“I simply…I…” Leonora cleared her throat, willing her gaze to remain upon his. She could not help it, but every fiber of her being suddenly felt weak and frightened. “I simply do not believe that marriage would contribute to my happiness, my lord. I ask you to respect my decision.” She glanced over her shoulder to where her sisters were chatting animatedly atop their horses. “I believe, we should return to the others.” However, as Leonora tugged on her reins, Lord Gillingham leaned forward and snatched them up, cutting off her retreat. “What are you doing, my lord?”
An evil sneer contorted his face, once and for all wiping away the kindness she had seen in him before. Had it ever been there? Or had she been a fool to believe so? “How dare you refuse me after everything I’ve done for you?” Again, he tugged on her reins, urging her mount closer to his until they stood side-by-side, his knee brushing against her skirts. “Did you not appreciate the return of your precious notebook?”
Leonora almost slid off her horse as the shock of his words barreled into her. It was as though the air was squeezed from her lungs, and she began to feel faint.
A part of her longed for the oblivion of unconsciousness while another urged her to remain alert, reminding her of the threat barely an arm’s length away. “You? It was you?”
Staring at Lord Gillingham, Leonora was unable to wrap her mind around everything. Yet, when she looked at him now, she saw his eyes through the holes of a mask.
A black mask.
Her breathing quickened, and her heart beat in a painful way against her rib cage. She could not stop staring, her mouth slightly agape as shivers raced up and down her skin. A wave of nausea rolled over her, an echo of how she had felt that night a year ago.
The night that had changed everything.
A triumphant grin came to his face. “I was wondering when you would figure it out,” he remarked, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “I thought the night we shared was quite memorable. Apparently, it was not memorable enough for you.”
Leonora knew not what to say or ask. She could not imagine why he was saying these things, why he was here with her now, why he had courted her all these weeks. What did he want?
“Why?” It was no more than a weak sound, but it was all Leonora could manage in that moment.
Lord Gillingham drew himself up to his full height, towering over her, his gaze directed downward at her. “It was sheer happenstance that I recognized you at the masquerade,” he began, a narrative tone in his voice that made the present situation all the more unbelievable for Leonora. “It was your notebook that gave you away, my lady.” Again, that sickening grin stretched across his face. “I admit I was most intrigued, and so I followed you. I was surprised that you led me into that alcove but pleased as well.”
“I led—?” Leonora swallowed hard, trying to find her voice. “I did not lead you anywhere. I simply…I was curious, and so I wandered around. I wasn’t even aware you were there.” It felt surreal to be speaking to the man who had attacked her that night, and Leonora once more tugged on her reins.
He would not release them though.
Lord Gillingham laughed. “That, my lady, I cannot believe. You appeared quite surefooted in the way you maneuvered your way through the crowd that night. I must say, I was surprised to find you there. I never would have picked you for the kind of woman to do something so utterly scandalous. Indeed, if anyone else aside from myself had discovered your identity, you would’ve been ruined.” He glanced past her shoulder. “As would your sisters.”
Leonora drew in a sharp breath. “What do you want? Why are you saying these things? It doesn’t make any sense. You berate me for doing something improper, and yet, only moments ago, you asked me to marry you.” She shook her head, staring at him as though he was a creature not of this world.
A slow grin came to his face, and he leaned closer. “I find you most intriguing, my lady. Yes, I do want to marry you because I believe we would suit each other well.” His brows rose in challenge.
Again, Leonora found herself staring at him, unable to believe that what she was hearing was the truth. Was he mad? Never would she consider marrying the man who had attacked her in such a manner. How could he believe she would be amenable? “Release my reins,” she demanded, once more giving them a sharp tug. “Now.”
The grin upon his face turned dark. “I suggest you consider your words carefully, my lady. Remember what is at stake here, what you have to lose.” Again, he glanced past her shoulder toward her sisters. “It is not only your life you’re throwing away. What if others, society at large, would hear of your nightly endeavors? Do you make it a habit of attending the Hamilton masquerade each year? At least twice, I have seen you there myself.” His brows rose in emphasis, telling her that only the night before he had been nearby. He had seen her.
Her and Drake.
A shiver danced down Leonora’s back as she wondered what exactly he had seen. Had her eyes fallen upon him as well, not knowing that it had been him?
“Who was that man with you last night?” Lord Gillingham demanded, a disapproving snarl tainting his voice. “Do you make it a habit of kissing strangers at a ball? Is that why you do not wish to marry? Because you prefer a life of loose morals and scandalous exploits?”
Leonora gritted her teeth, knowing that no matter what she said, it would not make a difference. One look into Lord Gillingham’s eyes told her that his words, his actions were not governed by reason. Perhaps he was the one mad. “I demand you release me at once. I cannot accept your proposal, and I never shall.”
“Don’t be a fool!” he snapped, once more jerking on her horse’s reins. “Can you not imagine what will happen if everyone finds out the truth about you? Or do you simply not care? If not about your own future, then what about your sisters?” He grinned at her in a most repulsive way. “They’ll be ruined alongside of you. Is that what you want?”
All Leonora knew was that she wanted him to release her. Her mare seemed of the same opinion for she pranced rather nervously, her ears flattening against her head as she snorted and tossed her head up and down. “I will not marry you,” Leonora said firmly, forcing herself to hold his gaze. “I do not care about your threats. Do what you must!” Leonora knew that she spoke with more bravado than she felt. Indeed, what if he did what he threatened to do? What would happen then? To her sisters? Her family?
Indeed, one word from him and rumors would start. The gossips would carry any word of her indiscretion onward until the whole ton knew, suspected. In truth, it did not matter whether or not she had done what she would be accused of. One word from him whispered into the right ears, and Leonora knew she would be ruined.
And her sisters would be, too.
Perhaps she ought to agree to his proposal after all, Leonora thought, instantly repulsed by her own weakness. Her father had taught her not to give into fear. Nevertheless, she doubted he had ever imagined such a decision forced upon her with so much hanging in the balance. How would he look at her, knowing that she had ruined her family’s future?
Leonora closed her eyes, feeling all blood drain from her face. This was not a decision to be taken lightly. She needed to think. She needed to contemplate every scenario. She needed time.