“I didn’t mean to upset you, Violet.”
I shake my head as I sip some water, gulping down a few mouthfuls and then I catch my breath as I swipe the back of my hand across my wet mouth.
“I’m the sorry one. Sorry I’m freaking out. The idea of marrying you doesn’t freak me out, Killian, it’s…”
He waits for me to elaborate but then he catches my hand, pulling it away from my throat where I’m scratching, something I’ve picked up as a nervous habit, and squeezes. “Talk to me, baby.”
“The idea of disappointing you does.” I drop my head and study my lap.
He rubs his thumb over the back of my hand.
“Marry me tonight, Violet. Quietly in Vegas. And then we’ll do it again for your family, for Susanna. Don’t make me wait another day, but then we can plan a big wedding for home, too. How about that?”
I swallow as I absorb this.
“In a church and hall or even a big outdoor thing in the spring by the water at our Tillamook house. Whatever you want.”
67
Killian
“I wanna marry you tonight,” I say. “You’re mine and I’m not giving you back. Ever.”
She swallows. “There’s no one to give me back to, Killian. It’s only you. Are you worried because he’s out of jail?”
I shake my head. “He will not ever come between us again. I’m not worried about that, believe me; I just want you to be a hundred percent mine in every way. I don’t wanna wait. Don’t make me wait, baby. We’ll do the family thing however and whenever you want, but tonight, do this for me. For us.”
Her beautiful eyes search my face.
“I need this,” I tell her. “I want this more than anything in the world, Violet. Well, second-most.”
“What’s first?” she asks.
“If I could go back three years… you know this. That’s the only thing I want more than to marry you tonight. No one can give us that, but we can give one another this.”
“Why does it have to be tonight?” she asks.
“Violet…” I groan. And then I rub my eyes and dig to find the words. “It’s been fucking with me hard the truths about the three years apart, about that shit stain fucking taking that from us, about what happened to you when you should have been mine. I don’t want to wait anymore. It’s my job to try to undo what he did to you, and-”
“It’s not your job to do that. And I’m feeling bulldozed.”
I pull my lips tight for a second and then speak. “I’d apologize to you, but that’d be lying, because I do not feel bad for wanting to tie the knot with you so tight that it’ll never be untied. I know I’ll sleep better at night when that happens.”
“Are you not sleeping well?” she asks, looking concerned.
I shake my head. “Forget about me right now. Do you have reservations about marrying me? Do you feel like you don’t have enough information about what life with me will be like? Because it’s gonna be everything it’s been, baby. Me taking care of you. Me being there for you in any way I can be.” I grab her hand and kiss it. “We can do the family wedding too. Let’s just do this tonight. Who gets hurt by that?”
“If I’m fibbing to my family… I can’t do that. I don’t like lying, Killian.”
“How about you call them and ask them what they think? Ask them if they wanna come. We’ll have them come. I’ll fly them out. Susanna, too. If that’s what it’s gonna take…”
She takes fists full of her hair on both sides of her head.
And it hurts that I’m causing her distress. But I’m not backing down here. I give no fucks. This woman is going to be married to me this weekend, one way or another. I need it.
Is it because today’s the anniversary of my mother’s death? Maybe that’s playing a part. Is it because of some things going on right now that I can’t talk about with her? Maybe that, too.
Bottom line, I want this. Need it.
She stares at me.
“Give me your phone,” I say.
She stares. “What are you gonna do?”
“Do you trust me?” I ask.
She nods.
“Then say yes. Say you’ll marry me tonight. And give me your phone. I promise you that if you trust me, everything is gonna be okay. Okay?”
She nods slowly and then reaches for her purse across the aisle from under the seats we’d been buckled into.
She passes me her phone. And I feel like pounding my chest in triumph because I love how much she trusts me.
I scroll until I find her father’s contact details. I call him.
“Hello?” he greets.
“Mr. Gates, it’s Killian.
68
Violet
“Sir, I wanna ask you an important question. Is your wife there with you? Can you put the phone on speaker so I can talk to you both?”
He moistens his lips and then takes my hand.
“Hi Mrs. Gates. I’m good, thanks. How are you?”
His eyes twinkle as I watch. I like that he likes my mom. I know she likes him a lot.
“So, Violet and I are on a plane, on our way to Las Vegas for the weekend, and I just proposed to her.”
I hear my mother squeal through the phone.
I shakily lift my champagne and take a hearty gulp.
“Sure, one sec,” he says and puts the phone on the table in front of us, touching the command to put it on speaker. I take another gulp of champagne.
“You’re on speaker Mr. and Mrs. Gates.”
“Hi Mom, Dad,” I say.
“Congratulations, honey!”
“Th-thank you,” I say shakily.
“Mr. and Mrs. Gates, please forgive me for not calling first to ask for permission,” Killian says.
“It’s okay, son. You would have got it if you had,” Dad says.
I pull my lips tight. Son? He’s met him three times. Ray didn’t even get called by his name. Dad was so indifferent in the beginning and then there was just this animosity that hung in the air. Killian meets him a few times and is now getting son?
“I didn’t grow up with a father, so I didn’t have that example. I hope you’re not offended, sir.”
“I get it, Killian. Thank you for calling now.”
“There’s another reason I’m calling,” he says, eyes bouncing to me and then back to the screen. “It was my intention to marry your daughter tonight. She said yes to the proposal but she’s giving me a hard time about doing it without you guys there. What I wanna know is if you’d object to me and Violet getting married tonight in Vegas, so I don’t have to wait to be able to call her mine completely. And then… we’ll do it again with all the family and the church or whatever she wants.”
The phone is dead silent.
I bite my lip.
I can’t believe he’s just put them on the spot like this. But I’m also having a hard time being angry, because I feel so… so loved. So wanted. I don’t know how to reconcile it right now.
“Or…” Killian says, “I fly you both out and we do it tomorrow with you there.”