He had to stay busy and physically accomplish something every day until he was totally exhausted to avoid insomnia at night. He had no down time and no free time. They were both unnecessary and unwelcome. Any relaxation brought fresh thoughts of Daisy. Asher could not bear to think of her now. So, his work became a hobby and his main source of joy. He was young, strong, and hungry with ambition. Now that he owned some land, some stock and an old house, it was just as Daisy foresaw, glorious. It meant much more to Asher though. He respected its long existence on earth and was proud to restore it as it was. It not only provided motivation, giving him something to do at all times, in the end, it healed him too.
He kept track of Daisy’s career. He knew all about her law school in Chicago and had a general idea of how well it was going. He knew about her internship and that she graduated at the top of her class. He heard about her first job and that she was dating Palmer. He heard it was serious too. He knew everything.
It hurt him a lot. But he wanted Daisy to be happy. And she couldn’t be happy with him.
His regret gnawed and tore at him.
Asher dedicated himself to fully restoring the old ranch. As each task brought it further and further into being a working success his satisfaction and pride rose a notch. His success was known only to his parents and sister. But it meant the world to him.
Even though he was without Daisy and didn’t have a graduation ceremony to mark his progress, he wished she knew how far he came. This place and all of its pieces were what made him the man he was.
The greatest tragedy in his life was that those pieces never aligned with her path.
As for his personal life? That became obsolete. Being physically busy at building his own future, so isolated and far from others, rarely bothered him. He figured he had the best romance once with Daisy. If he couldn’t have her, why bother with anyone less? It demanded too much stress and time, so he didn’t think about seeking companionship. That was never part of his personality. Hence, why he chose to live and work on the old ranch. He preferred the solitude of the mountains and trees for company rather than any one person.
Besides that, his family remained close and he saw them more often. More frequently now than in years past. As his nephews got older, he did more things with them. Asher was the fun uncle. He took them motorcycle riding in the spring and summer, and they rode the snowmobiles in the winter. They loved to spend nights at his house, endlessly exploring old stuff, on the wide-open land and prairie that became their playground. Asher had very few rules. He let them eat sugary treats and drink pop and watch horror movies. They asked to come over all the time.
They were his company. The best company he could ask for. He didn’t need a woman.
Not anymore.
His herd of cattle started to grow. One day, he was visiting a local rancher to discuss the purchase of more cattle when a voice called out, “Asher Reed?”
Turning, he found a woman walking up to him. She wore jeans and chaps, cowboy boots and a flannel shirt with a hat. She looked like a rodeo performer. When she swiped off her hat, some stray brown hairs fell on her forehead in curly wisps. “I’m Kyomi Wade. Tom Wade’s daughter? A friend of your dad’s?”
“Oh. Right. Yeah. How the hell are you?”
“Good. I was living with my mom in southern Oregon for several years and just moved back to be with my dad. Helping him out with his cattle ranch. He’s getting older now and his health is fading. Surprised to find you here. When did the Rydells take up cattle?”
“They didn’t, not yet. I got my own place, the old Riesling spread. Do you know it? Up there outside of Tarson?”
“Hell, yeah. That’s good land. You own it?” Her eyes widened and twinkled with respect. No woman ever reacted like that when he announced his ranch acquisition. He detected some longing in her tone and what else? She was impressed.
“Yeah. I had help from my parents. They own most of it and my dad often helps me out… and I have a long way to go before I turn a profit or even make enough to quit my day-job working for the Rydell River Ranch, but there is potential that someday it will support me.”
“Damn. Neat. Congratulations. I’d love to come and see it. That old house was so incredible. Shame to see it empty and crumbling with the passage of so much time and so many rodents.”
“Nah. Not anymore. I’ve begun restoring it.”
“Seriously? I have to see it now. Do you mind? I mean, sorry, but I just got excited. We used to go up there a lot when I was a kid to go sledding.”
Sledding? Yes. It was an excellent sledding hill. Daisy showed him that. He nodded and smiled. “Yeah, it still is. Tell you what? Why don’t you bring a thermos of hot chocolate and I’ll show you the house and the sledding hill?”
“I’ll do you one better and make it vodka.”
“Okay, now you’re talking.” They shared a long grin.
She was pretty. Plain, but trim and strong. There was something attractive in her sharp chin and pointed nose. Muscles covered her arms. This woman could obviously hold her own, even on a ranch. He gave her a more interested glance. “Tomorrow? Say two o’clock? Bring your sled for the day? And I’ll scrounge up some dinner?”
“I’d love that. And I’m not a picky eater.”
“Okay, then it’s a date?”
Date? Did he say that? Did he want that? She wasn’t Daisy. No. Not at all. The antithesis of Daisy. But that was the point, right? Asher genuinely enjoyed the few moments they spent together. The sparks of attraction and other things they had in common made sense since she came from a ranch. She must have been willing to be there. He believed so.
“Are you here to buy some head of cattle too?”
“Yep. Taking over for my dad.”
Right. So, she wouldn’t have to leave him for something different. Or better. There was nothing better, in Asher’s estimation, than working your own land. But not for Daisy. The big city with lots of people everywhere was her version of better.
“Then yeah, I’ll see you. It’s a date.”
She gave him a small smile and a nod that was straightforward, but the gleam in her eyes glimpsed her undeniable interest.
They both enjoyed a smooth, easy, casual date. There were no long silences or awkward conversations. No differences in their view of the world, it seemed. Her uncanny interest in his ranch was real and elaborate. She could not pretend to know the things that only another rancher would ask about. They had fun sledding and drinking vodka later with their burgers. Eventually, they ended up in the bedroom.
Which was good and satisfying.
Nothing unusual or extraordinary. Not against the wall. No tender embraces after. Pleasant. Nice. Satisfying. For both of them.
The way it should be. How grown-ups had relationships. Asher was inexperienced with relationships when he’d started dating Daisy. He never denied that. She was younger but managed to teach him many things. She groomed him to become a mature, wise, and fair boyfriend. But now, he was much older and more mature.
“Do you want to do this again?” he asked her the next morning as she prepared to leave.
She paused and replied, “I would if you tell me who she is.”
Surprised by her answer, he gaped at her. “Whom do you mean?”
“The woman you were thinking about. The one you aren’t over yet. You were deciding if you wanted to do this with me, possibly to spite her.”