What did I do to deserve this?
Is karma apologizing to me right now for what I endured with Ray and now I’m getting rewarded for all that?
I have no idea.
All I know is that Killian is touching me like I’m a prize he’s not just won, that I’m someone he prayed he’d get to win. He’s looking at me like he wants me, making me feel like a new version of who I used to be. He’s helping me sand away the veneer of ugliness that built up on me while Ray hurt me again and again.
I don’t wanna move too fast and screw this up. I also don’t wanna push him away and screw this up.
I need Susanna. I need girlfriend time. I’m glad I’m getting that tomorrow.
I’m under him, things are hot and heavy as he puts his mouth on my breast and kisses his way up to my lips, as he wraps my leg around his hip and then locks eyes with me as he slowly slides in. A muscle jumps in his cheek and then his lips part as pleasure envelopes his face.
“Lookin’ forward to this after we get tested, baby,” he says.
I nod. “I’ll do it as soon as possible.”
“I will too. Can’t wait.”
I cup his jaw in both hands and pull his mouth toward mine.
And then he rolls and I’m on top. He pulls both my knees tight to his side and orders, “Ride me, Violet.” He then lets go of my legs to grab my boobs.
A whimper escapes my lips as I adjust to the depth, at how this feels – so deep, so full. Killian’s hand drifts down my boob, whispering its way across my ribcage until his thumb is between us, toying with me as I rock back and forth with him inside me.
This feels incredible.
“Do the thing,” he whispers.
“Hm?” I ask. “The thing?”
“Make your pussy squeeze me.”
Tingles spread through me at his dirty-talk.
I tighten around him and the sound he makes – it encourages me to do it again. And again. I squeeze around him as I rock, as his fingers pick up pace. I grab the top of his headboard for better leverage. Once I have hold of it, I rock with more force onto his cock, against his fingers, watching how he looks at me, how his chest rises and falls with his breathing, how his throat moves as he swallows, the way his neck muscles strain as he loses himself to the sensations he’s getting from me. My breathing pace quickens, and I’m fast-tumbling over the edge toward an orgasm, my head lolling back and my eyes losing focus.
“Come, baby. I wanna see it, though. Look in my eyes when you do,” he orders.
I look down at his face and it’s a beautiful sight to behold as I fall over that cliff into a blissful state of euphoria. His eyes scorch me, his touch owns me.
Before I’ve come all the way to the other side of it, he’s turning me to my back so he can power into me over and over, staring into my eyes, holding my face. I wrap my legs around his middle and cry out a garbled version of his name as my orgasm turns into a second one, a deeper one because as he spills into me, eyes on mine, mouth just inches away, he grunts my name and then collapses onto me, face buried beside my ear.
My heart is beating so hard it feels like it might explode out of my chest.
I breathe, like I’ve been running for my life. I try to catch my breath and stop myself from bursting into tears again because sex has never been this good, never been this intimate. I’ve never felt so seen, so wanted before.
“Apple juice?” he asks, his voice a rumbly murmur into my ear.
I nod. “That sounds amazing. I think you killed me. Apple juice might bring me back. Maybe.”
“You look alive and well to me,” he tells me.
“Killed me,” I whisper. “Kill killed me with his killer. That’s what I’m gonna name it. Killer.”
“Please tell me you’re not naming my dick Killer.”
I nod and rasp out, “Apple juice. Hurry. Revive me so I can think of a better name.”
He kisses my shoulder as he rolls away from me to go deal with the condom and get me a drink. He looks over his shoulder on the way though and the smile on his face, the amusement and affection in his eyes? Gosh… I’m falling for this guy hard and fast.
54
Violet
“Yep,” I tell Susanna. “I have no idea what’ll happen from there, but eight boxes of my stuff got dropped off at Killian’s apartment, so I have almost everything except my kitchen stuff and my furniture.”
We’re in a booth at McHop’s.
“You should definitely move in with him.”
I take a long draw on my straw and I’m shaking my head as I swallow.
“No, what I should do is move in with you, date him for six months, and then maybe move in with him.”
“Nope,” she tells me, then bites into a pretzel.
My coworkers, their friends, and Susanna’s friend Brit haven’t arrived yet. We decided to meet an hour early, just us, so I could catch her up on some stuff and get some perspective.
She’s been super supportive – of Killian’s efforts to have me move in. Not at all supportive of my fishing for confirmation I should go slow.
A tall blonde heads for us and I recognize her as Brit from Susanna’s social media. She has the face of a model, has to be six feet tall, and she’s built like a personal trainer. She’s beautiful and I’m feeling intimidated.
Half an hour later, I’m feeling a bit better because we’re all a little tipsy, Brit is bubbly and hilarious. But she’s now ganging up on me with Susanna in trying to convince me to move in with Killian and claim then fill that empty half of a giant luxury walk-in closet I’ve told them about.
Brit also tells me I should get pregnant immediately and get that hunk to put a ring on it.
“I showed her pictures of you two from that new club of his and filled her in about the dickhead. The basics,” Susanna says, letting me know she didn’t reveal anything too personal.
“Get yourself in there, girl. He is super-fine. And rich. And Susanna said he helped you get away from a scuzzy ex that gave you a bunch of crap the last couple years. This guy sounds like a knight. A knight who swooped in to help you and started falling for you right away. If you leave that penthouse without him asking you to, you are craycray. When are you having us over to see it?”
“Um… I’ll get back to you on that.”
“Girls’ night in. ASAP,” Susanna adds.
Tara, Cammy, Debbie, and another girl who I guess by the family resemblance must be Cammy’s cousin Esther approach the table.
And our night is off to a running start when Brit orders a round of shooters.
They’re all giddy when I explain that we’re being picked up by a driver, taken to Numbers, and that the whole night is on Killian. Players’ cards, dinner, drinks, and of course everyone will get a ride home.
I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted that he wanted to do this for me – give me a fun night to celebrate with my friends.
“You’ll be the one getting a ride, though, at the end of the night, won’t you?” Cammy elbows me in the side, winking exaggeratedly.
I told them in the text that I broke up with my ex and that I was now seeing Killian and got all sorts of emojis and squees from Cammy.