"Just give it time. He'll eventually find his way and then maybe you two will be friends again."
"Maybe, although I doubt I'll hear from him much after he moves."
"He got a job?"
"Yeah. In Denver. It's the one he interviewed for like a month ago. They finally called him back and offered him the job. He starts September first."
"Good for him. I'd call and congratulate him, but he'd probably hang up on me."
Nate hasn't talked to Brad since he left. Brad's tried calling him and sending him texts, but Nate just ignores him.
"I went out with Giada last night," I say.
"Yeah. What's new with her?"
"She's leaving soon too. She's going back to Dallas at the end of the month. I'm really going to miss her."
"You guys can still be friends."
"I know, but it won't be the same, not seeing her every day. She invited me to come over tomorrow night. Her roommate's making lasagna and they're watching movies."
"Sounds fun."
"It does, but I'm not sure if I'll go."
"Why wouldn't you?"
"I haven't been feeling that great."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"I've just been really tired. Probably because my mom keeps blasting the TV all night. Now that she doesn't have to get up for work, she stays up all night watching TV."
"Tell her to turn it down."
"I do, but she doesn't listen."
"Go to Giada's tomorrow. It'll get you out of there for a few hours and you'll get to eat lasagna. You love lasagna." He pauses and I hear someone talking in the background. "Yeah, Mom, just a minute."
"You need to go?"
"My mom just needs help with some boxes. It can wait."
"How's your mom dealing with this? Has she been..." I wait for him to say it.
"Popping pills? Not that I know of. Haven't seen her drinking either. She's been doing pretty well, better than I thought she would. I think it's helped to have me here. And getting the house sold helped ease her stress."
"Has she talked to your dad?"
"He can't talk to us while he's in rehab, but she hasn't said anything bad about him. And she still hasn't filed for divorce. I'm thinking they might get back together."
"Really?"
"It's possible. If she wanted the divorce, she would've filed by now."
"That's good news, right?"
"Depends on if that's what they want. If they make each other happy, then yeah, I hope they stay together."
Brad makes me happy. Happier than I've ever been. And yet we can't be together. Thinking about that makes me tear up, so I shove that thought away and try to think of something else. But it's all I can think about. Why did he have to leave? Why did he have to show up here in the first place? And why did I have to fall in love with him?
"Riley, my mom keeps yelling at me to help. Can I call you back later?"
"It's getting late. Why don't we just say goodnight? We can talk tomorrow."
"Okay. I love you. Try to get some sleep."
"I will. Goodnight."
I end the call, then call up Giada.
"Hey, Riley."
"He's leaving," I say, my voice cracking. "For good this time." I break down crying.
"Oh, Riley, I'm sorry. Tell me what happened. Or actually, can you come over?"
"I guess I could, but it's kinda late."
"It's not even ten. Grab an overnight bag and get your butt over here. You can tell me everything, then stay the night so you don't have to drive home."
"You sure your roommate won't mind?"
"My roommate loves you. Now hurry up. I'll have ice cream waiting. Or vodka. Which do you need?"
"I don't know. Maybe both."
"Got it. See you soon!"
When I get to her apartment, I tell her about Brad leaving and we try to come up with any possible way to make this work. But we can't come up with anything. Because it's not possible. Even if I wasn't worried about leaving my mom, I can't afford to move to New York. Even if I could, Brad wouldn't have time to see me. And I wouldn't want him making time. School needs to be his priority. I love him enough to accept that.
I love him enough to do what's best for him.
I love him enough to let him go.
The next morning, I'm still sad but feel a little better after talking to Giada. She's become my new best friend. She's always there when I need her, and she always finds a way to make things seem not so bad. I'm going to miss her so much when she leaves.
"Want some breakfast?" she says as I go in the kitchen. She holds up a plate that's stacked with pancakes.
"Sure." I take a seat at the counter.
She hands me a plate. "Help yourself."
I grab a fork and take two pancakes from the stack.
"Did you sleep?" she asks.
"Yeah. Your couch is really comfortable."
"You can sleep there again tonight if you want."
As I pour syrup on my pancakes, I smell the sweet maple scent and suddenly feel sick. I drop my fork and back away.
"You okay?" Giada asks as I scramble to get off the barstool.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
I run to the bathroom and make it just in time. I lay on the cold tile for a few minutes, then go back to the kitchen.
"What happened?" Giada asks.
"I got sick. It came on really fast."
"Do you think you have the flu?"
"I don't know. I don't feel like I do. It was just my stomach, but now I feel fine."
"Huh." She puts her hand on her hip. "You think it's something you ate last night?"
"We ate the same things. And you're not sick, are you?"
"No. I feel fine."
She walks over to me and feels my forehead. "You don't feel hot."
"I don't think I'm sick. I guess my stomach just didn't want pancakes this morning."
"Guess not." She goes back around the counter and pours a glass of orange juice. "Try this."
She hands me the glass. I take a sip and cringe. "Oh, God, that's disgusting. Did it expire?"
"No, it's brand new. I just had some. I thought you liked orange juice."
"I do. I love it. That just didn't taste good for some reason."
She stares at me, her head cocked.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You've been really tired lately, right?"
"Exhausted. I can barely keep my eyes open. I have to find a way to get my mom to turn the TV down at night."
"I don't think this has to do with your mom."
"What do you mean?"
Her brows rise. "Tired? Throwing up? Things not tasting right?"
"Yeah? What about it?"
"Come with me." She races off to the bathroom, while I follow behind, confused.
"What are you doing?" I ask as she frantically searches the linen closet.