Then again, she never seemed to fit into his barn.
But there she was. Her eyes were huge, glistening with fresh tears. She heard about his mother. She came to comfort him in this tragedy. Something he had yet to acknowledge. Or experience.
“What do you want?”
Daisy shook her head and her mouth opened and shut. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
“You must’ve heard. Obviously.” He stated his remark with icy logic and Daisy probably knew he was trying to hide behind it. He had to cling to something if only to keep the facts straight and forbid his emotions from showing.
He stared at her and wanted her to leave. Then he hoped she’d never leave. His torn heart worked long and hard to accept the cruel truth: he could not share his life with her. Not now, in this space, although he wanted to chuck it all just to have her again. Forget the logic and all his future plans. Asher wanted to just live for today. Like Daisy taught him.
But that was impossible, and they weren’t kids anymore.
His mother was dying.
Asher felt his heart breaking. Life became a nasty void in his mind. Reuniting with a lost love could not help it.
But Daisy came there.
He felt like his thoughts were written across his face.
She retreated at first and then suddenly, leapt forward with a rush of energy. That was how they always greeted each other in the past. It felt as natural as blinking or breathing, and Asher stepped forward to meet her in the middle as their arms encircled each other. Her head nestled into his chest at the exact center, her perfect spot. She squeezed his waist and gripped him tightly as he leaned his head down to rest on the top of hers before wrapping his arms around her.
It happened as it always did and that fast, they embraced. The years of separation vanished in a heartbeat. All the differences that kept them away. All the obstacles they overcame just to end in loss. All the time it took for Asher to heal and finally get over her. In an instant, it all rushed back and flooded his mind with happy images as well as grief. Time was irrelevant, and Asher didn’t care if it was today, tomorrow, or yesterday. This just felt right to him right now.
They embraced but did nothing more. No words, just holding each other. There were no words necessary. His throat swelled shut and prevented any sound from coming out. Yet he remained dry-eyed. He feared uttering any sound because it would come out as a mournful howl, the wail of a wounded, dying animal. In his gut, that was how he felt.
He wanted to kiss Daisy and bury his body inside hers. He wanted to remember how she felt and hoped to soothe the burning hole in his soul and his heart. Asher worried if he dared to speak, he would reveal his unmitigated anguish.
She lifted her head to look at him and he reacted by glancing down. Her blue eyes, liquid with tears, shone with sadness. He was lost in her warmth, care, and her unique way of making him feel completely whole again. It was so easy with her. Like he was looking at his own soul or touching his left hand. Daisy perfectly matched his personality but could not fit into his life. Staring longer, he started to lower his head and Daisy lifted hers up until their lips touched.
As soon as their lips met, it felt like Asher had been waiting years to finally come home. This was where he belonged. His eyelids fluttered shut and he was so grateful to be with her again. He missed the bubble of energy that always surrounded them.
The urge to return to her and try to go back to where they left off, overcame Asher quickly and he fought to resist it. That was the easy solution.
He lifted his head and shook it, saying, “I’ve been seeing someone else.”
“I know. Me too.” She blinked as she stepped away from him. “Or I was until just recently.”
Asher suddenly got cold, chilled straight to the core although Daisy was mere inches away.
They stared at each other. “I had to come see you. I’m sorry. Perhaps—”
He shrugged, turning his head away, but admitted, “There’s no one else I want right now. I just can’t… we can’t revisit the past. It’s not five years ago.”
She glanced down. “No, it’s not.”
He turned forward and scanned her up and down. “You sure look like a big city lawyer.”
She gave him the same scrutiny and used the same dry, neutral tone as he, saying, “You sure look like a small-town, reclusive cattle rancher.”
Their gazes were fastened on each other and they both smiled. Nothing else, nada, zero could make Asher smile that day.
No one but Daisy had the power to lift his spirit.
“I’m sorry,” she said. For what? Asher could only wonder. The lost years? Becoming a big city lawyer and leaving the small-town cattle rancher? For fulfilling her destiny? For being there now? For hugging him? For touching him? For reawakening everything he ever felt for her? Or was it because his mother was terminally ill? Because she was so fucking sick?
Asher recoiled as if she just stabbed him. Like a butcher knife penetrating his skin and tissue and tendons and guts to reach his heart, making him hemorrhage. Daisy didn’t wait for an answer, but slipped her hand into his, lacing his fingers with hers. It was the most poignant and heartfelt response and Asher was again thankful for her presence.
He stared away and said, “I need to go there soon. Come with me?”
“To your parents’ house?”
“Yes. They called me this morning with the bad news.”
“You heard it at the same time I did then?”
“Yeah. I don’t think they were trying to keep it quiet. I think…” The words suddenly vanished from his mind and a knot formed in his throat. He gulped and squeezed his eyes shut to prevent his tears from falling. After shuddering, he regained his composure. Finally, he said, “I think it’s so serious that we can’t waste any time.” Asher’s gaze landed on the opposite wall, where he examined a line of tools: shovels, pitchforks, pickaxes and old sleds hanging on large nails.
“Of course. Of course. Let’s go. I’m here strictly for you, Asher. I will do anything you ask.”
Daisy sounded like a good wife. Was she still his love? His girlfriend? Or just a friend? Here. Just be here. Letting his head fall, he did not give voice to his thoughts. No. He did not say any of them. He already lost the war. His heart was shattered and torn ragged from all the shrapnel he received. Asher used the power of his strong will to survive. Now? His dear mother was leaving him… oh, God, his mom was dying, and Daisy came to him. He could not bear the idea of losing one to the other, much less, losing them both. No, it could not happen.
He would not let that happen.
But what about Daisy? He could control himself for the time she was here. Maybe just today and nothing more. Maybe today, she could be his crutch. Nothing more.
Without another word, they left together and headed for her car. She’d parked in front of the now finished house. Her hungry gaze scanned it, starting with the exterior, to the barns, to the outbuilding, to the fencing and the ancient hills and mountains beyond.
“It’s so exquisite,” Daisy said softly. She was standing next to the car as she took it all in. Her tone was quiet and almost reverent when she repeated, “It’s absolutely exquisite. As you knew it could become despite how dilapidated you found it.”
“Yeah.” He grunted with a shrug and did not look at her. He remembered all the work it took. Every intimate detail of the remodeling, adding on, tearing down and constant improvement was etched in his mind. Every second, minute, hour, and day Asher spent on it. Every stick and nail of it were his own. Created by his hands alone. The summation of his hopes and dreams.