“Did you hear me?” her father inquired, a contemplative expression upon his face. “Are you pleased to hear of his intentions toward you?”
Leonora slumped down in her chair, unable to hold herself upright any longer. She wanted to feel happy. She truly wanted to; only a question remained. Indeed, after the way she had ruined herself the night before, no man would seek her hand in marriage. Then why did he? Could it be because he loved her?
Again, that tingling sensation surged through her, painting a smile onto her face and sending butterflies aflutter in her stomach. Yet, what if he had only asked for her hand out of a sense of responsibility? Leonora could not bear the thought. She could not imagine marrying him if he only did so out of kindness.
“I don’t know,” Leonora whispered, wishing she could be certain. She could not imagine marrying a man she loved, but who did not love her back. “He has always been there for me, always protected me.” She looked up and met her father’s gaze. “What if…?”
Her father nodded, understanding her question without words. “Is that what you believe? Or what you fear?” He rose to his feet and walked around the desk, seating himself on the corner. Looking down, he smiled at her. “I’ve seen the way you two look at one another. Yes, he watches over you, but whenever you are not looking, the way he looks at you has nothing to do with protectiveness.” A wistful smile came to his face. “In fact, it reminds me very much of the days after first meeting your mother. I could not help but stare at her. Whenever she was near, it was as though the whole world went away. All I could see was her. It was as though I could not believe that such an incredible woman could truly exist, that she was truly here right in front of me. It took me a while to work up the nerve to address her, afraid she could not possibly accept me.” A deep smile came to his face, full of affection and longing. “If you ask me, he looks at you the same way, unable to believe that you are truly real.”
Leonora felt tears come to her eyes. She surged to her feet and threw herself into her father’s arms. “Thank you, Father. For everything.”
“Always.” He held her tightly. “What do you intend to do now? I hope you know that you have my blessing, no matter what you decide.”
Standing back, Leonora dabbed at her eyes. “I know, but I don’t know what to do. I...I...” Her heart was aflutter, and her mind felt strangely empty, unable to catch a clear thought.
Offering her his handkerchief, her father looked into her eyes. “I suggest you sneak through the gap in the hedge and speak to Lord Pemberton.”
Staring at her father, Leonora knew not what to say. Despite everything she had told her parents, she had never mentioned that little fact nor the truth about where she went every other afternoon.
Her father laughed. “Don’t look so surprised. You have no idea what I did when I was young.” He moved to open the door, gesturing forward. “Now, go.”
Kissing her father on the cheek, Leonora slipped out the door and hurried down the corridor to the drawing room. She forgot everything around her and hastened through the gardens to the gap in the hedge, crossing it once more, hoping that her father was right.
Chapter Forty-Four
Because
The moment Drake heard the sound of her footsteps, he surged across his study, yanking open the door.
And there she was, cheeks flushed, and tears in her eyes, but a wide smile upon her face.
Leonora.
Drake could feel his pulse beating in his veins as he simply stood there, one hand on the door, the other braced on the doorframe, eyes fixed upon the woman standing only a few feet away. A part of him wanted to look at her forever. Another part of him wanted to know if she would be his.
“May I come inside?” she asked a bit breathlessly, her wide blue eyes trailing over his face in a way that felt new, unfamiliar.
Clearing his throat, Drake nodded, then stepped aside. As she moved past him, he wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms. Yet, he did not, as so often torn between the two extremes of keeping his distance and being close. Never would he want to make her uncomfortable.
Finally, Drake closed the door, his mind curiously empty. Was there not something he ought to ask her?
Indeed, when he had gone to her house earlier that morning, his thoughts had been quite structured in his head. He had known exactly what he had wanted to say.
Only to have found her absent.
Yet, he could not simply have left, and so he had asked to speak to her father. The day before at the ball, he had sensed some kind of understanding between them, and Drake had wanted to see if it was still there. After all, if Leonora accepted him, they would all be family soon, would they not?
Drake could not deny that the thought pleased him.
“I heard you spoke to my father,” Leonora said in a slightly shaky voice. She stood by the window but turned around the moment the last word had left her lips. Her wide eyes once more searched his, and he could see a question there.
A question that was not unlike the one that plagued him.
“I did,” he confirmed without sense, slowly approaching, his gaze on hers out of habit, gauging whether or not his approach made her nervous. “I had a question to ask.”
Leonora nodded, her hands clasped together, the sinews almost standing out white. She was nervous—Drake could see that—but why?
“Why?” she said as though echoing his own thoughts.
Drake frowned, still moving closer, unable to stay away. “Why?”
She swallowed hard, her eyes settling somewhere near the tips of his shoes. “Why…did you ask for my hand?” Her gaze snapped up to meet his.
Drake inhaled a deep breath, knowing the moment had finally come. Never had he been good at sharing his innermost thoughts and feelings with others. In truth, he had never done so. He had never had to. How did one go about telling another how one felt? Was it simply those three little words that did the trick? Oddly enough, they seemed almost insufficient to Drake. They were something people said all the time, and he often found himself wondering whether or not they still held any true meaning. Perhaps it simply depended on the way one said them. How was he to say them so that Leonora could believe them, could hear his sincerity?
Her eyes fell from his, and a slight blush came to her cheeks as a look of utter dismay fell over her face. “You don’t have to explain,” she said in contrast to her earlier question. What had prompted her to do so? Drake wondered. Had he perhaps remained silent for too long? “I thank you for your consideration,” she mumbled, her hands still clasped tightly, and her eyes seemingly glued to the floor between them. “You’ve always been at my side and encouraged me to fight for myself.” A small smile came to her face, and she looked up at him once more. “I’m truly grateful. Please know that. However, there is no need for you to ask for my hand. Ruined or not, I shall be fine. My family stands with me. I no longer need you to protect me.” She swallowed, and he could see that she was struggling to keep herself from averting her eyes.
It was in that moment that Drake realized that he was not the only one worried that his affections would not be returned. Indeed, all of a sudden, he understood that slight tremble in her hands, that look in her eyes, fleeting and yet lingering, the way she occasionally worried her lower lip. He understood all of those subtle signs to mean that she felt as he did.