Letting out a sexy growl while his right hand slides into the front of my jeans, his fingers walk their way down into my panties where he finds me slippery. Ready. Very ready.
“Mm,” he rumbles appreciatively against my throat. “I wanna fuck you in this kitchen, then I wanna fuck you in your bed. Thought about fucking you in that bed every night the past fifteen nights.”
“Yeah?” I ask. “I thought about you fucking me in that bed, too.”
“You touch yourself while you think about me?” he asks, tonguing my earlobe.
I jolt tight. And then I chortle. “That’s a blunt question.”
“You did,” he murmurs. “Didn’t you?”
I shiver.
“I fucked my fist in my shower every day the last two weeks thinking about you,” he tells me in that sexy, husky voice.
Wow. That’s hot.
I shiver again and he laughs low. It’s clear he likes that he draws that reaction from me.
“Gonna fuck you hard in that bed,” he confirms. “And then your room becomes the guest room, because you’re gonna be down the hall in my bed.”
Holy smokes.
“Killian…”
“Gonna fuck you here,” he says, grinding against me again and pushing a finger inside me. He crooks it and hits my g-spot.
A rush of air leaves my mouth with a whimper.
“Killian,” I say again, and this time, he doesn’t ignore the tone or the fact that I’m trembling. His hand leaves my pants as he turns me around.
I’m trying to clear my expression as I turn, but he notices.
“Talk to me,” he requests, eyes soft.
I bite my lip. “That’s fast. Really fast. I’m not sure we should move that quickly.”
“I don’t care,” he tells me and the heat in his eyes is hot enough I can feel it.
His hand wraps around my lower back and he puts his lips to mine for a brief kiss. “Don’t care a bit how fast it seems,” he says. “This past two weeks has felt like a year.”
I wince.
“Okay, let me back up,” he says. “I care what you think. I do. I just don’t wanna go slow. I feel like the past two weeks has taken forever. Life is short, baby.”
I blow out a breath.
He kisses me again and whispers against my mouth, “Soon we’ll talk him out of our systems, and he’ll be a blip in the history books. That’s all.”
God, that’ll be nice.
“Barely a blip,” he adds, squeezing my shoulders, “Because I already know, this fast, that I want a future with you. It’s not playing it cool by laying that on the line, but you’ll learn pretty quick that when I say I mean something, I give no fucks. I know what I want. I want you, Violet. I knew that the night I met you and I felt it in my gut that night in your apartment when I came back with him.”
“It’s easy to think that way right now with things being as crazy as they’ve been, but we really should take things a little slower and-”
“No fucking way,” he snaps, and I jolt back, but there’s nowhere to go. “I’m gonna find a way to undo the bullshit he did to you. I know that doesn’t sound realistic but watch me try.”
My heart races. He keeps ranting.
“You’re no longer in limbo as you called it with him, don’t wait to be happy. Life’s too short, Violet. Look what he took already; don’t let him take more by being guarded with me. Shed his bullshit like an old skin.”
His face then changes and he leans in. “Hey? I’m not likin’ that you’re shaking. You shouldn’t be afraid of me, Violet. Ever.”
I’m breathing hard. He tags my hand and directs me to the couch. We sit and I catch my breath.
“You scared of me?” he asks.
I shake my head and will my body to stop trembling.
“Sorry. You just got amped there and I just flipped out a little.”
“I wouldn’t ever hurt you, Violet. Never will I use those intimidation tactics you told me he used. That’s not what I was doing. I just mean what I say. I felt strong about what I was saying and maybe you mistook that.”
“I know,” I say, grabbing his hand.
His face is filled with remorse. I know he wasn’t trying to scare me.
“I’m sorry, Killian. It’s The Ray Effect. I’m feeling like I’ve still got PTSD from being with him.”
“You’re no longer with him. You’re mine now, Violet. That means it’s time for The Killian Effect.”
I snicker.
He’s serious. He doesn’t crack a smile.
I moisten my lips. “What does that look like?”
His harsh expression melts into a smile that makes my heart skip a beat. He drops a sweet kiss on my hand before pulling me onto his lap. “Dimples.”
I smile, shyly.
He pokes my cheek. “Like those. And orgasms. Smiles. Happy Violet. Even happier Killian.”
“Stunning orgasms?” I ask.
His eyes light up playfully. “Like you won’t believe…”
“I already don’t believe…”
“Then let me show you,” he leans in and kisses me.
And things quickly get heated as his mouth moves over mine, as his sounds and touch excite me. I pull back to catch a breath.
“But is warp speed necessary? This is hard to explain, but I’ve been through what feels like a war or time served in a prison. I need to figure out who I am now. I’m changed. And I’ve been dying to just have time to figure out who I am now.”
“So what are you saying?” He props his elbow on the back of the couch and rests his cheek on his palm.
The look on his face has my heart feeling like it’s caving in.
“I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you. You came out of the blue, unexpectedly. Like a hero.” I’m feeling emotional. My chin wobbles. “You’re like an answered prayer, a wish blown on a dandelion coming true. But I’m a little scared.”
His eyes flash with something I don’t think I’ve ever seen. It just about knocks me over. “Nothing to be scared about,” he says gently. “I’ll slay all the monsters, Violet. Every one of them. You might say we can’t see the future but I’ve gotta tell you, I feel like I can. I feel like it’s you and me, all the way.”
Oh my God. This guy truly is a dream come true.
“I don’t wanna fuck it up because of how fucked up I am.”
He shakes his head. “I’ve got all the patience in the world for you, for what you’ve been through. Could’ve been us three years ago, all this time. Let’s not waste more time.”
I blow out a long breath. “I don’t wanna be fucked up, afraid, I wanna find my voice again, Killian. I just wanna make sure I don’t screw up with you by us taking things too fast. I wanna maybe get a little bit of counseling. Take things slow, so I fix myself instead of jumping in with you and going too fast and doing this the wrong way. I lost myself with him and I don’t want to be lost anymore.”
“Do you, okay, baby? I’m here. I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t wanna wait. I’ve already lost three years and I don’t wanna play games with this. I want you to know where I’m at.”