Leonora wrung her hands before she inhaled a deep breath and then looked up at him, courage sparking in her eyes. “Not quite. I have a number of theories, but I still need to…test them.” She glanced down at her hands. “I was wondering if you would help me?”
Again, Drake found himself surprised. Although her whole demeanor spoke of a woman in retreat, it seemed that she had come here this day to ask for his help. “Of course. Anything you need.”
A smile flitted over her face, and yet, she still seemed as nervous as she had when she had stepped across the threshold to his study. “The other day,” she began, her voice barely more than a whisper, “Lord Sedgwick called on me. We took a stroll together through the gardens, and he spoke kindly.” She glanced up at him, and Drake could see new tension come to her posture, her hands gripping one another tightly. “I felt quite at ease. Then, however…” Her eyes closed, and she inhaled deeply, her chest rising and falling. Once. Twice. “He tried to kiss me,” she suddenly blurted out, and her eyes flew open, finding his unerringly. “I froze.” She shook her head, and a look of deepest disappointment and shame came to her eyes. “I froze. I could not move. I could not do anything. I simply stood there and stared at him. If my sister had not come…” Although her voice trailed off, they both knew what she was trying to say.
Drake swallowed but found it hard to get past the lump in his throat. “Fear can be crippling,” he told her, needing her to know that she had nothing to be ashamed of. “It is always different to imagine a situation than to experience it firsthand.”
Leonora nodded, and he could see that rationally she agreed with him. Nonetheless, her heart felt weakened. “I was thinking that perhaps it would help if…” Her teeth sank into her lower lip, and she averted her gaze once more. Whatever she was about to say clearly made her deeply uncomfortable.
“Whatever it is, say it,” Drake encouraged her. “I will do what I can to assist you.”
A small smile came to her face. “Thank you. I had hoped you would say that.” Still, she once more wrung her hands, then took a careful step forward. “My…My first kiss was stolen from me,” she whispered, her eyelashes fluttering rapidly as though she did not quite dare look at him, “and when Lord Sedgwick drew near, I felt…as I did then. I did not wish to kiss him, but…he did not…” She swallowed. “Perhaps he truly was not aware of my reluctance. I do not wish to judge him too harshly. Lately, I feel as though I cannot trust even myself the way I used to.”
Drake was about to contradict her, urging her to trust her own instincts. Yet, he remained quiet, sensing that it was not the time, that there was more she needed to say.
“What happened with Lord Sedgwick made me fearful,” she whispered, and for a brief moment, her eyes closed. “I’m afraid that a kiss will always and forever be something to fear.” Looking into his eyes, she shook her head. “I don’t want that. I want…I want to know what a kiss feels like that is freely given.”
Drake nodded. “Of course.” Then, however, he felt a slight frown slowly descend upon his forehead as he regarded her. “A kiss freely given?” A tantalizing shiver danced down his spine as a suspicion began to form in his mind.
Leonora nodded, and a shuddering breath left her lips. “Yes.” She swallowed hard, then met his eyes. “I trust you. I trust you as I trust no one else. You know…what happened. You will understand should I freeze. You won’t…” Her voice trailed off, a hint of crimson coming to her cheeks as she peeked up at him through lowered lashes.
Never before had Drake seen her like this. “You’re…You’re asking me to…kiss you?” Drake asked, wondering if he might be misunderstanding her.
Swallowing, she nodded. “If you…If you don’t mind.” Something hesitant, but equally determined rested in her gaze.
“Are you certain?” Drake asked, unsure how he wanted her to respond.
Again, Leonora nodded. “Do you mind?”
Yes! No!
Torn, Drake stared at her, not knowing how to reply. The thought of kissing her was deeply appealing. Yet, he wondered if he possessed the self-control needed to only give her a peck of a kiss. More would no doubt frighten her even more. What if he crossed yet another line? “Do you think it wise?” he asked, stalling for time. “I have no wish to frighten you.”
Her cheeks seemed to burn in an even deeper shade of red, and he could see that asking him for a kiss had taken a lot of courage. “I’m sorry if my request made you uncomfortable. Of course, if you do not—”
“It is not that,” Drake hastened to assure her. Without thought, he stepped closer, his eyes seeking hers, needing to know how certain she was of this. “Do you know what you’re asking?”
Her chin rose with each step he took toward her, her eyes holding his. “I thought about it endlessly,” she finally said when no more than an arm’s length separated them, “and I remembered how I have come to feel in your presence. Yes, at first, I could barely bring myself to look at you. Do you remember? That first day we met?”
Looking down at her, Drake nodded.
“Since then, a lot has changed.” A brave smile flitted across her face. “You’ve taught me much, and I faced challenges I never thought possible. I have come to feel more comfortable around others. Though not as comfortable as around you.”
Drake inhaled a slow breath, allowing himself to feel her words washing over him. “You believe my…kiss would not make you feel thus? Frightened? Reluctant?”
Leonora nodded. “I do.”
Those two simple words conjured memories of their training sessions. Drake could almost feel her in his arms, his hands wrapped around her wrists, holding her tightly. He could feel her heartbeat and her breath, the warmth of her body and the courage and fear that warred within her.
“Do you believe you would have felt differently if you had come to trust Sedgwick first? If you could have been certain he would cease should you experience doubt?” Drake inquired, wondering about the exact nature of her theory. “Is that why you’re asking me to kiss you?”
“It is a reasonable conclusion, is it not?” Leonora replied, her eyes straying from his, and Drake could not help but think that she was not being completely honest. “Will you help me then?” she asked, looking up at him once more.
Drake hesitated, still uncertain. Yet, a moment later, he felt his own head bob up and down, agreeing to her request. “What did Sedgwick do?” His teeth gritted together at the memory. Although he had not seen anything through the thick hedge, he remembered well the words the young lord had spoken as well as the images that had formed in Drake’s mind.
A dark shadow fell over Leonora’s face. “He…he moved toward me, his hands reaching for my arms. He pulled me closer, and his gaze…” Her eyes closed briefly before she forced them open once more, willing herself to look up into his. “His gaze dropped to my lips.” Absentmindedly, her right hand rose, and the tips of her fingers brushed against her lower lip.
Drake gritted his teeth, finding himself tormented by the memory as well as tempted by the woman in front of him. “And then your sister appeared?”