“Go for it,” Dad says, “I don’t wanna go to Vegas.”
“Definitely,” Mom agrees. “If that’s what she wants to do, do it. We can have a mulligan when you kids get home.”
“What?” I ask.
“Baby doll,” Mom says, “Why are you denying yourself if this will make you happy?”
“Well…” I say. “I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Not Killian, not you guys either. After all that we’ve been through lately, I just…I don’t know, I’m just trying to catch my breath here.”
“Never know what tomorrow can bring, Violet,” Mom says. “Do it. Say your vows for just one another tonight. Say them again for us when you get home.”
“Really?” I ask.
“Really,” Dad says for her.
“Family is important,” Mom says, “But marriage? It’s everything. You seem like you’re very in love.”
“I am,” I say softly.
“Okay, then it’s settled,” Killian says.
“When do you fly back?” Dad asks.
“Well, I was thinking Sunday evening,” Killian replies. “But my next call is to Violet’s boss so I can see if I can get her two weeks off so that I can take her to Italy for our honeymoon. My fiancée wants to go to Milan to buy some shoes.”
My mouth drops.
“You’ll miss thanksgiving,” Mom says, alarmed.
I wince.
“It’s her honeymoon, Daph,” Dad says.
“We’ll have Christmas together,” Mom readily agrees.
My eyes are bulging. “You’re sure you guys are okay with this?” I ask.
“As long as you are, we are,” Mom agrees. “Waited a long while to see you happy, sweet girl. Come over when you get back. Send us postcards while you’re gone. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say shakily.
“And pictures before Italy. Send some pictures tomorrow if you can, okay guys?”
“Will do,” Killian answers. “Bye for now, Mr. and Mrs. Gates. I promise I’ll make your daughter happy.”
“Call us Mom and Dad,” Mom invites.
Killian’s eyes are dancing with joy as he looks at me.
“Or Daphne and Kev,” my dad amends.
“Mom and Dad,” Mom corrects.
Killian’s shoulders shake with silent laughter. “How about Mom ‘n Kev?” Killian tries.
“Works for me,” Dad says quickly.
And I can’t help it, I smile wide.
69
Killian
“There are the dimples I love so much.”
She just said bye to her parents and ended the call.
I kiss her.
“You okay now?” I ask.
She doesn’t look okay. She looks uncertain.
“Baby,” I caress her face. “What can I do to make you sure? I’ll do anything.”
She bites her lip and then crawls into my lap. I hold her for a minute, kissing her head. I inhale the scent of her hair, absorb the feel of her on my lap, snuggled into me.
“What if I said I can’t? What if I tell you I really think I need more time?”
My chest goes cold.
“I feel like I finally have my voice back,” she says softly. “and you gave it to me. Thank you for that. But what if I feel like this is too fast, too soon? What if I wanna keep learning how to stand up and be me for a bit, figure out who I am now?”
I pull her closer, “You can do that as Mrs. Killian Coulter, you know. I would never ever stop you from being who you are. I promise. Marry me tonight, baby. It should’ve been me that night and it was him because he’s a fucking cheat. I fuckin’ wish I could go back. We would’ve been here by now anyway, fuck, by now we’d probably have babies. The biggest part of me wants to plead with you to not make me wait another day, Violet.”
70
Violet
Babies? My God. I want his babies like I want my next breath.
I know I should stand my ground. But looking at him, hearing the tone of his voice right now and thinking about all this trouble he went to today? At the possibility of a future with him?
He sighs. “I’ll give you whatever you want. If you feel like we really should wait, of course I’ll give you that, baby.”
I look up into his eyes.
“That’s why I won’t make you wait,” I whisper.
His face lights up. “Testing me?”
“No,” I murmur. “Not trying to. Just processing.”
He squeezes me lovingly. “So, your answer is yes?”
I nod.
“Say it, Violet.”
“Yes.”
He grabs my jaw and stares into my eyes. “It feels like I’m flying so high right now that I can carry this plane the rest of the way to Vegas on my back.”
He kisses me with so much emotion, I feel like I could expire. And do it happily.
“I’m ready to fuck you again,” he says.
I break the kiss off as he reaches up my shirt and starts pulling a bra cup down.
“Wait a minute there, fiancé. I need to call Suse.”
“Fiancé,” he mutters. “I like that.” He gives me an affectionate squeeze.
“I’ll have to say it as many times as I can in the next few hours since you’re only going to be my fiancé for that long…”
“That’s fine by me. I can’t wait until you call me your husband.”
“I’ll call Suse.”
“I’ll call your boss directly after.”
“By the way,” he says, “By the look in your eyes when I just said babies? Guess whose birth control pills are getting flushed tonight?”
I giggle. “Don’t be crazy.”
“Watch me,” he retorts, looking completely serious. And then he reaches for my bag and fishes around until he finds them.
“Wait,” I giggle and reach for them.
He picks up a strawberry and pops it in my mouth, leaving me laughing while he disappears into the lavatory and I hear the flush.
Holy shit.
71
Ray
Light blinds me for a second before it vanishes and I’m again in darkness. Something hits me in the head at the same time as it goes dark while something else lands on the floor after bouncing off my sore knee. The impact from the thing that hit my head knocks me back and I smack the back of my head against the concrete wall I’m leaned against. This isn’t the first time something’s hit me on the head on its way down here. I swear this guy does it on purpose.
I feel around for it. Another tin can.
Fuck. More dog food.
I feel by my knee. Another bottle of water.
My face hurts. A lot. I think the cut on my cheek is infected.
My ribs aren’t feeling any better either. I know a few were broken weeks ago when he took his first beating to me. The second beating included a gunshot to my right knee. That, he had a doctor deal with, but it’s not healing well, especially not now in this dirty pit he threw me in. Locked me in. He said it’s my temporary home while he has my cell remodeled. That was a couple weeks ago, I think. I’ve lost count, lost the concept of time.