For a long moment, Leonora simply stood there, at the door, looking at him, an odd look in her eyes he could not quite understand. Then she smiled at him once more, turned on her heel and hurried down the hall.
Closing his eyes, Drake sat down on the edge of his desk, unable to move. A part of him wanted to go after her, urge her to stay, but he did not. Perhaps they both needed a moment apart after their kiss, a chance to regain their composure.
Drake tensed. Did she perhaps regret what happened? Had his kiss frightened her after all? Yet, she had not seemed upset when she had left, had she? She had seemed strangely thoughtful, but not frightened of him.
Not fearful.
He had seen no regret or dismay in her eyes. Still, questions remained, and Drake knew that they would keep him busy for the days to come. He would be unable to think of anything but her. But was that any different from the way it was now? Was he not already thinking of her and her alone? Day and night?
It was an unsettling thought; to be so dependent upon another person. Drake had not seen it coming. However, if only she would feel the same about him, he would not mind at all.
Not at all.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
A Message
Leonora barely felt the branches tugging on her hair and cloak as she hastened through the gap in the hedge. Her feet moved quickly, and her eyes were turned inward. That she did not trip and fall was a miracle.
Only when she reached the terrace doors did Leonora look around, her eyes searching for anyone nearby. She paused and listened and then slipped inside when no sounds could be heard. She forced her mind to focus, knowing that running into one of her sisters or worse her grandmother would not serve her now. Her mind was far too frazzled to concentrate, to formulate any kind of reasonable explanation for her current state of mind. Leonora had no doubt that all those raging emotions were written only too clearly upon her face.
Fortunately, she made it up the winding staircase and down the hallway to her chamber without encountering a soul. Closing the door behind her, Leonora leaned back, resting her back against it and closed her eyes. Her breath still came fast, and her lips still tingled from their kiss.
For a long while, Leonora simply stood there, remembering the moments she had shared with Drake. Indeed, she had lied to him. She had not merely wanted a kiss freely given. No, from the moment she had stepped through the hedge, Leonora had known what she had wanted. What she had wanted had been a kiss.
From him.
After the way every fiber of her being had reacted to Lord Sedgwick pulling her closer, she had needed to know if she would feel different if it were another. If it were Drake. He had touched her before, drawn closer, and it had not frightened her. She had not felt repulsed. Instead, she had come to cherish these moments.
And now, he had kissed her.
A deep smile came to Leonora’s face, and despite her confusion, she could not help but sigh.
Removing her cloak, she simply dropped it on the floor, then sank into her favorite armchair by the window. She pulled a pillow onto her lap and hugged it to her chest as her gaze wandered to the gardens below. She did not see them though, for her mind was focused elsewhere.
A part of her could not believe what she had done, what had happened. Up until the moment she had felt his lips against her own, Leonora had doubted her own courage to see this through. Yes, developing a plan was one thing. To see it put into action was quite another. Drake had helped her from the beginning; nevertheless, she could not have been certain if he would agree to a kiss. Had he merely kissed her in order to help her? Or had he…wanted to?
In truth, that was the one question on Leonora’s mind. She had enjoyed the closeness between them, the feel of him, the thought that he might cherish that moment as much as she did. Yet, she did not know if he had, and she could not ask him, or could she?
The mere thought brought on a nervous shiver. What if he told her that he had only kissed her out of some sense of duty? To repay the debt he believed to be his after failing his mother?
Leonora knew she could not bear it.
A knock sounded on her door.
Leonora flinched, her grip upon the pillow in her arms tightening. She briefly closed her eyes, then called, “Enter.”
The door opened and revealed Christina, a small package in her hands. “This was delivered for you,” she said, closing the door behind her. “Are you all right?” Her brows drew down as she moved closer, a spark of suspicion coming to her blue eyes. “I saw you leave. What happened?”
Leonora steeled herself and took the small package from Christina’s hands, then gestured for her sister to sit as she placed it upon the small table beside her. “I wanted to test your theory.”
Seating herself, Christina regarded her with care. “My theory? What theory?” Leonora hesitated, uncertain how to put into words all that had happened. Yet, it seemed that it was that hesitation that spoke loud and clear for her sister’s eyes suddenly widened and her jaw dropped. “Oh, that theory!” A wicked smile came to her face. “Well, let me guess. Judging from that look in your eyes, I suppose it is safe to say that the other day you did not object to being kissed but merely to the man doing the kissing. Is that not so?”
Burying her face in the pillow she still held clutched in her arms, Leonora groaned.
“You care for him,” Christina exclaimed, a bit of triumph in her voice. “Why do you look so forlorn? You should be happy.” Leonora could hear her sister shift in her seat. “What happened? I assume the kiss was…satisfactory.”
Knowing she could not escape her sister’s interrogation, Leonora lifted her head. “Yes, I enjoyed it, but—”
“But?” Christina prompted. “I thought you would be overjoyed. Relieved.”
Leonora heaved a deep sigh and then told her sister all that had led to the kiss. “I deceived him. I made him believe that I only wanted him to kiss me because—” She threw up her hands, then rose to her feet and began to pace. “I lied, and I shouldn’t have. I…I…”
“You worry that he does not care for you as you care for him,” Christina finished her sentence for her. She rose to her feet and walked over, her hands reaching for Leonora’s. “To know how he feels, you need to talk to him. However, my guess is that he cares for you as deeply as you care for him.”
“How would you know?” Leonora asked, trying to ignore that tingling sensation that began to spread through her body.
Christina laughed. “And here I thought you were the observant one. Do you not always talk about how one’s emotions can be read upon one’s face? Is that not what you constantly write about in your little notebook?”
Leonora’s gaze drifted over her shoulder and to the vanity behind her where her new notebook lay.
Christina’s hands squeezed hers. “I saw how he looked at you, how he kept watching over you.” A wistful smile came to her face. “He looks at you as Father looks at Mother, as Phineas looks at Louisa, as Tobias looks at Anne.” She chuckled. “Do you need any more examples?”
Unable to hide a smile, Leonora bowed her head, afraid to believe her sister’s words. Yes, it seemed she cared for Drake. Deeply. Ardently. And she had not seen it coming. Perhaps she was a fool to not have noticed earlier. Yet, she had only met him mere months ago. Could one truly come to love another in a matter of months?