyes once more returned to focus upon Leonora’s. “Perhaps Lord Sedgwick simply wasn’t the right man for you. Perhaps it had nothing to do with what happened and everything to do with what is in your heart. And so, I ask you again, do you like him?”
Leonora stared at her sister, knowing without a doubt who Christina meant by him. Could she be right? Was it possible that the only reason Leonora had felt reluctant to grant Lord Sedgwick a kiss was not because of what had happened, but simply because she had not wanted to kiss him? How would she feel if Lord Pemberton—Drake—were to kiss her?
Instantly, she remembered the moments they had spent with one another. She remembered how he had stepped close, very close. At first, it had made her nervous, and yet, she had never been afraid. Lately, however, his nearness had come to feel different for her. If she was utterly honest, at least with herself, Leonora had to admit that it had felt pleasant to find herself in his arms, even if only for training purposes. She remembered the day he had spoken to her of his own past, the day she had been the one to offer comfort, the day they had embraced one another.
“You’re smiling,” Christina whispered, jarring Leonora from her thoughts. “Quite a telling sign, if you ask me. Perhaps you should try and kiss him.” A teasing twinkle came to Christina’s eyes before she looped her arm through Leonora’s and pulled her back toward the house. “Come, let’s put Grandma Edie’s mind at ease. You know how upsetting it is for her not to know everything.”
Laughing, the two sisters returned inside.
Chapter Twenty-Four
An Unwelcome Suitor
From Phineas, Drake knew that the Whickertons were to attend a picnic in Hyde Park the following day. Spring had finally arrived, and the air felt pleasant. A comfortable breeze drifted through the trees, and the sun shone brightly above the world. Joy beamed on everyone’s faces to be outside after mostly being confined indoors during the winter.
Drake saw countless families gathering, children laughing and running about. Happiness lingered in the air, and he wished that life for once could be simple. Indeed, it seemed more complicated these days than it ever had before.
A sennight had passed since Leonora had last visited him. She had missed three training sessions, and Drake could not help but think that he had done something that had frightened her. Had it been his confession about his past? About his mother and the way she had died? The way he had failed her? Or had Leonora been shocked by his admission that he had killed his own father?
To this day, the only thing Drake regretted was to have remained blind for too long. His father had received what he deserved, and Drake felt no remorse over hastening his passing. Yes, Leonora was a kindhearted woman with a family she loved dearly. Perhaps, she could not fathom the cold detachedness and unfeeling cruelty that existed in other families. Families that did not deserve the word.
Riding along the main path, Drake spotted Leonora and her family not far off. He pulled to a halt and tied his mount to a tree branch, then strode toward where Phineas stood, his gaze sweeping over the lawns.
“I was wondering if you would attend,” Phineas remarked with that teasing smile upon his face that Drake did not care for. “You seemed a bit reluctant when I first spoke to you of today’s picnic.”
Drake shrugged, careful not to meet his friend’s eyes for too long. “I wasn’t certain I would find the time.”
Phineas chuckled. “If you’re looking for her, the sisters went for a walk together.” He grinned. “I’m certain they will return soon.”