With his hands still wrapped around her wrists, Drake suddenly stilled, his eyes going wide before he looked down to where her hands remained locked in his. Shock claimed his features, and he released her so abruptly that Leonora stumbled a step backwards. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled under his breath, regretful eyes turning to her. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” He lifted his hands and moved backwards until the window cut off his retreat.
“Tell me what happened,” Leonora urged him, not wanting him to retreat because of something that he imagined. He had not hurt her, not truly, and she was more than willing to help him through this anyway she could. “What did he do to her? How did you find out?”
“At first, I didn’t know,” he replied in a distant voice, a faraway and pained look coming to his eyes. “I found her, and I could not believe what I was seeing. It didn’t make any sense.” Leonora knew that feeling. She knew it well. “It was only days later that I all but stumbled upon her diary. I remember staring at it for hours, undecided about what to do.” His eyes closed, and he leaned his head back against the window. “Eventually, I broke down and read it.”
Leonora felt her hands begin to tremble, and she knew that she needed someone to hold onto as much as he did. And so, she moved toward him once more, her hands coming to rest upon his chest as she looked up into his eyes. “He hurt her?”
Meeting her gaze, Drake nodded. “He did, and he had for years. Yet, she was trapped with him with no way out.” In that moment, something deeply gentle came to his eyes, and he lifted a hand, tentatively reaching out to her.
Leonora held her breath until she found the tips of his fingers brushed against her cheek. He trailed them back and brushed a curl behind her ear. It was such a tender caress that Leonora felt tears prick the backs of her eyes.
“I didn’t know,” Drake continued, his gaze never leaving hers. “I should have, but I never looked beyond the surface. I never looked beyond her smile, never recognized it as a cover for what lay underneath. I saw her injured once or twice, but she always had a ready explanation. I should not have believed her.”
Leonora felt a tear run down her cheek, remembering how she too had assured her family, her loved ones that she was fine, that nothing was wrong. It was a way of protecting oneself and others as well. Drake’s mother had to have known that she had no power over her own life, that not even her son could have helped her, and she had not wanted to burden him. Somehow, Leonora knew that to be true. “You couldn’t have known,” she finally said, her gaze fixed upon his, urging him to believe her, “because she did not want you to know.”
A deep frown came to his face, and he let his hand fall. “But I—”
“You said it yourself,” Leonora interrupted him before he could dig himself any deeper into this hole in the ground, “people often do not see what is right in front of them, not because they choose not to see it, but because they don’t know how. All of us, we are the sum of our experiences and we cannot interpret what we don’t know, what we don’t understand, what we have never seen before.” Her fingers curled into the lapel of his jacket, that gesture surprising him as much as her. Nonetheless, it seemed thoroughly appropriate, even necessary in that moment. “Before, I do not recall ever seeing a woman and thinking that she might have been hurt. Or anyone else for that matter. Yes, I love observing people and trying to guess what might be going on in their heads, but it is one thing to see sadness and quite another to understand where it comes from.” She heaved a deep sigh. “Louisa did not know how to read, and yet, I had no idea. Yes, every once in a while, I found something odd about her reaction, about a response of hers, but I never knew. Not because I did not care, but simply because I did not know how to read the signs.” Her hands released his jacket and came to rest upon his chest once more. Her voice grew gentler, and she sighed as she looked up at him, no longer wanting to argue her point. “You need to forgive yourself because it was not your fault. That is the truth, and you need to trust me on that.”
In the next moment, it was as though Leonora watched him break apart. All strength seemed to leave his body, and for a second, she feared he might slump forward and drag her with him, knowing she would not be strong enough to support his weight. Yet, his weakness had nothing to do with loss of physical strength, but rather everything with an emotional barrier breaking down. A desperate plea came to his eyes, and Leonora found herself responding to it without thought.
Her arms rose and snaked up onto his shoulders and around his neck, pulling him into her embrace. He did not resist, and a mere moment later, she felt his heart beat against hers. His chin came to rest upon her shoulder, and she could feel his shuddering breath against her skin. For a heartbeat or two, they stood like this, in an awkward embrace.
A one-sided one.
And then Leonora felt him move. Slowly, ever so slowly, she felt his arms come around her. His hands settled on her back, tentatively at first before they began to urge her closer, enfolding her in his arms as much as he was in hers.
Tears streamed freely down Leonora’s cheeks when she found neither fear nor revulsion in his embrace. Instead, her heart beat with a strength she had not felt before, a deep longing growing within her that was utterly new and overwhelming…but breathtakingly beautiful.
Chapter Twenty-One
A Simple Touch
Drake was certain he had strayed into a dream for what other explanation could there possibly be? While his heart still ached with memories of his mother’s loss, to feel Leonora in his arms was something he had never dared to dream possible. Was this truly happening? Or had he lost his mind?
His hands tightened upon her and he half-expected her to pull away in fear. Instead, she complied, sinking deeper into his embrace, her touch soothing the memories that still lingered.
A simple embrace was something Drake had never known. Certainly, as a child his mother had embraced him upon occasion. Still, life in the ton often meant distance between family members. Few people were like the Whickertons and shared in each other’s lives in such a deep and profound way. Many families were strangers to one another, spouses chosen for practical reasons and children brought up to fulfill a role. More often than not, there was little room for affection.
Yet, it came easily to Leonora. The way she had responded to him had been so natural that Drake had been unable to resist her offer of comfort.
He had been unable to resist her.
Never would Drake have thought he would ever hold her in his arms, and yet, here he was. Her warmth was intoxicating, and the softness of her touch almost brought him to his knees. He remembered well what Phineas had said the other day at the ball. Only Drake had not quite allowed himself to contemplate the meaning of affection.
He did care for her, though, did he not? After all, a stranger’s embrace could not touch the heart, could it?
The tips of her fingers trailed along his neck as Leonora pulled back, her blue eyes rising to look up at him. Although her cheeks were wet with tears, a tentative smile lingered upon her lips.
It was a thought that quickly led to another, and before Drake knew what he was doing, his gaze dipped lower, longing urging him on. She stood so close, so temptingly close, and those soulful blue eyes held nothing but trust and compassion and affection.