“It’s pretty impressive.”
He stared at her across the roof of the car and replied, “Just as you are.”
She gasped as she inhaled and looked down when fresh tears filled her eyes. Ducking into the car, he waited for her, giving them both a moment to recompose themselves. Then she slipped in.
Driving down the road, they were silent. Finally, she asked, “You… you haven’t seen them yet?”
“No, I guess because I didn’t know what to say or do.”
“What did you do?”
“Mom called me, herself, and told me straight up. She knows that’s how I like things. No way to ameliorate bad news. No way to prepare me. It doesn’t help, in my opinion. So, she called and made it clear to me in a concise and direct way. Cami visited her and Mom told her in person. She knew I needed some space. She told me to visit whenever I was ready. No pressure. She was always so good about that. No arbitrary standards to follow. What is the proper way to receive and react to life-altering, terrible news? Is it weird if you don’t cry and instantly run to their side? Mom understands because she knows me. She always cared about what I might need. She always respects my reaction without seeing it as a reflection on her.”
“Yes. I agree that is so you and so her. She’s such a good mom, one of the best.”
“She is,” Asher replied.
“What did they tell you?”
“Things don’t look good.”
“Yes. That’s what I was told too,” Daisy replied.
“That’s why you came to me?”
“Yes. Directly.”
He stared her up and down. “How come you didn’t go to my parents?”
“Because I knew you’d need some time to process it. Like you always do.”
“Because you know me pretty well too.”
“Yes.” She glanced at him, then back to the road. “Of course, I do. That hasn’t changed.”
He turned to look out the passenger window, feeling exhausted suddenly. By everything. His past with Daisy. Her understanding of him now. His mother being so sick but never failing to understand him.
“I don’t know what to say,” Asher admitted as they pulled into his parents’ driveway after many miles of silence.
“Maybe nothing. Just be here with her.”
He nodded. That sounded like good advice. But his stomach ached. The breakfast he ate before the phone call was threatening to reappear in a horrible way. Accepting such a big change to his life left him in agonizing pain. His life would never be the same as when he woke up this morning.
Nodding, he finally released the car door handle and stepped out. The entire landscape was altered in his mind. The driveway and walkway to the front door looked different and stood out more dramatically. He stared numbly as stomach acid climbed up his throat. Closing the car door, he headed to the house.
The door opened and his mom was standing there, surprising both Asher and Daisy. She gave them a small, soft smile. Her hair was attractively short and styled around her face. No makeup on her red eyes. Her outfit was clean and stylish. Always. That was just how Kate was. Tall and always appearing strong even at age seventy-one. Asher and Daisy found it hard to realize this woman was very sick. The ruthless illness housed in her body was forgotten for a moment. She was just his mom.
Her presence released the emotions pent up in both Asher and his mom. The tears fell. Their shared fear and hatred of facing this catastrophe. Asher was on the porch stairs when his mom opened the door. After exchanging long, poignant looks, he fully catapulted up the steps, eager to embrace her and sweep her into a warm, tight hug against him. As tall as he, she nodded her head on his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his back. “I’m still here, Asher. Honey. It’s okay. Everything will work out, someway, we’ll all be okay,” she muttered into his ear. Caring about him, soothing her son, instead of the reverse. Kate was logical and unpatronizing. He loved that about her.
They entered the living room of his childhood, where AJ stood, staring at them with tears streaming down his face, Asher wanted to memorize the moment and drink in their embrace. Cami clutched AJ’s hand and he squeezed hers.
Kate still stood tall, erect, and unwavering. She eased herself from his arms and set the palm of her hand on his jaw. “I’m glad you came over.”
“I’m sorry I took so long. I guess I needed…”
Kate smiled and finished his sentence. “Time. And Daisy.” She said the words without looking up at Daisy, who stood away, respecting their private moment.
Kate released him and put her hand out. “Daisy, honey, come inside.”
Daisy walked up to his mom and hugged her when Kate invited her in. She nodded when Kate whispered something to her. Then she said, “I’m so sorry, Kate.”
“I’m glad you’re here for him.”
What did they think? That Daisy went there to rekindle their love? She wasn’t there for that. They weren’t reliving the past. Asher certainly couldn’t go back there.
It felt nice though to have someone so understanding and concerned about him.
“I’m here because you’re… well, one of my favorite family members.”
So what if she slept with his son? Daisy saw Kate as another aunt in her extended family. It was very confusing to outsiders, but not to them.
Hell yeah, Asher was glad Daisy came too.
“Come sit down. I will tell you everything we know to date.”
They sat in the living room as Kate calmly and tearlessly explained her diagnosis. Many questions and comments later, which Kate fully answered, provided Daisy and Asher with needed clarity. AJ left the room twice when his tears overcame him. Cami left once. Kate never paused in her straightforward discussion.
They learned why no one else knew until now. AJ and she were suspicious about Kate’s health for a while and began to explore the possibilities privately with doctors awhile ago. They wanted to search out the answers themselves to know exactly what they were dealing with. Of all the possible scenarios, AJ and Kate never expected to discover it was stage four cancer. Or that now they had to tell their family the shocking news that would seem out of nowhere for them.
“We’re sorry.” Kate’s eyes welled with tears. “For the news and the abruptness of it. We just thought… feeling bad due to female issues seemed to be a private thing. I never, ever dreamed… this. I would have warned you all if I’d had any clue that the symptoms I had would end up being this serious.”
AJ stared down at his feet. His face chalky white. “We thought she just needed some medication or rest or…”
“We didn’t expect cancer. Or for it to be so far along.”
“Is it…?” Charlie voiced what the rest of them could not.
“Not good. It’s really not good.” Kate answered, tone gentle, making eye contact with each of them. The shiver of dread that forced down Asher’s spine. NO. God… just… no.
There was so many more words said. About options and treatments. There had been extensive scans done and options given. Ideas like doing rounds of chemo, and then surgery to try and remove or debulk it, and then more rounds of chemo.
Asher heard so many things and all of it was uncertain. It included so many “ifs” and “maybes”. But he fully heard the last part. “We’re going to see another specialist in Seattle in two weeks for further testing and options.”